Medical Record Blunders # The skin was moist and dry. # Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid. (Long fingers?) # The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. # She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce. # Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant. # The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed. # The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. # The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately. # Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. # I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy. # The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week. # Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles. # Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. (Excuse me, what are you doing with that pen light?) # She is numb from her toes down. # Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot. (Anatomy review time!) # While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home. # The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead. (An empowered patient.) # The patient suffers from occasional, constant, infrequent headaches. #
