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Major Venting Alert!! Annoying Mil

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Aratimenen, Oct 26, 2016.

  1. Aratimenen

    Aratimenen New IL'ite

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    Hi All,
    I'm married for a year and staying with my in-laws.My MIL is very dominating.She decides everything at home.I never felt like a member of that family. I can't cook a single dish according to my choice.I can't wear clothes of my choice.Eventhough I earn she keeps an account of everything.Even if I shop I have to list everything in front of her. I can't go anywhere with my husband.She will also accompany.My husband is super attached with his Mom so he won't tell anything against her.On top of it I am blessed with an interfering SIL too..My MIL always compare me with my SIL and always praises her.My SIL is married still spend most of the time at our place.I am expected to do all the household chores from cleaning to doing dishes.I can't even keep a maid because MIL thinks it's an extra expense.Mother daughter duo makes my life hell.. Please suggest me how to stay calm.. I am dying day by day..
     
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  2. KashmirFlower

    KashmirFlower IL Hall of Fame

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          1. without asking permissions and explanations, keep doing what is needed for you. cook and serve all. if they dont appreciate cook and take as a box to office or eat with H.
            shop what is needed, if she asks tell you need it.
            save some salary for your own bank a/c. give some to mil as expenses sharing.

            get a maid and you pay, start only with dishes, later put same maid for cleaning also, if she is doing good work, this is not to test maid capability, but getting others used to maids work.
    it is her mom's house, and she can spend whatever time she wants.
     
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  3. coolgal123

    coolgal123 Platinum IL'ite

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    start preparing dishes according to your choice, if your MIL crib/gets angry/sulk/complain, let her.
    wear your choice of clothes, if your MIL crib/gets angry/sulk/complain, let her.
    you earn, stop giving accounting to her.if your MIL crib/gets angry/sulk/complain, let her.
    shop and refuse to give listing to her,if your MIL crib/gets angry/sulk/complain, let her.
    talk to your husband that you need some alone time with him, tell him that some times you can go with MIL but not all the time. If he takes her all the time out with you, refuse to go out with hubby.
    Let your mil praise your SIL to her heart content, why it effects you??. when she starts comparing you with SIL, leave the place.
    Hire the maid and if your MIL doesnt let the maid stay then assign some chores to her, you only do what your capacity allows. when chores will be left undone then either MIL has to do or she has to hire a maid.
     
  4. Aratimenen

    Aratimenen New IL'ite

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    Thanks for your advice!!
     
  5. Aratimenen

    Aratimenen New IL'ite

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    Thanks so much!!
     
  6. Cutie1991

    Cutie1991 Senior IL'ite

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    Same situation here. I tried ignoring them and doing what I feel is right and they complained to my H that I dont behave well with them.. Had to take a lecture from DH on how I should maintain my relationship with my ILs. :|
     

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