married life is not happy now

You have to be patient Maria..dont try to do something hasty to try to fix the situation.GIVE IT TIME.TIME HEALS...you cannot ask him to start a family now..Wait and just Pray.Things will be fine eventually.

 

Am sorry but I genuinely dont understand your post. What are you trying to find out here?

A. I'm sad? (well, no one can answer that for sure except yourself. This is just an Internet forum and I don't think anyone can see you to judge whether you are sad. Again sadness has different definitions)
B. dh birthday is coming up shortly (you'd like to know ideas, gifts for the birthday? Well, then I guess you must put the question directly. You'll get loads of ideas here)
C. Baby..how can I do (no, I don't think you can do it when you sleep on the bed and he sleeps on the floor).

Am honestly bored by the monotonous responses all posters give indicating how excellent your h is, and how you must handle him with patience. It doesn't seem like these responses are helping you at all.

Why don't you ask some direct questions like above? Am sure you'll see better results.

 

Lady, reality check!

You have lied/purposefully hid your past, your H comes to know of it through your ex, after years of marriage (yes, its the past, and its over, but it sure needs atleast a 'passing mention', IMO) Gets your pictures from the hands of a psycho-ex, who blackmails you, is nice to your family putting all these things behind, and wants some space and time to get over all this crap! Please, do him that favor, and give him that time. Only he gets to decide how long that time can be - 1 month, or 1 week or whatever! And please give him a break!!

The current relationship with your H, is a phase. If your parents ask you to plan for a baby, you dont have to plan today, and deliver a baby 10 months from now. And please dont plan for a baby, according to when your parents want you to. I remember an earlier post of yours, where you and H were thinking about it, so once when things get better, talk to him about it and take it from there.

All the posters here have been telling you that, be patient, and let him take his time to recover!


PS : How many ever times you post here, you are going to get the same reply from posters asking you remain patient. So maybe some yoga/meditation may help. Consider that.

 

You don't seem to feel sorry for what your husband has to go through. I doubt that you really regret for what you have done when you claim you get annoyed with him that he has to remind you not to raise your voice and you dare to challenge him that you will leave the house if he remains silent. I can only think of one thing, you simply don't deserve this gentleman.

 

Maria dear,

Don't feel that way. This guy is proving over and over that he is an idiot and a scum bag of the lowest kind.
If you know details of his residence or anything else, lodge a complaint against him. At least threaten him saying you'll do so. As for telling your husband, I feel you should first lodge the complaint and then keep him informed.

 

Maria,
Your ex is setting up a trap for himself! saves you a lotta work. Discuss with your H that you want to take this guy to task. Apparently your H setting him right wasnt enough. Use an ID caller at home for your landline, and track his numbers. Take it to a women's cell, and lodge a complaint against him, with his numbers and if you can even record the conversations and give them to the cops. As long as your H is with you (which he is), you have nothing to worry. If you or your H is worried about what parents might think if they come to know of it, just tell them its some nuisance call that you have been getting off late, and thats why you want to do something about it.

 

That is a good plan SSC.
Actually you can request the phone line provider to activate the call recording facility and number recording facility for security reasons at the cost of a small fee. I am pretty sure that facility is available with BSNL.
You could call or even visit the provider's office and get more information on it.

 

Maria,

I think it is high time you stop being the victim and start doing something to bring your ex down. If you have a smartphone, download a voice recording app...start recording the next time he calls you. Do not delete any e-mails or smses that he sends. If your landline has a speaker phone, switch it on and record those calls too.

Do this until you have a couple of voice recordings. Tell your husband that you want to take action against him and you need his help and support. Contact the cyber crime department or local police to file a complaint against this guy, backed by the recordings you have. There is actually a separate division that handles these kind of harassment over the phone and through Internet. Let the police handle it. I think this is getting way out of hand and you may not be able to sit on this for too long.

NOTE: The police will want to know background details. Be honest with them and let them know that you don't want any of it to be made public or shared with others as your married life is at stake. They will understand and co-operate. Of course, you should get your hubby to support you through this...I have a gut feeling that he will come around and help you out! So stop giving yourself a pity party...instead focus on how you can bring this creep down. Good luck.

 

Dear Maria,

I think CJ is rite....U need to do something abt it....Even I am damn sure that DH will support u in this...First of all I would suggest is that u speak to ur DH, try try talkin to him untill he finally does, try to pacify him in some way or the other....

Secondly, tell him everythin that your ex is doin....he should know everythin, ask him for his support, I am sure once he knows how much he is tryin to shatter u, he(dh) will understand....

Also, if possible share everything of ur past(reagrding ur ex) with ur DH....Mayb ur ex has told him thingsb which are untrue just to make ur life miserable....

Hope this helps and u find a solution so, but come what may do not stop tryin to pacify ur DH....I am sure he will understand ur situation, if he really cares for u....

Good Luck and God Bless...!!! Stay strong and dont worry theres one above...!!!