Living in US but no friends yet..

Akshata,
Please remember everyone have their own problems so no one judges you. If you ever come face to face with the people who judge you then they are not worthy of your friendship at all. :cheers
Life is short make it useful is my mantra. :thumbsup
Where are you from? btw. Just asking because if you live in a place like NJ or NY where there is large Indian community temple is a nice place to make friends.

 

hi akshatha,

have u moved to naperville from your previous place????? did the second chicago meet happen in august???? i had been to India so could not visit the forum for a while....

 

Hi...

Every one with a new born is surrounded by tonnes of work load.. That is absolutely normal... Do you worry that if you keep in touch with them then you would have invite them to your house and that they will judge you??? Then I would say you are wrong.... If a person has gone through your situation, then they would definitely not judge you... and if the person has not yet been there, Let them judge you now... They would eventually get there and later understand that they were BIG TALKERS!!!

Go out and have fun... Take time out of those chores.. then you would not feel this pressure inside you... Talk to people...

 

Akshatha

Are the friends/acquaitances you have...do they have kids? if they dont, did you ask them or take their phone# or give your phone# for them to call. There is nothing wrong in telling them in a funny way that because of the new born you are still trying to catch up with chores and it would be nice if they call sometimes when they are free or if they can drop in when they get time!

If they are also having kids, then it is great...you all can meet up during day time after the breakfast/lunch time is done...

Also, I guess you have to start managing time more efficiently as your kid is growing up, and also that they would love to go outdoors (and this being winter season..) it may not be possible to go outdoors and if you have people coming over to your house, the kids would also love to see new faces or new people to play with.It would also help in kids mental growth, instead of the TV shows/cartoons/ always seeing mom

They say , when there is a WILL there is a WAY...so if you realllly want friends, want to be around people, am sure you would figure out a way out of all this...because you are the best judge of what you can/cannot do...

 

Hey Akshata, hope you are doing well and your little one as well. How old is he now? I am sure he is keeping you busy. Akshata, first of all take out the thought that people will judge you - I am sure everyone has their draw backs. I know with a little one it is not easy but a little bit of organisation goes a long way - when my first one was small what helped me most was waking up an hour early and finishing with cooking and a little bit of cleaning, having weekends for laundry when hubby is around. Also asking hubby to take the kids out for a couple of hours on the weekends so that I can catch up on work. Try these!

As for socialising, play dates are a good way o have people over. If you are still hesitant, start off with inviting your husband's colleagues form work atleast once a month, then include other people and slowly your social circle will increase. Do take the initiative if calling back people - it will go a long way.

Hope this helps.

 

Hi Akshata,

I am in the same boat till 4 months back but now changed a lot. I have 13 month old daughter who keeps me busy all the time. I find only some time to call my mother or MIL. They are the only people I kept in contact. Rest of the friends, relatives I neglected. I found they felt bad and stopped calling me. Now, I am getting back to normal.

Work and maintaining relations are different. As there are kids in home there will be work always. But everybody needs some recreation. Just divide your work into parts. Kitchen work, baby`s work, home cleaning and organizing, washing and drying clothes, shopping. Set a day for each of these chores. After I divided my work to days (with baby`s work everyday) I got some time to make calls, study, watch TV and interact with people. When your baby naps during day time do some work. Also, you can go shopping with your friend(s). Prepare some food and send to your friend. That helps to continue relations. Plan in advance and plan little work a day. Start with one friend initially and that chain grows.

Sri