Life Is Done. What Is Death?

Dear Boost,

A very poignont message..To think on these lines needs lot of maturity and clarity. We can all say death is moving from one home to the other but to practice the same is the millon dollar question.

Let me tell you one example, my father passed away in 2001 suddenly no one expected but the vaccum created by his passing away, nobody can fill that. I can always think quite intelligently that my father has gone from one home to other and those crap but personally I know how it hurts.. emotioally it is a tough time to handle. Think of my SIL how in the world can she ever think that all her children have left from one place to another... what was the kids work here which they finished so early in life? Even if my dd is late by an hour from school I am so worried that too when she comes through the local transport instead of the school bus. I will be waiting at the gate to see the familiar figure of my dd..if this is the case for a normal late arrival imagine when a child marks on the eternal journey..how it is for the mother who knows very well that he will never come back.. it is easy to think of all these with our super intelligence Sri but emotionally try to be in her shoes then we know where it pinches.

Agreed SHE is full of love but when an innocent suffers for no fault of theirs for a nano second we do have the doubt as to WHY is it so?

But personally whatever you say is correct like as an individual if I die the next moment then I should not grieve of the same..there is nothing wrong in thinking about death like Rumi says but the people around us should also raise to a higher platform to think like this. Am I correct?

 

Dear Sridhar ji

Very nicely explained. Thanks a lot. Like Lalitha pointed out, its very easy to say that "death is moving from one home to other" but really very difficult to digest. But somehow, everybody has a mindset to digest the same.

Thanks a ton for sharing this.

 

Sridharji
A great one indeed. I am surely a person like many, who shudders at the word DEATH. Recently when I was unwell for a few days, I was worrying for no reason at all about my health. Hubby tried to talk me out of everything but I was stuck with them. He finally asked me " What is the worst that can happen, tell me? " I burst into tears and I said that I was not yet ready to leave him. I am sure I will find lot more people who think like me. What you have said about death is possibly right but I am yet to come to terms with it. But I loved the lesson and I need more of this to make me think further. I need to learn to accept it rathar than hide from it. I feel there is no complete contenment in life yet and always there is something more to do or achieve, which makes me not want to face death yet. Even when I write now, it sends a shiver down my spine.........

Thx for the blog!

 

Sridhar,
This is a topic i used to read alot. Having faced alot of problems in life, i have emerged very strong.
If you ask me i will always say iam ready to die, because i am looking forward for travelling in light.
But when i really faced death of my DH, yes i prayed that his soul be at peace, i kept praying" please leave & continue your journey, do not worry about us ".
When comes to facing the day to day life , the secured feeling is gone, i worry how to manage with limited finance. Suddenly you find something has gone out of you, i dread to go for social gathering.
I know for sure my DH's soul has moved out and another beginning is waiting for him. I suppose facing the physical aspect like life in the world is disturbed. My faith in God has not changed though i prayed fervently for my DH.
The knowledge of death helps to handle situation ie if knowledge can be applied in life it makes easy to face such situation.

It does not mean we won't grieve for our dear ones, but we move on and pray for the souls to continue the new beginning.
Hard to digest but is the truth. Accepting or denying it is in us.
Jaya

 

Dear Boost,

I am not sure wether you cleared my doubt or confused me more but Jpatma's comment really helped me. Thanks Jaya.

What Jaya says is very much true though we pray for the soul's peace but when the stark reality faces us it becomes difficult to cope as I see in my mom. She feels totally lost and alone though we are there for her. She is totally insecure and kind of unrest lurks her whenever she falls sick maybe its natural when you lose a life partner who has shared his life with us for more than 30yrs.

But my basic question Sri is regarding these deaths of small kids ..why is that these happens in the first place? If you see a person is being burdened with more & more sorrow in life..WHY? You may come with an answer like purva janma karmam but somehow this theory never satisfies me.

 

Sridhar,
(Sorry for the long post..it was longer i have cut it short)


This is going to be a very heavy laden blog for many, the reason what the practical side accepts is not easy for the emotional side.

though i can understand and fully agree about Tagore's view of death or rumi's, it still is death.

IF accepting, death was so easy we would not have so many people talking about dealing with grief.
I still remember, going:rant how coolly buddha has talked about death..in the episode where he asks the mother who goes to him to bring her dead son alive, to bring a fistful of grains from the house where there was no loss. it was a phase where my roommates sister passed away, she was with us the earlier night we sent her off, she reached home, and slipped from the stairs while going to school.

The fear of death is real sridhar, whether it is for self or for others. tell me honestly, when somebody very close was sick, we would have said many a times, Please god, let her/him be alright, even if it means i get to suffer. many a times, we hear at funerals, why was i not picked instead. i think it is just the grief that makes those statements, but there is a fear.

I know you, you are going to come back and tell me shanthi that is because of not being clear or because of being ignorant, about what is death, and don’t tell me that I did not say grieving is wrong.

You have already explained about rumi crying over his friend's death and writing this only towards his own end. The reason could be more like he knew what it is to suffer the death of a near one and he wanted other to understand that it was his wedding with his beloved rather than a ending.


There is a story of a donkey and horse that I read long back.

The horse worked to pull a cart for a farmer along with another. This horse used to always argue with the other for everything and also picking on the other. And one day the other horse dies. This horse, is upset that he did not mend his ways with the other horse and he had been very mean, and though that he will now be better horse with the new horse who will join him.
But promises,even to self are sometimes meant to be broken and he goes back to his old ways of bickering and picking. And one day he stops short wondering why he is back to his old ways.
He decides to talk to the donkey working for the farmer. The donkey after listening to everything, tells the horse, that if he was really willing to mend his ways he has to simply remember that after a few days, few months or few years you will die, and the horse beside you works with you will die, even I will die. Everything around you will die. Everything is part of a cycle, which could break and be lost forever to be followed by a new cycle. These are not permanent. Remembering death makes you tough and attentive enough to love everyone around you. The waves on the ocean are not permanent, only the ocean is permanent.

I know, I understand DEATH, but accepting that it is just a bye is more for the simple ordinary human that I am.

P.S. I did not want to add my personal NDE. I have seen the tunnel of light once sridhar. (though do not want to recount the experience right now.)

 

Shan

that was a wonderful rejoinder..what you say is absolute truth. The story of the horse & the donkey is so profound especially the words of the donkey it is like hearing from a Gnani. So beautiful...

Thanks a lot Shan...