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Marriage is not mandatory, staying single is better than getting married-and-being-un

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Ragini25, Dec 1, 2012.

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  1. Dec 1, 2012 #1
    Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    Marriage is not mandatory, get married to the right person if you really think that you cannot be without that person and if it will make you happy. Then, its a win-win situation. This applies to both genders.

    Else, staying single is better than getting married-and-being-unhappy. (At least until you find your right Mr or Mrs Partner)

    Is this even something worth debating? :) Or do we agree and move on? :)

    Why is it even considered "mandatory"? :coffee
    The worst thing you want to do is think of marriage being compulsory and has to by-the-powers-of-Derillla need to happen by age 25, 26, 27, 28, 29,...clock tick-tock-tick-tock and as if some bomb gonna explode.

    You do need to be able to stand on your own legs, because otherwise there may be (in some cases) enormous pressure to stop requiring financial support from aged parents, siblings or whoever until you can make the right choices for you in life.
     
    Ragini25, Dec 1, 2012
    Ragini25, Dec 1, 2012
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    9 people like this.
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  2. Dec 1, 2012 #2
    indianguy2010

    indianguy2010 IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Marriage is not mandatory, staying single is better than getting married-and-bein

    Do you have any idea how many Indian women choose to remain single in reality, despite all social taboos attached to a woman's single status? Any guess Ragini?
     
    indianguy2010, Dec 1, 2012
    indianguy2010, Dec 1, 2012
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  3. Dec 1, 2012 #3
    Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: Marriage is not mandatory, staying single is better than getting married-and-bein

    ^ The question is not a statistical one, and it is not about percentages.
    Talking about the way to move forward.
     
    Ragini25, Dec 1, 2012
    Ragini25, Dec 1, 2012
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  4. Dec 1, 2012 #4
    nandita24

    nandita24 Gold IL'ite

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    Re: Marriage is not mandatory, staying single is better than getting married-and-bein

    Ragini, I will agree with you if ours is a free society - maybe it should be even a shade better than the West - but it is rather impractical in a patriarchal mindset in which we are brought up here in India. Financial support alone is not sufficient. We need a lot more on the emotional and physical plane which can be experienced by the unmarried (and could be even more fulfilling than being married) only in a free society.

    Nandita
     
    nandita24, Dec 1, 2012
    nandita24, Dec 1, 2012
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  5. Dec 1, 2012 #5
    rose8282

    rose8282 Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: Marriage is not mandatory, staying single is better than getting married-and-bein

    Cannot agree more, Nandita. Its not only about financial dependance. We need someone who is with us always. In this journey towards death,many passengers take the train and leave it at some point of our lives..but a spouse stays with you just like they say -''until death do us part''. Its unfortunate that it doesnt work out happily always for everybody. But you need to test the waters to find out!
     
    rose8282, Dec 1, 2012
    rose8282, Dec 1, 2012
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  6. Dec 1, 2012 #6
    Vishnupradheep

    Vishnupradheep New IL'ite

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    Re: Marriage is not mandatory, staying single is better than getting married-and-bein

    I think u r not financially well or ur DH is not allowing u to go to work/ or towards ur AIM. I think u r in some pressure financially as I saw ur started threads from the 2G spectrum scam till this thread is all with money. As someone said in some other thread before, as u have some problem with married life its not meant that all married life or spouse are like that.

    Also I found that u r polluted by IL married forum..I think in ur life u have seen only un happy married women, ur bad luck, as only about may be 10000 people have problem in their married life ( who posted here or with ur friend's spouse problem) doesn't mean that u will have a problem with ur spouse. Have u ever searched for the thread having positive views on marriage ( For ur info happily married women are high in IL but not posting any threads because they have no problem) I have seen soo many posts, women saying that they are happily married and they can't live single moment with out their DH and also they told that they are bonded more to DH than their parents. I don't have any rights to interfere in ur Life but pls marry, I think that u will surely get ur good understandable soul mate :)
     
    Vishnupradheep, Dec 1, 2012
    Vishnupradheep, Dec 1, 2012
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  7. Dec 1, 2012 #7
    nemesis

    nemesis Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: Marriage is not mandatory, staying single is better than getting married-and-bein

    You actually never understood what she means!
     
    nemesis, Dec 1, 2012
    nemesis, Dec 1, 2012
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  8. Dec 1, 2012 #8
    Anitap

    Anitap IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Marriage is not mandatory, staying single is better than getting married-and-bein

    Recently reading threads in married forum is like watching thala's mangatha.... "money money money" :)
    So where are the vijay fans? (once I make a decision to marry / stay single, after that I will not listen to myself) :hide:
     
    Anitap, Dec 1, 2012
    Anitap, Dec 1, 2012
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  9. Dec 1, 2012 #9
    Anitap

    Anitap IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Marriage is not mandatory, staying single is better than getting married-and-bein

    Btw, happily married. worth the ride.:thumbsup
    Glad we both fastened the seatbelts during turbulent times.

    And op has a point.
     
    Anitap, Dec 1, 2012
    Anitap, Dec 1, 2012
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  10. Dec 1, 2012 #10
    Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: Marriage is not mandatory, staying single is better than getting married-and-bein

    Mr Genius Vishnup,
    I am financially independent, please don't worry about that :)
    And, no one needs to "allow" me to do things I do in life, LOL why do I need permission?
    And no I did not write this thread due to any problem :) But, I have seen people post as though marriage is mandatory, and hence wanted to write about it.

    I never wrote that marriage is bad. If anything I have disagreed with nandita on the 3-way, 4-way, n-way polyamory on many threads.

    Just that one should not "get hitched/married" because it is the "mandatory thing to do at age XX". If one finds the right partner, by all means take the plunge and enjoy the harmony :thumbsup

    Just don't do it because you are scared to be alone, or feeling pressure etc. Those are all the wrong reasons to rush into a lifelong commitment to a partner.
     
    Ragini25, Dec 1, 2012
    Ragini25, Dec 1, 2012
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