1. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  2. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Mathematics

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Reenae, Jan 21, 2008.

  1. Reenae

    Reenae Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    186
    Likes Received:
    14
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
    Smart man + smart woman = romance
    Smart man + dumb woman = affair
    Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
    Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

    OFFICE ARITHMETIC
    Smart boss + smart employee = profit
    Smart boss + dumb employee = production
    Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
    Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

    SHOPPING MATHS
    A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
    A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

    GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband
    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

    HAPPINESS
    To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
    To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

    LONGEVITY
    Married men live longer than single men, but
    married men are a lot more willing to die.

    MEMORY
    Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

    APPEARANCE
    Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
    Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

    PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

    DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
    A woman has the last word in any argument.
    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

    COMPREHENSION
    There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.

    HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
    Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings,
    poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
    They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
     
    Loading...

Share This Page