MIL getting difficult to handle..plz help !!!

19852 · Dec 10, 2012

Dear Kinzaf,
Feeling very sad after reading ur story..dont know why mil's marry their sons if they are so much insecure about loosing them ..thnx for ur support ..yes i do tell my husband if im having problems..to some extreme he agrees to some he doesnt..u r right i shouldn't keep mum else my mil will dominate me for whole life.im trying my best to gain husband's confidence by talking politely and not saying much against his mother everytime..hope all the suggestions i got from all u guys should help me..thnx a tonn !!

vidhya81 · Dec 10, 2012

Dear friend,
You might be from an other country. How similar are stories even across the border. Don't loose hope. Live life for yourself gals. Live happily

kinzaf said: ↑

Dear 19852,
i am new to dis forum.after reading ur story i feel as if somebody iz re-telling my story.My mil n fil are such %$$#$^^.my husband has been married for da second time yet they treat me soooo badly.when i was pregnant n in chilla(40 days) my inlaws instigated my husband so much against me that he beated me i told my mom she called up my fil n asked him to give a guarantee that he would not hit me again.but now few days back my mil fought with me over such a useless issue n slapped me n blamed that i had hit her in my husband n fil absence .on there return my husband was so furious he told me to leave i left the place but i know God is with me.
I would advise u not to give her so much importance n keep ur stuff under lock n most of all plzzzzzzzzzzz do tell ur husband if u r nt happy about something i know he may nt listen to u or try to get upset but u should keep teling him someday he would start listening to u.dis is the mistae i made initially being mum about my inlaws wrong attitude with me since i live with my inlaws.
All the best!
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ShilpaMa · Dec 10, 2012

19852
Agreed about other MIL related nonsense and plans to reunite with them...

I have just 1 question... is it a really big deal if someone is wearing your clothes without your permission or just inlaws? I was in hostel for many years... and for some part I shared cupboard with a roommate.. altho I never wore hers but she did without any explicit permission... it never angered me.

For a while I used to feel that if someone's getting compliment for my dress then its a compliment to me as well.. Also that they liked to wear my stuff over theirs... it wasn't a robbery or permission denied....
If something is spoiled then I have a chance to replace it.. . finally am not keeping clothes for centuries esp if am travelling to different cities.. if someone else can wear my sarees. .well n good.... since i don't get a chance.

Am somehow less attached to jewellery and marriage related or other clothes so maybe not able to understand your emotions... but whatever state ppl return my clothes I re wash them as per my std or discard them if they're really spoiled. Maybe this is less of a nonsense for me since apart from sarees my stuff will have to be 3X / 4X times to fit anyone inlaws side.

19852 · Dec 11, 2012

Hi Shilpa Ma,

"I have just 1 question... is it a really big deal if someone is wearing your clothes without your permission or just inlaws? I was in hostel for many years... and for some part I shared cupboard with a roommate.. altho I never wore hers but she did without any explicit permission... it never angered me."

Answer to your question is NO..i dont have much problem if its my sister or my mom or any other cousin but i dont share gud relation with my mil..she has always done many wrong things against me ..i didnt have much problem in giving if she had asked me but without asking and then not even admitting it to me ever is something that i really dont appreciate.,these are basic etiquetes which one should possess what i feel !And moreover as u r telling that u shared ur stuff with ur friends/roomates then they must be close enough to u..sharing with someone who is close and someone whom u just don't like personally are two different things ..