"Dad" "Yes Lucifer" "I have a question" |Oh, quesrions! Why can't you accept things without qwuestioning? Well shoot" "Why did you plant the apple tree in the garden if you don't want the two idiots t to eat the fruit?|" "RESPECT Lucifer!" Don't you know I made the man in my own image? I forbade them to eat it because I want them, to ear it"' "Then simply go ahead and tell them to eat it?" "Lucifer, don't you know God moves in mysterious ways? If they eat it now they disobey me and I will be able to punish them with their fall" "But why?" "Question again!! It is because things are so boring in the garden. Lions and tigers are eating grass! They are not killing anybody. Do you think I creted them to be vegetarians?" "And if they go forth and multiply as I oprdered them, we would have a population explosion so we need death and hence the fall" "Then what?" "Then I will be born as my own son to a virgin and I will ensure that as my son I get crucified so that the mankind gets redeemed" "Will thy get reedeemed" |Not really but at least they will celebrate my birthday or pagan fertility festival that they will hijack to claim it is my birthday. Too bad intellectual property rights will come into effect nearly two millennia after that. "Ah, I see thy will remember yout then , right?" "Not at all. My brthday will be all about a little fat guy in a red suit who is not me and who is supposed to bring gifts" " Will he bring gifts?" "Nope I am just giving parents a chnce to con kids to keep them on a leash by bribing them and to enable giftmakers to laugh all th way to the bank" "This is all super crazy!" "LUCIFER!!!! How dare you question my desifgns. Go to hell. ! But before that do me a favour, will you? Make sure the two idiots eat the apple. No it won't keep the doctors away but will bring them into being along with lawyers"