hi all, I am in strange situation.i got married almost 11 months back and nothing happened between us.I tried to understand her and was patient for all these days.Every time i tried to convince myself with hope that she would change one day.every time i tried to talk abt sex she talks abt goals and achievements etc etc. some times i get a feeling that may be she likes some one else.she talks like why dont we just like frnds blah blah.i am treating their parents well and also treating her well being friendly. Also i am totally frustrated with my sex life and thats effecting my work life as i am loosing self esteem.also now i am getting a feeling that there is nothing wrong in trying to get what is lost some where i know it not correct but waiting too long is making me to think other wise. i had to leave job in one of the psu banks middle level manager because she doesn't want to relocate to mumbai.so when i am leaving many things just because she dont like them why dont she understand what i am missing.in bed she talks abt swami vivekananda etc which makes me down like spiritual..... she allways talks abt goals in life and job,earning money but she never spoke abt our bed relation and what i want etc etc.....
is she too ambitious ?does she work? anyhow have you tried talking about this physical intimacy with her?sit and talk with her.tell her clearly what are your expectations from a wife and ask her views.this way you can understand better as to what she feels.
Ask her what marriage means to her , her views on family , kids should give you a hint. Go on a honeymoon, see romantic movies together. She is not behaving normally. Even ambitious people have normal married life , this is no excuse. She could be having a medical problem or a psychological one .
How is she otherwise? In terms of keeping relationships with her own parents, siblings, friends? It has been 11 months and you have not been able to speak to her regarding this? That means there is no closeness ever emotionally. You can ask and discuss about each other's goals in life. Since you mentioned ambitious, does she feel that haviing sex will lead to kids and thus affect her career? I feel its lack of awareness mixed with too much ambition is her problem. It s a tricky situation. If these things are not sorted out you may want to talk to her parents.