managing child birth alone in USA..guide me.

Discussion in 'Pregnancy & Labor' started by Rainbo, Sep 23, 2013.

  1. nuss

    nuss Platinum IL'ite

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    Shruthimanjunath, mine was also C-section. you'll be up and walking as soon as the drip is removed (day 2 of C-section) I made kheer (Paysam) for my boy's 6th day (a north Indian tradition) so, yeah, you will be walking within 2-3 days of C-section. More you walk and drink water, sooner you'll recover. About bottle feeding- it is up to you. If you stay at home, you can nap while baby is napping. I went back to work after 11 weeks, I had to give my baby a bottle (nanny had to give him bottle during day) but as long as he is with me I BF him (he is 11 months now). You will be amazed how much motherhood can change a person. I was a light sleeper but since I've my baby I can feed him and go right back to sleep.
    Good luck!
     
  2. shrutimanjunath

    shrutimanjunath Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks so much nuss for the info.
    did u had any pain after 2 days. i mean while sitting and walking. i know c section is after all a surgery but just asking your experience.


     
  3. simpleMom

    simpleMom Gold IL'ite

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    Exactly. OP, it is quite overwhelming and even depressing to take care of new born. But you will sail through it just fine.

    By the way, I do not intend to spread any misconceptions about weight loss, rate of C-sections etc. I just shared my observation. OP should not stop calling her parents because of her chances of having normal delivery and weight loss etc. Some couples, though have a choice of calling parents from India don't call because they believe that it is quite selfish to call them here. To each his/her own.....
     
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  4. Rainbo

    Rainbo Silver IL'ite

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    Thankyou all of you who took time to guide me...you all where great help..and gave some important info...
    I spoke to my mom today and told her I m planning not to call her here..she said she has no problem in coming..and her problems are nothing which I will have to face once baby is born in taking care and mental stress with physical pain as this initial time is very crucial for new born and new mom health....she is all set to come and exited to meet Me and LO and also she is worried that how my DH will manage so much (office,home,,new born, and me )...it will definatly be too much for him.
    but I told her give me some time let me do some reasearch..I think I will call her..may be she is right .
    Actually I have no support other than my hubby if my mom will not come...I know only 2 families here....I just cannot trust them .. I am not sure they will even ask if I need anything..forget about helping.
     
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2013
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  5. shrutimanjunath

    shrutimanjunath Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Rainbo,
    at the end, all that matters is your comfortability. if you really want to call, call her.
    If you are strong , then its fine.



     
  6. nuss

    nuss Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Shruthi,
    It is not a piece of cake but easier than I thought. I wasn't able to walk the first day when nurse tried but she was adamant and made me walk anyway. That actually helped, once I was over that fear I was able to walk slowly. Second day was much better. two of my stitches (staples) came undone and several times liquid from peritoneal cavity started oozing, I had to call my ob and he suggested to use a sanitary pad on my stitches. It was scary for me to see pink/red water coming out of stitches but nothing that worried my doc. Just need to take it slow and easy. I took shower everyday, ate regular meals and drank lot of water. At my 6 wks postpartum checkup my Ob was surprised to see me (I lost most of my pregnancy weight by then). I kept pretty active lifestyle (I didn't go for walks etc but walked around the house a lot).
    I haven't been around babies much and didn't even know how to change a diaper. Nurses showed me everything at the hospital and then it was trial and error :). My mom has been to US several times but those were vacations, she could have come but she is old and I didn't want her to work extra hard + I wanted to enjoy the time with my baby (it sounds a bit selfish) and also wanted my hubby to be able to bond with the newborn.
     
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  7. shrutimanjunath

    shrutimanjunath Platinum IL'ite

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    nuss,

    great to hear back from you.

    i heard from desi moms that we should be resting a lot post c section and normal deliveries.
    Do you think that is necessary?

    its great to know that walking helped you a lot to recover.

    liked this part-> <she is old and I didn't want her to work extra hard + I wanted to enjoy the time with my baby (it sounds a bit selfish) and also wanted my hubby to be able to bond with the newborn.>

    even im of the same mentality and not getting any help from home. i want my hubby to bond with the new born.

     
  8. hymavarun

    hymavarun Silver IL'ite

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    Hi
    My delivery was a sudden decision when i went for the 3 rd trimister ultrasound as my baby growth rate is dropping.i joined labor on the spot.they tried 2 days for normal delivery.but no use.on 3 rd day they did c section.i was in the labor room for a day and my baby was in special care.i cudnt see her for a day.
    I was on wheel chair until day 2 of my c section.then doc told me to walk.so i started walking slowly.and i dint feel any pain at all.bcos the nurse will give u pain meds.they will monitor you continuously.
    i tried to breast feed my baby and pumped the milk simultaniously.on 4 th day of my c section i was discharged.but my baby has to be in the special care for 18 days after delivery.this is the painfull part in my life.so i used cook in the morning and have lunch and my husband used to drop me at the hospital.i was taking pain meds , drinking plenty of water.eating fruits in the middle.and in the evening my hubby picked me from the hospital.that way i got plenty of rest and i recovered completely by the time my baby came home.
    for the food i had everything even yogurt from 3 rd of my delivery,even lentils too.everyone is different.try each food.if you see any fussiness in your baby,stop that food for some days and try again.if the baby is still the same avoid that food completely untill you stop breast feeding.it doesnt mean that they are allergic to that food but its too much for their little stomach.i wud suggest not to eat too much lemon like lemon rice and tamarind rice.no soy.EAT LESS SPICY.
    about bating the baby you must give sponge bath until umbelical cord is gone by its own.sponge bath is nothing but wiping with baby bath towel in warm water.the nurse will show you everything even its normal delivery or c section.as my baby was very small i gave her sponge bath untill i felt comfortable.
    the feedings we both shared the feedings.rest as much as you can and walk as much as you can ,drink plenty of water.
    hope i covered everything.dont worry about anything.leave everything on almighty.he will take care of you the same way he did to me.:)
     
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  9. Concordeelshad

    Concordeelshad New IL'ite

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    Hi

    HEre is my experience and this is what i have to say. I did it alone with my husband for my first baby and it was really stressful, I ended up wiht a c-section after a gruelling labor and found it difficult to manage alone.

    1. Even if your mother cannot do much, let her come - emotionally its a very testing time. Especially post-partum blues is real. howmuch ever you yell at your mom, she will not get offended. Also she will have suggestions and will morally help you.

    2. ask your husband to read about post partum blues, so they will be prepared mentally to deal with a sleep deprived, hormonally imbalanced new mother ( There is a reason why women are sent to mothers' home for delivery in india )

    3. get help, get help - this is NOT the time to be stingy and save pennies - for the first couple of months hire some help. I see you are in LA, hire some indian punjabi aunties to come and help you and your mother. They are good at massaging/bathing the baby, bathing you, cutting veggies, loading dishes, loading washing machine etc. You will be surprised how much work a teeny tiny baby comes with. Babies ARE a lot of work, so dont underestimate

    I wished I knew about this earlier. Good luck !
     
  10. CrayoNess

    CrayoNess Platinum IL'ite

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    Pregnancy and delivery is not a disease or sickness - it is part of normal life. If you have c-section it will take a little bit longer to recover but even then it is important that you walk, have light exercise etc from the beginning.

    It is of course a personal preference but I would feel very stressed and uncomfortable having someone in the house even if it would be my own mother. It is a very special time when you bring your firstborn home and those days I wanted to spend with my baby and husband.

    You are able from the start (except if there are any special health problem with you or the baby) all lighter housework. You should avoid lifting heavy stuff and strive to get enough of sleep. Have your dh to do the cleaning/part of the cooking/all heavy household chores. Cut also back on your targets regarding having a spotless home and gorgeous meals. For a few weeks do only the basic stuff.

    They will teach you in the hospital the basic (changing diapers, sponge bathing baby etc) and you will learn as you go. It is also very rewarding for the father to be able to bond with the baby, learn to bath and change clothes.
     
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