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Men Pamper More When Sterile

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by sunkan, Jun 3, 2007.

  1. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    MEN PAMPER WOMAN MORE WHEN THEY REALISE THEY CANNOT BEGET A CHILD:
    Raman’s been married for more than 12 yrs but his wife malliga always gets the creamy things of life, she cannot mix with all, may be due to her incompetence in begetting a child, though the major portion of the entire family were putting up with all her tantrums and wondered why raman could be so silent, on all her issues, he always backed her, and even raman’s mother was very subtle where she was concerned. Only raman knew he was at fault and not malliga but did not want to reveal this to anyone..

    Now malliga seems to rule the roost in her house, though they were a joint family and the other brothers and sisters all had children, for some reason she was unable to either consider them her own or show any interest towards the children, if approached she helped out what she could but other wise never concerned. She has taken up the puja in the house as if the all the temples have authorized her to follow all the rituals. Madi and acharam all to the hilt, some one felt she is exorcising her thoughts of guilt, though knowing it was not her fault.

    But nagamani is a different case she just finished her 60<SUP>th</SUP> wedding anniversary and each time I see them together they have never felt not having child as a very great dent in their married life, on contrary seem to have taken it is stride, to let things fall into place. He very affectionate and being a retired bank officer has given her all her luxuries needed, a very contented life they led. She is an incarnation of a great manni in the house, all took help when needed and shared their joy, even the children expected her to grant all their wishes and so on.

    We also had a widowed aunt who pampered my brother to the core, used to take care of all of us here, my uncle died just within 2yrs of marriage and they married very late she was some 35 or so when he died and he 40. She also helped us during the delivery of our children, so some woman blend themselves, enjoy carrying other babies and heal from inside, but some become more childish always wanting the husband to take care of their so many innumerable needs.

    When young the fear of getting rejected is very high in men and woman, may be the wife he loved so much may leave him because they cannot have a child and vice versa, and the same feeling later on takes different turn, the man turns jealous and sometime make her life too miserable, and I feel adoption Is a great remedy for all the above mentioned problems and people are already having a lot of change in this sector, what with MNC timings and pollution the sterility level in becoming higher by the day.

    In all these cases one thing was very prominent, men pampered them more out of guilt and sometime cried out and broken about this fact that they were unable to father a child,
    Here I can only say may god help them and give them the idea to go in for an adoption and many things will change from their inner factor of physical and mental well being.
    The stifled attitude can take a back seat and stop her from becoming more a moron.
    Regards, sunkan
     
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  2. sujathae

    sujathae Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Madam, Very interesting and vital topic. It takes many years for a man or woman to console themselves if they cannot have child. It is also the people who are around them who torture them to the maximum by their words. They donot understand how painful it is and how much it hurts when their inability is pinpointed all the time. Some couples prefer to stay aloof, away from their kith and kin. Some really take the problem in their stride, try to forget it and find joy in helping the needy and taking care of other's children. They should have a lot of magnamity to adopt a child and bring it up as their own. Some adopt the children and keep telling them that they adopted them and don't treat them as their own children and this makes the child's life miserable. Nowadays with the high rate of infertility everywhere in the world, people should come forward to adopt a child and shower their love and affection on the orphan children.

    Thanks and regards
    sujatha
     
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2007
  3. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    dear sujatha,
    i very much appreciate ur point and hope the couples who face this do not take to the extreme step of becoming aloof rather more children should get loving homes and the point is never keep mentioning they are adopted and been gifted life, never wither a budding child...regards sunkan
     
  4. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    dear sunkan

    not having a child of your own,the couple like my wife and self have never felt it. In the beginnign of our married life it was found that i was lacking in reproduction capacity,but god helped us in another way. i had my cousine staying with me who maried my wife"s sister and they had four children,and all of them to this day consider us as their real parents.We have been living together all these years and when the first child was born in 1968 we were in calcutta and the child Vijailakshmi was so clolse to us that all people thought that she is our daughter. Now she is settled in Muscat with two of her own kids.The second daughter seetalakshmi was born in 1972 and the third one,Subbu, was born in 1974,and the fourth one a girl chandra in 1976. All are married and we are a happy family living togerther in Chennai. Unfortunately my cousin passed away IN 1984,AND OUR BOND WITH THE KIDS SINCE HIS DEMISE ADDED MORE AND MORE STRENGTH. So my wife and self have never felt the need for our own child in our life. The kids are taking care of us,to such an extend that some time I won der if we had our own children,whether they would have looked after us as our foster children.
    e balki subramani/kerala tam bram catering a very encouraging reply....
    brought to u by sunkan
     

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