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Mil And Her Mood Swings

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by sweetumrn, Sep 10, 2019.

  1. sweetumrn

    sweetumrn Senior IL'ite

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    SIL also trying from her end to change MIL from ages but no change... at times it really feels bad seeing her doing all the work.
     
  2. sweetumrn

    sweetumrn Senior IL'ite

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    Thanks Ashneys, your advise is like my lost sister if she was here alive i know this will be her way of making me understand.
     
  3. sweetumrn

    sweetumrn Senior IL'ite

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    I agree and will try to spend more time after office hours. Thank you DDream.
     
  4. Janakinarne

    Janakinarne Silver IL'ite

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    Oho so sry ,i didn't read ur line clearly,sry for my mistake,anyway I have my personal rxp with my parents they live in village and when we asked them to accompany us here they will say they can't live here even though they have lot of health complications Al's, main thing is they can't adjust with us at this age and still now they lived there life as they like and now they think they want to live under our control,and after 50yrs some women/men develop some insecurity feelings that they are not getting respect properly,but it's just for some days only,later they will be back,wait for some more days , don't loose ur patience , ofcource it's difficult to u as a job holder but ur mil is good in everything so I think u can give her a chance,
    Ya by doing video call u als feels relax...
     
  5. dhivyacc

    dhivyacc Silver IL'ite

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    I would like to see your MIL.
     
  6. dhivyacc

    dhivyacc Silver IL'ite

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    In these days , getting this kind of persons is really tough.
    But over doing anything will create more mess only.

    After some age ,we cant change them, what we can do is Accept the people as they are. -- Highly needed to maintain our peace of mind

    Get some things such as snacks while you are coming back , Green peas ( really it will eat 1 hr time to clean it and they will enjoy).

    get things to Prepare nice masalas and powders ( dont scold me please) it will occupy their time
    Nice papads and muruku and all they can prepare if they are from village - Its a nice treat for ur baby to have it. you can pack something to your office and enjoy.

    Arrange some get together's with your friends at home - in this way, they will meet new people, since she is also contributing - you can call for a pot luck and you also spend some time .

    get some toys , and give them while you leave to office in the morning - it will help your child to explore and elders to teach the child

    I hope at least one point will be useful.

    These are things i missed too.

    if my mil or fil comes -they will complain (constantly) about my children, will sit in sofa and read for 24 hours at a stretch. if i prepare and ask them to eat , they will say they are not feeling hungry.
     
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2019
  7. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Op....if your husband says she has always been like this..then listen to him.

    She looks overworked.If she is not ready to delegate work ,then help out without coming in the way.

    Keep a maid for big jobs ,let her cook.
    You can wash the veggies etc for her and keep.
    Make sure some one cleans up after she is done cooking .

    Tell everyone in the house to take care of their stuff as much as possible. Put things in place and keep the house orderly before you go to sleep at night.

    Try to find the work she enjoys and the work that she just does becase she feels she has to do.
    Stuff like laundry and folding clothes etc can be done before she gets to them .

    As for child....unless you suspect abuse, I would not advice on the camera . If people find out,it will be very difficult to explain.

    Instead, keep a nanny for mil to supervise. Tell her she looks tired and you need her to just superwise the nanny. If she objects,tell her it is only for sometime till she gets back her energy.
    If she is likes having the nanny she will not ask you to stop.

    You can also help by finishing off most baby chores like bathing ,feeding etc before you leave and take over again once you come back. Make your husband and active participant .

    If she likes tea or coffee....make her that once or twice and enjoy it with her. Tell her to sit down and enjoy the tea/ coffee. Nothing refreshes like tea made by someone else .
     
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2019

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