H and I had a fight, resulting in H telling me the next day to go back to India, let's separate. His reason was I was so stressed and depressed and frustrated and he's done with all the drama and unpleasantness. It was not said lightly or in a fit of anger, but thought out and measured and conveyed. It has been a rough year, and lots of issues, but we still managed to hold together until a recent fight made him go full on silent treatment, while I faced a major exam. It was painful, but I struggled on without showing it to him. Now this. I told him to inform my parents directly, and he went went forwards and backwards, and eventually refused to. Just caused pain for my family as well. I walked away, gave my kid lunch and slept off again in sheer exhaustion- two back to back days of fights, one whole night crying..took its toll. Woke up, came to kitchen, and the front door opened - he had ordered food for himself, not telling me nor asking me if I wanted anything to eat? (It was his honor code, no matter what he will not show it on food) Some gravy he had ordered was left on the table. As he had already conveyed that he wants to be separated, and that means he doesn't care about me no matter how much I wish otherwise.... I didn't let that ruffle me. I was tempted to order in myself - maybe I should have.. but went ahead with my coffee. At this point, I hadn't eaten anything since the previous afternoon, except for a bowl of cereal in the morning. I put the dishwasher, and made dinner gravy. Took care of my kid. At dinner time, I made dosas for my kid and myself, ate, and left. Did not put dosas for him, nor make a side dish for him at night - my usual task. I didn't feel it was wrong. But now I am having second thoughts. I have always been struggling with this concept. It has been my honour code as well that no matter what, I will not show it on food. But I have faced my share of silent treatment and months of misery, and this year for the first time, I did not cook for him after the last fight. For one evening. But then resumed. Maybe twice before, I have not cooked at all - not for him or me, when I had been sobbing away in misery. Is it fair to not cook for your spouse, when he has clearly conveyed he wants nothing to do with you? He hasn't taken away my access to his credit card, or told me he won't pay for my studies(yet). So at least until now, he is still financially supporting me. So am I wrong? Another part of me says I am not denying him food - unlike what he would be doing, if he denies me money. He can still cook, make his own from what we have at home etc or buy. Unlike my situation where I am dependent on him, financially too. (no I am not talking about making purchases and spending on myself here... but bare essentials, roti kapda makan, and exams...) Help me wrap my head around this confusing situation... I having trouble balancing my sense of self respect vs whatever duty I probly have, as long as I am 'married' to my spouse, however I-dont-care-about-you he is... (what are those said duties?) P.S: Sorry abt the long intro..