Life is so unfair .... how to deal with it.

mlk2009 · Oct 13, 2009

Hi Chocolate,
Good idea, thats what I thought too, but instead of saying that I am going to separate the finances and stirring up another brawl, I told him that we can invest my whole salary in a IRA account which we can redeem after our retirement. This way he is satisfied that we have a lump savings and he has to spend for expense from his salary which will make him stop money to his over spending parents.

What u think ?

Priya16 · Oct 13, 2009

MLK,

Based on your situation,my mind is thinking like this.

Men are afraid of money and more insecure.Since you guys have some initial fight,so he would be saving his money at his parents place.
he might be thinking like in case of divorce,he doesn't have to give that money to you.Just an idea but I am not sure.

Beucase even in my case my husband is kind of insecure before the kids until my second kid and was acting little weird.(He has fears that if we have to regiter proprety on both names things like that).

Now thing have improved and now he confident that I will not go anywhere.It's funny but its true.

So in your situation,I am not sure does your husband has any insecurities or all the money which he send spend by your In-Laws?

Some can't understand and see the other person that's how there jeans are.

mlk2009 · Oct 13, 2009

Exactly Priya,
My husband is a little insecure since we have talked divorce in the past and he is scared I might strip him off all his money and leave him. I know in my mind I would never break this marriage and always try to save it but he is very insecure.
LIke u said, he gets property in his name or his parents. I dont interfere in it. SInce I know at end of the day, it will come to my son and thats what i want.
I am thinking about another kid so that he will trust me and discuss money matters with me too. Now a days I dont really fight if he sends money, I just tolerate it.
Hope he sees the changes in me.

Priya16 · Oct 13, 2009

As long money is not wasted don't worry much.You try to be happy,spend whatever you need to be and have a happy life.

My husband really changed after having daughters now he is looking though his daughters eyes and what would be like a women .

He has some crazy things but he really take care of his daughters.That's what I like him about most.

Sometime back her really thought moving back to india.Now he is thinking like,women have more rights and protection in USA than india ,he is thinking in terms of his daugthers.See that's how the father is.

So just have patience and tactic to deal these guys.

mlk2009 · Oct 13, 2009

Yeah Priya,
My husband was also thought of moving soon but now he is seeing how the quality of life is here and he is postponing it. I really wish could stay here till we retire and then move back to India.

I have left all the worries I had about money now, its no use fighting, they have to stop on their own. Now he is not as bad as he was before. So another kid would totally change him I feel.