long distance relationship with DH..Feeling frustrated:(

hi, either of you should move from their respective places and stay together as early as possible. that is good for you both.

 

Yes. I am going to be in your place soon and would be happy to do it.
Men are bound to say so even if they don't intend to follow their words in future.
Enjoy your singlehood while in marriage as much as you can.

Moving in with MIL etc can be draining unless she is a very nice MIL. Don't get biased about her too soon unless she has already shown her true colours to you. Even otherwise, I think most husbands are to blame, not the MILs, as they are just instruments, the agents of hurting are husbands.

 

am also in ur situation.....mine is worst than you.....we are meeting every week end....
my dh dont understand me and my loneliness..if i start talking about my pain he used to tell we are meeting every weekend right?then what else you what?:bang
nowadays i didnt tell tell any thing to him..even if he takes extra leave and he is there in home also i wont care i ll come to office..
but am feeling so low when i see a couple who enjoys their life...and am crying every time why it happens to me only...

 

I am in your situation OP...H is on long term assignment abroad...I had decided to come back and rejoin my job as he didnot give me enough time when I was staying... with him...he is not willing to compromise and come back to India...so the long distance arrangement is going on currently..

I also do not want to leave job just to stay with him and wait for his coming home whole day..it bores me really..
I keep myself engaged with my job, DD, hobbies, books and Indusladies of course...but mostly books help me going...I thank my late mother eternally for inculcating this habit in me...specially I need to keep my mood up while dealing with a calculating MIL on a daily basis...

I do not support long distance marriages...but strongly feel that women should not leave jobs just to go and stay with husbands who do not find time for them...both partners deserve equal importance in each other's lives after all

BTW we met after 3.5 months and he preferred to spend quality time with MIL..when we ventured for a small outing MIL threw a huge tantrum and H went back hurriedly to his momma's boy mode..I am pretty used to all this by now..hence donot bother much about us staying apart now..of course i feel bad...but have come out of the crying/worrying days and have learnt to spend quality time by myself..

 

OP..if this is effecting your health then try to find job at your husband's location or take a long leave and visit him for few months...Try interacting with friends/parents to come out of your loneliness..i agree that these things are very difficult and specially watching other couples creates a void feeling..but tell yourself that every one has a different pattern of life and it is no use comparing...you never know in what kind of boat others are sailing..Things are seeming tough at the moment but you will emerge a stronger person...

when my H took up this assignment, and without consulting me kept on extending his stay, i felt very cheated and taken for granted..it was as if I was of no importance at all...also, he used to ridicule my emotional dependence on him..the last thing hurt me the most..very slowly I distanced myself emotionally and learnt to engage my mind without depending overtly on him...i firmly believe that whatever someone will do for me should do it out of free will and not because I am getting weaker or pleading for it..that is highly insulting for me..i live by the simple rule now: importance received = importance given..