1. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  2. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Life means.......

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by suravees81, Oct 9, 2007.

  1. suravees81

    suravees81 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    34
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    George Carlin's Views on Aging

    Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old
    is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited
    about aging that you think in fractions.
    "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a
    half You're four and a half, going on five!
    That's the key.
    You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next
    number, or even a few ahead.
    "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're going
    to be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even
    the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
    But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad
    milk! . He TURNED; we had to throw him out There's no fun now, you're Just a
    sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
    You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40.
    Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you
    REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
    But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
    So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
    You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day
    thing; you HIT Wednesday!
    You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you
    TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.
    And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards;
    "I Was JUST 92."
    Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little
    kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
    May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
    HOW TO STAY YOUNG
    1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.
    Letthe doctors worry about them. That is why you pay " them "
    2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
    3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
    whatever. Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop."
    And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
    4. Enjoy the simple things.
    5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
    6. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes,
    music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
    7. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve
    it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
    8. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county;
    to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
    AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
    Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments
    that take our breath away.
    And if you don't send this to at least 8 people - who cares?
    But do share this with someone. We all need to live life to its fullest each day
     
    Loading...

Share This Page