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Lost Husband. Move Closer To Family

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by Divya0331, Jan 28, 2021.

  1. Divya0331

    Divya0331 New IL'ite

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    Hello,

    Can someone chime in and provide their opinions/thoughts please.Unable to take a decision.

    I lost my husband in US. It has been 4 yrs. now and I stay alone in Delaware. I have no kids .Though I have many friends in Delaware, I cannot go to anyone's house when I am not well because I cannot give them trouble and you cannot walk to anyone's house. My friends are helpful but I should not cross a line and respect the relation and their privacy.

    My sister stays in New Jersey with her family (Sister, husband and kids). I have an option to move to New Jersey and stay somewhat close to her. I do not want to stay with them but may be take an apartment two or 3 blocks away from where they stay so that I have someone who I can reach out to when really in need and maintain a healthy boundary.

    BY staying in the same house, there may be some situations that arise which will hamper the relation with my sister so I want to stay somewhere close to their house but not really near.

    Please let me know what are the upsides and downsides you foresee if I move to where my sister stays? Relation with my sister has been good till now. We talk 2 to 3 times a week but never stayed close or near by so do not know how the relationship would turn in future. Any similar personal experiences? Pls. share which could help me in making up my mind.
     
    satchitananda likes this.
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  2. soulful

    soulful Platinum IL'ite

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    so sorry to hear about your husband!

    you are a very wise and very considerate person and are definitely thinking in th right direction. You want to maintain healthy boundaries and are very aware of the potential pitfalls. So you are half way there.

    Have you spoken to your sister and family, not directly, but just feel them out? see what they think? perhaps you could ask your mom, or common friend to hint at the possible arrangement (as if it is their idea, not your message) and see what your sister thinks?

    Sorry, I can't think of any more ideas, i am sure ladies here will be of definite help.

    May God give you strength.
     
  3. satchitananda

    satchitananda Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear OP,

    sorry to hear about your husband. I think your ideas are just perfect. The question is would your sister too maintain the line of privacy and appreciate you being there for each other in happy and difficult situations? It also depends on that. You too need your privacy just as much as your respect hers. It is maintaining a balance that requires tremendous skills. If that can be ensured, nothing like moving closer to her.
     
    KashmirFlower likes this.

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