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Life after loosing your partner

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by Induslady, May 6, 2007.

  1. RadiantCat

    RadiantCat Gold IL'ite

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  2. lakshu

    lakshu New IL'ite

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    Dear ones,

    Me varalakshmi, widowed in my age of 33 yrs, now am 35yrs old struggling in my life doing teacher job having two daughters even though I scored well in my higher secondary my parent married to a person and I have two daughters now in the age 17 and 8 years old, there is no support either from my inlaws or from my parent. My daughter scored well joined ina reputed university with free seat and staying in hostel. I look very young like 25-30 yrs, when i go their meet her, she is very matured enough and discuss to me everythings and use to tell to me that she knows her responsibility.

    Nowadays she is advicing me to go for a re-marriage, whenever I step into that felt fear and afraid, use to think what will happen to my kids and future but as you said in late 50's a person without partner is a v.hard thing to survive. No body can fill the place of partner except God.
     
  3. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    You are right. Companionship is very important, existence of a (right) partner is paramount in life.

     
  4. jaisreer

    jaisreer New IL'ite

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    I became a widow on 12 may 2007 many things have changed for me. I lost my best friend a sounding board, an intellectual companion and a love of my life. It is not necessary for the whole world to know I am suffering nor do I want a compassion from any one. All I ask for people to be sensitive to my situation. I do not attend poojas,wedding and anniversaries a . These gathering tend to be very insensitive. I bet many have bad marriages in these groups they live with the spouse because of convenience. yet, they get a better treatment then a widow who is really hurting . This is a generational thing I do not blame any one group. Unless and until we are conscious of it it will go on and on for ever.
     
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  5. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Jaisree

    I am sorry to hear about your loss. I just want to say this...Good / Bad people always need something to talk aobut...if today its about you/your situation, tomorrow it would be about someone or something else...It doesnt matter whether you go n mingle or remain behind closed doors. However I would request you to start going to places if people invite you....only reason is just because of some crappy judgmental people, dont think that everyone will be like that. There are some nice people too who empathize with you and want to be your friend...not like a pity thing...but for genuine reasons.

    Also if you keep avoiding them, they would think they are right in their judgemental behaviour!! so dont let that thing happen. BE BRAVE. and CONFRONT. if they dont like you well and good..you are what you are!! and you are not dependant on them or not asking them for their approval. However hwat if someone genuinely is interested to be friend with you...such people would get a chance to meet you and know you and who knows you might also end up making good friends. I wish you the very best and we as virtual friends are here any time for you.
     
  6. sojourner

    sojourner Silver IL'ite

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    Re: Life after losing your partner

    I am wondering whether you will find more sensitive fellowship among non-Indian groups. I highly recommend the unitarian fellowship if they have one in your area. A long time ago, before I was married, I used to go regularly to their services, and felt a sense of belonging. (You don't have to give up your religion. One can be a Hindu and a unitarian.They are like Brahma Samaj people.) A lady I became friends with was like an aunt to me. When I got married, my wife and I went and met her. I was friends with her until she passed away.

    Good luck.
     
  7. jaisreer

    jaisreer New IL'ite

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    you are so right I have survived these three because of my american friends. Both white and black.
     

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