Married life became a hell!!!!Should I cope up with it?

Leave the psycho NOW.

Dont be scared, your parents are there. True friends will stand by you. You will be happy and peaceful. He is not going to change and if 6 months can bring so much pain, imagine a life time with this man.

Run for your life, he is psychotic.

 

I know how you were troubled with your miscarriage. But that was indeed a blessing in disguise to you, really. Don't get me wrong. Don't mean to offend you. If you had a baby then you would at least be thinking of sticking on with this guy life long.

Take a bold decision. You need a better life. Take the help of your parents and apply for divorce. A friend of mine went through the EXACT situation like yours (She realized that he was a psyco in 10 days of marriage). She divorced him and now she is happily married to another guy and has a beautiful baby.

So don't think the future ahead is dark. It might just be a temporary darkness. Do you think you can lead a happy life through-out your entire life putting up with a person like this.. Please think Suman.

My HUGS to you dear. Please stand UP and take a wise decision that is good for YOU.

 

How was he before marraige? Did you guys talk about your future before marraige? Was he ok with you working?

I am sorry to hear about your miscarraige, but it may be a blessing in disguise. If he doesn't use protection, you please do. It is not good to have a baby as it will complicate issues further. Some elders usually say that once you have a child, everything will be normal. But it won't always be, and you will feel even more depressed as you want to be together for the child.

What does your in-laws say? Do they tolerate this behavior? Are they also of the doubting kind? Does you husband want you to quit job and stay home?

Regarding separation and divorce, if his treatment is very cruel, there is no need to live together with him. You may hear some words about you once in a while, but ignore that. Instead, do you want to hear abuse every day? These days, divorce isn't looked at so badly, especially in a big city like Bangalore. I know that in conservative families, relatives usually talk about divorce, but it is upto you to convince your family.

Also, purchase a voice recorder if possible, and record his abuse without him knowing about it. May help you later on, who knows!

Go to your parents house for some time first !!

 

Please leave him ASAP. You do not deserve to live in that hell. And do not worry about what people will say after divorce. Personally I have seen many people from orthodox backgrounds divorcing and I have not seen many people pointing fingers at them. Divorce has become much more acceptable now. What I dont understand is how come for such a capable girl you are putting up with this nonsense? Please get out.

 

Dear Suman,

I think your husband is a psycho. He needs a doctor not a wife.

Please inform your family and friends about his illness and your day to day sufferings very clearly. They all know who you are, so they will not doubt your behaviour, instead will support you.

At the same time, who is the society? I think the society is your family, relatives, neighbors and friends/colleagues isn't it?
If they are well aware about your situation and your husband's psychological problems, then why should they accuse you for divorcing him?

Well, if the society really wants to see you in trouble with a psycho even after knowing your case very well, then it is not your problem. They are being selfish.. So, leave them.
Btw, did this society help you or console you during all these suffering? Then why do you still want to consider them?

If you continue to stay in this marriage for the sake of this society, one day you will end up in depression. That time you WILL be in need of someone to talk to or to vent out all your frustrations, but the same society WILL brand you as a depression patient or a psycho/mental case, and then leave you alone. Because for everyone, their life is the first priority.. No one will come and sit with you to listen to your frustration when you really need them.

At that time, you can not say... Hey people... See, I have put up everything with this psycho, and continued to live with him because of you guys, so you need to support me as I have become as a depression patient because of my troubles...No.. They won't care whether you are feeling ok or not...

I don't think your DH is behaving normal.. I ask you this not because your are physically and emotionally abused, not because your DH forces you to leave the job.. These things can be fixed sooner or later.. But his psychological problem, and suspicion on you is a cronic thing, which is RED FLAG to your marriage life.

Inform your parents, siblings and your best friends about this... Concentrate on your career. You are still young, and your time is yet to come.

It is better to leave him and live in peace than suffering like this forever. If not NOW, it will NEVER!!!

 

Its very clear...he wants to get rid of you. Please don't be a dog Suman. Don't ruin your life.

 

It is your mistake to have gone with him. Either muster courage and file for a divorce or you have live in that hell. You cannot change him, he's abusive and a psycho. The moment police start interfering in your family, family is lost.

You say you are client facing, extremely enterprising. I am sorry to say this, any amount of official accolades are worthless when we are unable to decide on our personal life.

I'm sorry if I am rude. You can tweak the forum to know my experience. It is time you file for a divorce and get out of the hell. Only you can save yourself. We are here only virtually to listen to your rant, but only you can save yourself.

 

Suman,
Are u for real? You asked whether you should cope and everyone said no.
it seems you have already made up your mind to cope.