Men --- how do you really feel about marrying a woman who was already married

I feel terrible for you.You are a victim of circumstances which was in no way your fault!

What is virginity anyways?Not just physical but emotional too. You thought he was a good man and you shared physical intimacy with him.Turns out he was bad.

If you ask me you are still a pure woman.
There are lot of people who are acting as sati-savithris and having affairs behind the spouse's back.You are a good woman and in every way a virgin.

 

Hi ChennaiExpress,



Well, you need to understand few things

1. It was not your mistake that you got married to a person, who never deserved you. He used you physically and emotionally. So, whatever it is, you are innocent.

2. The person you'll get married to now should understand and accept your past. If he really wants to marry you, he will have to accept you as you're. When you marry someone, there's alot more to it than the mere fact of virginity. A genuine person will analyse you on your qualities, on many different positive and negative personailty traits of yours, than on your virginity.

3. Any genuine adult person nowadays is mature enough to realize, understand and accept that the person he's going to get married to must have had been in a relationship before. I am saying this because, technically speaking, nowadays you would hardly find anybody not involved in a relationship before. Considering your case of re-marriage, there are even less chances of finding a fresh match. So, anyhow your would be must also have been in a relationship before and won't himself be a virgin.

Also, you're highly mistaken to think that you are no more pure or you no longer carry that gift of virginity. Your gift as woman doesn't lie in your virginity, it lies in the person you are, the heart you posses, the feelings you contain, the responsibilities you carry, the respect and dignity you hold.

Virginity hardly hold any importance today, atleast not more than your individuality.

So until and unless you respect yourself and stop considering yourself impure, you simply cannot make others accept you.

So stop worrying about your virginity. You're going to get married again, try to concentrate on other relevant details and find a partner who understands you better. Life's giving you a chance to reshape it, make the best use of it.

 

Honey, it was an accident! Virginity is a gift we give to our loved ones, true. But when you gave, you did it wholeheartedly and he was the one who cheated on you! Now who do you think is the accused? Also, virginity is not something only for women, it applies to men too. So the one you marry may or may not be a virgin. But always remember, marriage is not about giving and taking virginity. It lies in the mutual trust and love and understanding. My aunt and uncle had both had their first marriage failed. But GOD has been so kind to them and they ended up finding each other, the happiest couple! I still find love in their wrinkles. May be GOD has made you go through this to gift you with the best one and that he wants you to appreciate it! I am sure you would. Life does not ends up with this petty thing, but lies beyond that. IF you meet a guy who is obsessed with this virginity thing, make him understand that life is much more than that, or give a second thought on marrying him.

Remember you are still pure!! A woman of high values can never be impure. You have stood for you and for your life and have fought bravely. Virginity and purity are different. A girl, in my opinion is called impure if she leads a in-disciplined life. She cannot be pure. But you are pure. You did not visit any man like your ex did! You did not get derailed. That way you are 100% pure and I bet on it! Dont confuse on petty things. Now focus on your life and find a good man. Before that, love yourself a lot and do transform into that little girl your parents brought up! Good days ahead! Very good luck!

 

You are a good person. You are not sullied. Your father is one generation senior (read old), hence his thoughts are also one generation old. So, needn't worry on that front.

Take your time before you make the final choice. Don't rush into any decision even if someone looks, sounds or appears to be genuine. I think you are a US citizen and your would-be will be automatically entitled to a GC, so it's best you remember this and not sponsor anyone for GC. Which means you must get married to someone already working in the US or one who has the ability to get H1B, GC or whatever on his own or one who never plans to be in US i.e is well-settled in India. At least you will know that you are not being exploited because of this reason.

 

Hi, dear you are very good at heart ! Other than virginity there are million things you could give to your future husband. So don't worry about this thing. Look for a good person take some time before you choose somebody.

 

Fine !

Not able to understand, where did you learn the above Value in USA ?:spin

Why would some one born and brought up in USA want to come and settle in India. ?? Really not able to understand !! thinkingsmiley What makes you think India a lovable place on planet, even after knowing that Indian men can turn into xxxholes, after marriage ! (you have seen one !

Those who are born and brought up in India, having gone to USA for a few years may think so.

 

Even with all the negative sentiments in the forum, we must be not this harsh on ourselves.