Let me through those Pearly Gates

" Bachao! Help!"yelled Jaggi Dadlani , " this can't happen to me .""
Jaggi's chest pains had started soon after eating the shrimp special at "Potobhara" the new fish restaurant. Fortunately the ambulance arrived almost immediately and a hospital happened to be closeby.

"Hey ,bugha,"Jaggi yelled again, "tell that driver bugha to drive faster."
Now we must realize that Jaggie was a product of Don Bosco boys school in Bandra , Mumbai . The school had lifted the English language to a height that even Oxford and Cambridge envied .
They had simplified the language with one word bugha ( for buggar). No proper names to muddle with .
."Hey bugha! Call that bugha, move over bugha etc etc "

The Emergency Room doctor a MBBS from Patna found Jaggi to be a difficult patient. He would not sit still to get the IV started neither would he listen to instructions. There was only one thing left to do.
The Bihari Bomb.
With the attendant holding Jaggi down, the Patna genius inserted a fat rubber tube into Jaggii's rear end pushing a gallon of concentrated 'bhaang'solution.
The Bihari bomb had never failed . Jaggie was out like a light ..
After ECG and blood reports were checked out , it was obvious that Jaggi had nothing more than a bout of hyperacidity resulting from indigestion.
He was still knocked out cold but his mind began hallucinating. He thought he was dead, ascending endless stone steps. There were crowds of people on each side hustling and bustling. He finally reached the Pearly Gates of Heaven.

There sitting calmly was the guardian who would decide his fate whether Heaven , Hell or Purgatory. But the guardian was not blue eyed , blonde haired ,and fair skinned.Instead he had dark skin, dark eyes and a beard.
Something looked familiar about him
" Hey bugha man !" exclaimed Jaggi,"you don't look like St. Peter."
"Even an idiot can see that, "replied the guardian.
"Pete is taking some time out. A new batch of young angels have arrived. He is getting the heavenly spa treatment from them . I am Osho Rajneesh, his substitute for now ."

" OK OK bugha,"conceded Jaggi,"at least let me through to Heaven."
"Not so fast, bugha"replied Osho , 'let me review your life" and began opening his laptop.
"Damn it's slow coming on again."
"But I'm telling you bugha,"said Jaggi, "I deserve Heaven. I have been a successful Sindhi. I had my own busines, employed many people, never wasted money on overtime even if they worked late. .Oh , and all those poojas at my home ! Why , I even bargained with the pujari to give big big discounts. What more could Bhagwan want?"
"Stop calling me that . I changed my name to Osho a long time ago.,"said Osho Rajneesh as he googled Jaggi Dadlani
" I see you never treated your employees like human beings, but more like servants."

"Come on,bugha,"replied Jaggi."That's ********."
"Let's go take a look, "said Osho. "But first let's descend the steps of Purgatory . Next down to your factory . See all these people ? They have to do a lot of service before passing reaching the Pearly Gates, from cleaning latrines to feeding animals .We must stop by Sosamma''s stall for a minute as her Uthtappa's are 'almost ' heavenly.

"I can't believe this," thought Jaggi ."Here I am anxiously awaiting my fate and this bugha wants to eat Utthappa dosa ."

Finally the two of them reached the gates of Jaggi's factory. Jaggi's eyes popped open.The two uniformed watchmen who he used to admonish everyday had gone berserk. One was clinging to the bar of the gate swinging side to side , shouting. " Mar gaya, hah hah hah ! Salaa harami mar gayaa."
The other watchman had stripped to his underpants and was doing the bhangra. Their joy at Jaggi's demise could not be mistaken.
As they passed through the hall ( of course neither Jaggi nor Osho could be seen or heard by the living )they saw that other employees had stopped work and were playing Holi.Some had brought their tabla and harmonium and his foreman Shahrukh Ali was singing a thumri.
The entire crew was in seventh heaven! ( and poor Jaggi wasn't even close ).

Finally they entered the main office where his personal secretary Babita and her assistant Sumati sat at their computers.
Sumati had worn a short short skirt which hitched up rather too high where she sat. Jaggi was amazed to see this transformation because while he was around, Sumati wore clothes down to her ankles !
"Hey bitch , " he shouted, "why could you not show me your thighs then ?"
The final insult to Jaggi was Babita, whose big breasts had mesmerized Jaggi all those years. Unfortunately she would wear her cholis buttoned right upto her neck.
" I can't believe this," moaned Jaggi loudly
'My boobitoos, my darling boobyloos , my twin peaks. I dreamed of your boobies everyday, touching and fondling them. If I could only have died from suffocation with my head buried between my boobytoo breasts, that would have been heaven enough."
What he saw now was that Babita was wearing a daringly low cut blouse with both breasts popping out provocatively .
He also noticed that every male employee was deliberately passing her desk or lingering above her using some excuse or the other.Needless to say she was enjoying the attention.

Suddenly the image faded and out of a haze he found himself in the hospital bed alive ,his family and friends surrounding the bed. He did not realize that in his stupor he had been talking loud about everything.
" You did not have a heart attack.", explained the doctor, you are alive and healthy and free to go ."

Jaggi looked around, his friends were slowly trickling out of the room, their heads down.
Jaggi looked up at his wife who was looming over his head,looking grim
" You must be overjoyed to see me alive. Are you ?:"he asked her.
There was a long silence
Finally , very calmly she said, "I think we need to have a talk about Boobitoo "

 

Jaya,
Gee thanks for asking ..jJaggi got fired from his job for taking too much time off ..
Babita with the boobitoos unhesitatingly married the next boss
characters are not real ..all made up lol!
jaijui

 

Bhiku,
ROFL !!
Assuming u are talking about guys ,they will have to show proof about their fascination for other anatomical parts .. and how they have managed thus far..
then and then alone will Osho consider their entry to the pearly gates ha ha ha
u are kaidi number 420 .. soch ley
jaijui

 

Swathi,
Oops!
Was having fun , that's all
Looks like I have hurt ur sensibilities ..also learning that i can't please all the people all the time .
tc
jaijui

 

dhivya dear ,
you are special , u know that ? thanks a lot
jaijui