Married with Separate Bank Accounts

I was just skimming though some posts such as this one and another one, and notice that several marital issues arise because of money.

Even though the wife is well-educated, perhaps earning more than her husband, if the husband get control of all the earnings, he gets control of the marriage.

On the other hand, I've noticed that in USA, in several instances the wife controls the money, banking, etc, and she has control of the marriage. Perhaps that is why they are practically treated like Queens, while wives in India (or of Indian heritage) are treated like doormats.

Seems that the person who holds the purse holds the power.

It's not enough to have good education, good salary, good looks, good manners - the wife must also understand money and have her own bank account. Separate from her husband.

I know a lady I worked with who had more education, more salary than her husband, yet was less attractive, overweight, and was ill-mannered; but, she controlled the money. She purchased their house, dealt with the lawyers and realtors. She manages the bank account.

And what does her husband do? He goes to the gym to keep physically fit. He is also working on a professional degree. And, he always gives his wife flowers and sweets for their anniversary, Valentine's day, mother's day, any day, (which she shows the rest of the office). He looks for an excuse to sweeten her with flowers and sweets, lest she use her sharp tongue.

I know another lady who is 10 years older than her husband, less attractive than him, earns less than him, but knows how to control the family finances. She cooks, he cleans. She is a sweet lady, and is sweet to her husband. However, I am yet to hear about her husband causing her ill.

Another married couple are equal in earnings, looks, education, and have their own, separate bank account. They have two bright children, and go on trips everywhere. They appear to be content with their lives.

This is my observation on marital dynamics.

If you excuse me, I have to balance my checkbook...

 

That is definately the best. Perhaps this is "Marriage made in Heaven", because love is what bonds two people, rather than one spouce being intimidated by other because they have control of the Roti Kapda Aur Makaan (English translation: food, clothes, and shelter).

 

I totally agree, one person should not have absolute control of another.

It's interesting; in USA, there is a radio talk-show host named Dr. Laura who sides with husbands because in USA, a considerable number of wives controll the family finances. If someone ever wants a divorce, the soon-to-be ex-wife usually gets custody of the kids, and half of the husband's property.

Marriage should be a 50-50 partnership where both sides respect each other, and will stand by each other. From this respect and dedication, love is born.