marking it with clouds!

bhagyachinu · Jun 22, 2012

Donned in felt,
I commune secretly with the blooming bush,
With feelings peculiarly my own.
Just this day, my hairs have begun to turn white:
Last year, the flowers looked redder than these.
Their tender beauty is going the way Of the morning dew,
Their fragrant breath is evaporating Into the evening breeze.
Why must we wait for their wilting
And falling before we can realize
The evanescence of life?
- Fa-yen

A friend of mine is staying with me for a couple of months. As children do, my son, likes her very much. So much so that these days he’s shifted his bed to her room. My mom, who takes care of him when he comes home from school till we reach from office, is upset and jealous that he is closer to her. I must say that the first day he said he’ll sleep with her, I tried to make him sleep in his usual place. But then I told myself, he’s just a kid and it’s better to leave him on his own. There is no point in troubling myself. After she leaves in a couple of weeks, he’ll resume his routine.

Afterwards, I thought about it and started laughing. My hubby asked me with concern why am I laughing suddenly (he always has his doubt that I’m a little off my onions). I told him about my reasoning of my son’s behavior and my logic that he’ll be back once she leaves. He asked me what is there to laugh about in that. So I told him the humour is in the assumption that I am permanent in this world. Just think about it. He has to move away some day or other. He might have to go away for studies, job and then he might get married…. I could die…. And here I’m thinking that once she goes he’ll come back to his routine

If we think deeply, what is there to worry about? Whether we like it or not, accept or not, we are here only for so many years. At some time or other we have to leave whatever we hold dear. I am not saying that we should not hold anything dear. What I’m saying is that why can’t I leave them when they go away? Why all this melodrama? We want whatever/whoever we hold dear to be near us. We don’t even want others to touch it or have it. Why this mentality of poverty? Most of my problems are because something comes to me (which I don’t want) or something goes away from me (which I want to stay). If we just allow things to come – and go – as they do, our problems can be more than halved.

Somebody told me recently that she is unhappy with her husband. The main reason is that she wants to be kept informed where he is each moment and he doesn’t. I asked her in what way it helps her? Just imagine… Why would I want to know where my husband was the whole day? Honestly, I believe ignorance is bliss many times. People. Things. we cannot hold on to anything. That is the universal law. Things come and things go in our universe. Come on, we are also coming and going in somebody else’s universe each day. How can we freeze one moment? It is not possible.

We can’t always hold on to one thing. Just imagine! We might miss out on something else. The trick is to hold and then release, hold and then release.

There is this mullah story. A man noticed Nasrudin digging a hole, and asked him about it. The reply was, “I buried something in this field last month, and I’ve been trying to find it all morning.”
“Well,” said the other, “did you have some kind of marking system for it.”
Nasrudin said, “Of course I did! When I was burying it, there was a cloud directly over it that cast a shadow—but now I can’t find that cloud, either!“

The more we open the grip, the more happy we will be. I would like to sign off with a quote from one of the characters in some book I read. “There’s troubles enough come in life, milady. No need to marry them”.

knot2share · Jun 22, 2012

Beautiful lesson for all of us. Possibly this is the most difficult trait to handle I think. The fact that we are all like the clouds in passing is a painful thought. Sometimes I feel that we become less humans if we let go. But.....I understand.

I have missed reading your blog for a very long time and the pieces of wisdom you share with all of us. You always remind me of a cousin of mine who lives here. Even a 'ha' from her/you, has a profound significance which I am able to see only after you explain. I am not sure if I will ever have such revelations in my life, but always open to listening.

AkilaMani · Jun 22, 2012

Dear Bagya,

How very true.... but so difficult to practice to hold and let go....

it is almost like a mantra i can practice to constantly remind myself to let go.

Thanks for this wonderful post dear!! Have a great weekend

Akila

shyamala1234 · Jun 22, 2012

Hi,

Live and let live and let go....it should be the attitude. We can be peaceful and people around us would be peaceful. I know it is difficult sometimes...but that should be the direction of our attitude.

Pallavi4me · Jun 22, 2012

I just cant express how happy I'm happy to read a post of yours.

I cant add anything to your posts, but just I admire reading your posts again and again.

Wonderfully written bhagyachinu.

Viswamitra · Jun 23, 2012

Dear Bhagya,

The word "Trustee" came from the word "Trust". We need to not only learn to trust that everything is happening in our life for a reason the way it happens, we need to act like a trustee of everything that is given to us in our life. Right from life, everything is given to us and we came in without having anything with us and we leave with nothing as well. So all sufferings are because we are trying to hold on to something when we are around. Once we understand the principle that one life is one of many lives we undergo, we will also understand our objective is to achieve desireless and unattached state of mind.

Viswa

InnerBliss · Jun 23, 2012

Deep thought!

Thanks for sharing "marking it with clouds". True, nothing is permanent. Change is the essence of life.

I enjoyed reading and learning your beautiful and thought provoking perspective on the trivial event with your son.

Keep sharing.
Love,
Anuradha

ShrutiB · Jul 31, 2012

Hi Bhagya,
Absolutely loved your 'marking it with clouds' entry. As a new mom, I was very possessive, confused even when it came to my baby boy being cajoled or even 'snatched' from my arms when he was crying by my DH and his parents. It used to anger me to no limit!!! Also, when he started growing a little older, he started going 'away' from me to his grandparents, refusing to come to me at times. I felt so deeply hurt and used. I told my in laws and husband that when my baby was crying and i was consoling him, that I did not like any of them intruding and behaving so insensitively. They took offense and well did heed to my declared request. I spoke to my mom and sister about this and they advised me instead to relax and leave the child to my in laws and husband. I was surprised. They said I needed that much time to myself. And they are my son's family too.
Believe me, it has taken me more than six months after that episode to come to a more sensible, detached mode. And now seeing my kiddo run in happiness when all of us are around makes me feel really happy.
It does take a village to raise a child.

ShrutiB · Jul 31, 2012

And hey, I think you are a big Mulla fan!
cheerio!

bhucat · Aug 5, 2012

Dear Bhagya, Yes your words "Ignorance is blissful" is 100 percent true. If we see woman in olden days ie., in our paatti's era, we can find these types of woman, where they blindly believe their husbands, not uttering a single word against husband, pateiently handling the problems etc. But i feel sometimes that is the best thing for happy life. Instead of arguing and quarelling with the people, just be patient and calm throughtout the life by understanding the inner meaning of life - "Nothing is permenant" in this world.