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Letting it Be

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Kamalji, Aug 25, 2007.

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  1. Aug 28, 2007 #21
    Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    TDU,

    Great of yr wife,and great of u too,sir,to support her.It is better she is happy and away from u doing what gives her happiness,rather than be with u,and her mind being elsewhere.

    Marriage is sacrifices and adjustments and u two have done it very well.I can understand how lonely u must be over there,God bless u and yr family.

    Regards.kamal
     
    Kamalji, Aug 28, 2007
    Kamalji, Aug 28, 2007
    #21
  2. Aug 28, 2007 #22
    Jananikrithsan

    Jananikrithsan Gold IL'ite

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    Kamalji,
    Another thought provoking post. My husband is basically god fearing but not very religious, I never say anything about that, I feel you cannot force your views on one another ,giving enough space in the strength of any realtionship You are lucky to have a spouse who makes so many adjustments. Lucky you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
    Jananikrithsan, Aug 28, 2007
    Jananikrithsan, Aug 28, 2007
    #22
  3. Aug 28, 2007 #23
    Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Kamalji,

    I loved the way you have analyzed. why should we try to change anybody. we dont want to change anything in our parents/sister/friends, we accept them as they are.
    I feel the package as it is with the +/- is what makes it interesting. otherwise, the chemistry , called love in a marriage dies a slow death....

    The other half when it complements you perfectly why should u want to change anything... . at the same time, i would not mind changing/making any adjustments/sacrifice for the unconditional love and support i get from my husband.
     
    Shanvy, Aug 28, 2007
    Shanvy, Aug 28, 2007
    #23
  4. Aug 28, 2007 #24
    Vysan

    Vysan Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Kamalji

    That was a good one......

    Mine is a intercaste marriage against all odds.... like in cinemas..... Now going on 14 yrs.

    My wife has changed herself for me in a lot of ways.... She had adjusted..... I have changed a lot..... We used to have fights / arguments etc.... But our love for each other has not changed... We teach our kids the love for the family...

    My wife always says, I accepted you as a package with all your plus and minus.. So why should i change you....

    I felt it was a nice thing and has been following the same .....:2thumbsup:

    Veda
     
    Vysan, Aug 28, 2007
    Vysan, Aug 28, 2007
    #24
  5. Aug 29, 2007 #25
    Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Jananiji,


    Yes why force yr husband.We all need space to grow.Where would be the fun, if both husband and wife were carbon copies of each other, with the same tastes,likes and dislikes.

    Wouldnt life get too boring then ?:-(

    Thanks for taking out time to read and comment on my blog.Regards.kamal
     
    Kamalji, Aug 29, 2007
    Kamalji, Aug 29, 2007
    #25
  6. Aug 29, 2007 #26
    Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Shantiji,


    The adjustment has to come from both,not just the wife.

    My wife may not like cooking non veg for me, but she does.
    I may not like Satsang,but i dont stop her, as long as she does not drag me there.:-(

    Thanks for stopping by.Regards.kamal
     
    Kamalji, Aug 29, 2007
    Kamalji, Aug 29, 2007
    #26
  7. Aug 29, 2007 #27
    Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Mr.Veda,

    Im sure u two must have had a lot of adjustment to do,after having a love marriage,against all odds.

    God bless u both,loves and regards.kamal
     
    Kamalji, Aug 29, 2007
    Kamalji, Aug 29, 2007
    #27
  8. Aug 29, 2007 #28
    Vysan

    Vysan Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Kamalji,,

    Thanks...

    I never felt that we have adjusted to each other........ We loved each other.....
    I always felt when you truely love a person there is nothing called Adjusting/Compromise/changing/sacrifice....... You dont feel that you have done any of these things.... the day u start feeling then u dont love that person any more...

    May be I am wrong.........

    Veda
     
    Vysan, Aug 29, 2007
    Vysan, Aug 29, 2007
    #28
  9. Aug 29, 2007 #29
    arch174

    arch174 Senior IL'ite

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    HI everyone,
    pardon my english but ..does "adjusting "mean giving in,bowing down,LETTING other person have his/her way...as oposed to settling down,enjoying, growing....why -ve undertones?
    people ask this question to newly married GIRLS in the context of their in-laws..
    Does anybody know of the reverse question...pl anybody enlighten me..
    IS it that majority wins...just like childhood games?
     
    arch174, Aug 29, 2007
    arch174, Aug 29, 2007
    #29
  10. Aug 30, 2007 #30
    Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Arch

    That is a nice question u have raised.

    I did not mean that we must give in to unjustified demands.Well regarding DIL and MIL,adjustments have to be from both the sides.

    what i mean is try not to change yr partner and his habits.Adjust to them,and life will be happier.

    thanks and regards.kamal
     
    Kamalji, Aug 30, 2007
    Kamalji, Aug 30, 2007
    #30
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