Life after divorce

cuppcake · May 28, 2012

Hello

I'm quite new to this forum and found it a wonderful place to come to for some really constructive suggestions covering almost every topic that concerns women. Its heartening to see more and more women coming together on online forums.

Just wish to share a little sumthing about my life hoping that it would help someone going through doubts and pain in their lives. I got married when i was 25 and still a student. It was a very abusive marriage, can say i nearly lost my life and i got separated in 6 months..the divorce process itself took much longer though. its hard to describe the pain and trauma, the humiliation,low self esteem, betrayal..I'm sure a lot of us know about that..I felt the best way to stop myself from going insane was to involve myself in something that would leave me with any time to think over anything. Not that i wasnt venting my feelings, i cried a lot a lot of the time..but i was always studying..academics was my strong point. I studied hard for four years..had my divorce in the meanwhile and cleared the upsc examination with a good rank. I am an officer now with whatever i could have wished for. I can safely say that I am a much happier person than before. I am also keen to be married again I am 32 now..its been so long that i have been alone. But i also feel a sense of accomplishment that i just held on somehow (with help of God and my parents). For everyone who feels that its too difficult, too uncertain, too complicated to leave a bad marriage..TRUST ME you will thank yourself in the end. Don't die a death everyday, u don't deserve it. Look for every possible help that u can. Just find the courage somehow to leave and God will show u the path, he/she always does. Lots of love and hugs.

Saisakthi · May 28, 2012

Dear Sister,

Welcome to IL family,

Great Hugs to you going through the bad phase, every word of your post gave your experience, how this helps other sisters who are feeling low about their bad phase,

Thanks to the almighty for giving strength to get yourself to clear UPSC amongst these hurdles, do get married soon as the dark wane is past and live a great life forgetting the past.

May BABA show you a good path and be with you and bless in abundance, enjoy being in IL and boost sisters who need your support, Best wishes

suryakala · May 28, 2012

Dear Sister,
"I'm sure a lot of us know about that..I felt the best way to stop myself from going insane was to involve myself in something that would leave me with any time to think over anything. Not that i wasnt venting my feelings, i cried a lot a lot of the time..but i was always studying"....touching lines.

Very touching post. It was a very difficult situation you have faced. That is over, Now, think about your future and take a correct decision in each and every matter, and be brave always. We all IL Friends are with you to give moral support.I will keep your name in my prayers. Baba will take care of you.
May Sai Baba show you the right path with ease and be with you always.

pinky6 · May 28, 2012

cupcake hatsoff to you:bowdown........and you are a role model to the other women who are still suffering with the monster husbands. wish you all the best for your second marriage.:thumbsup

zainabsarfraz · May 28, 2012

a big hug to you dear.. and i really admire the will power you had to clear the UPSC exam even after having an abbusive marriage. hats off to you.. i think we need more people to share their real time experience here as how they were able to console themselves and could start a new life after the end of the abbusive marriage, it will build confidence in our fellow IL members who are going through the same situations in life.

GMReddy · May 28, 2012

dear op,

kudos to your courage and determination to come out of the difficult situation after divorce and stand on your own...

it's an inspiration to the persons who are facing similar situation...

surely your desire for a right partner will be fulfilled as per your wishes...

best of luck...

sushmavja · May 28, 2012

cupcake,
you are definitely an inspiration to many people..wish you happy times ahead

satchitananda · May 28, 2012

Hearty congratulations to you for the courage and fortitude you have shown. You are a beacon to those friends here who are enduring really bad marriages and are afraid to come out for fear of an unknown future. You have shown that if one has the courage, one's future can certainly be very bright.

I wish you all the best and hope you find a dependable and good life partner very soon.

getstrngth · May 28, 2012

Hi Cupcake,

Big hug to you.

I feel as if you told my story in few lines.. Except that by god's grace my divorce ended within 6 months got it on the exact day of my first anniversary. I came back to the same city where i lost my life. Studied hard and got a job. With the blessing of the Almighty, I'm kind of successful here.

We do deserve better happiness and we will surely find our guy soon.

Best wishes for both of us

satchitananda · May 29, 2012

digezt said: ↑

As usual gross generalizations....
then why take the trouble of inviting monster no 2...
Click to expand...

Hi Digezt,

I am deleting your post because taking off on someone other poster's reply is not allowed. However, I would like to explain to you, that there is no generalization in Pinky6's reply. When she refers to "monster husbands" she is referring to the husbands of those who are still suffering in abusive marriages, afraid of going for a divorce. Any other man she finds need not necessarily fit the description as there are many husbands who are very decent human beings too.