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Let’s Relax This Time With A New Year Party!

Discussion in 'Wednesdays with Varalotti' started by varalotti, Dec 26, 2006.

  1. varalotti

    varalotti IL Hall of Fame

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    Most Gracious ILites,
    Thanks for the really ‘overwhelming’ response for the Gossip Thread. I do plan to take up such serious topics alternating them with some light-heated topics. (ILites who want me to touch upon any sensitive topics, may please pm their suggestions to me.)

    This week, with the holiday mood lifting us to increased levels of buoyancy, let us talk about something light. I would like to share my experiences about a memorable new year celebration I had a few years back.

    I am not at all favourably inclined to new year celebrations. I don’t go out to a hotel, do not travel out of my place during that time. I would rather prefer a day of productive work and an evening of creative writing as the most proper new year celebration.

    But it happened once, I think in 1999, that I was obliged to attend a new year party at a Star Hotel in <st1:City><st1:place>Madurai</st1:place></st1:City>. One of my young clients wanted to celebrate new year in style and he had paid, and exorbitantly so, for the admission of almost all of his friends. I did not have the heart to refuse his kind invitation especially after learning that he had paid so much on my account.

    So at <st1:time minute="30" hour="8">half past eight</st1:time> on the new years eve I dressed myself with extra care to be present in the celebration venue, absolutely ignorant of what that year and that celebration was going to teach me.


    When I entered, the bar had been opened already and people were in the middle of their drinks. I checked the time. There was three and a half hours for the birth of the new year. ‘If people start to drink from now onwards (I did not have any clue when they actually started) what would be their state of mind and body when the new year is to be ushered in!’

    But it was quite interesting and even amusing to see some of the most serious businessmen and much respected VVIPs of the city, totally relaxed with their glasses of drinks! Though I don’t drink, I love to converse with people who really enjoy their drinks.


    Their inhibitions and defences are down and the conversation assumes an unexpected shade of authenticity. We discussed about the year that was gone and the year that was to come in. We discussed about the celebrations happening in the various other venues, the charges, the kind of entertainment that is given and so on.

    At about <st1:time hour="22" minute="0">10 PM</st1:time> the dance floor was open. I had never seen that kind of dancing in my life. Men and women were dancing with gay abandon. Though I was happy to see them happy, I was a little worried.

    The men have been drinking like fish since 8 30. And they were dancing with women, were in the close company of women, in a semi-dark dancing floor. Honestly I have never subscribed to the views of Western Culture.

    If you want a very candid opinion from me, I will go further and explain. You see in the West, in <st1:place>Europe</st1:place> and parts of <st1:country-region><st1:place>America</st1:place></st1:country-region>, the weather is very cold. The outside temperature will be sub-zero with snow falling most of the time. For them to turn themselves on they need drinks and closeness of women company. It is a kind of given in their culture. But ours is a tropical country.


    Even in the worst of winters the temperature will be hovering around 21 to 23 degrees celsius. We do not need those props to arouse ourselves. And if we are going to blindly ape the West in this matter, we are in for sure trouble, as I found out that day.
     
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  2. varalotti

    varalotti IL Hall of Fame

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    Let’s Relax This Time With A New Year Party 2

    Around <st1:time minute="0" hour="23">11 PM</st1:time> an young lady, wife of one of my clients approached me with an extended hand. ‘Come, Sridhar, let’s dance’, she said. I just smiled defensively and said, I don’t know dancing. Please look for somebody else.

    ‘Come on, don’t be a spoil sport. Are we going to dance Bharatham or kucchupudi? No. We’ll just hold our hands and swing to the rhythm of the music. We can be conversing. I want to talk to you a lot.’

    Now the smile in my face was gone. I said with a sternness that I cant dance period. She was insistent. ‘Are you afraid that I will seduce you, sridhar?’
    That was the proverbial last straw on the camel’s back. I had to tell her point blank,

    ‘No Madam, I am afraid of myself. I am not sure of myself. I may be a good man. But I cannot trust my harmones to be under my control under these circumstances. So I can’t dance.’
    I stood my ground even when she came back with her husband to renew her request.

    Then she left me with some stinging words. I was not bothered.

    But then I expressed my anguish to my friend standing nearby. ‘If men and women are in so close company in this kind of darkness and that too after so much of drinking (some of the ladies had had beer)… I am not very sure of the consequences.’

    My friend said that these things are quite common and that I am paranoid and outdated.

    But in another 20 minutes what I feared happened. An young boy in his early twenties had misbehaved with a married lady. The lady raised a hue and cry and naturally we had many spot-heros rushing to the damsel in distress. The boy was beaten black and white and packed off.


    I was there to express my opposition to this rude treatment. I told them anybody would have faltered given that kind of a situation. And we should just send the boy out without harming him. But nobody would listen to me. The boy went out with blood trickling down his face. He mumbled something as he went. We could not hear what he said.

    But we realised the bitter meaning of his words in another half an hour. He came back. In four TATA Sumos fully laden with people, armed with sticks (the round uruttu savukku kambu is the favourite weapon in <st1:city><st1:place>Madurai</st1:place></st1:city>; it could be lethal depending on the person handling it). The boy was the only son of a local Dada.

    The ladies were hauled up and locked inside the huge gents’ toilet of the star hotel. Fortunately the Hotel Management now interfered and the matter was settled amicably after about an hour of mediation.

    Meanwhile the new year came in unheralded. As the ladies came out of their toilet-exile later I had the audacity to ask one of them, “How did you like welcoming new year in a men’s toilet?”

    The culture makes the person. And if we are not intelligent enough to understand our cultural make-up we are surely inviting trouble as it was very clear on that new year’s day.

    At the time of the next new year the same young client who sponsored me for the party invited me to a much more extravagant millenium bash. I told him in so many sweet words, ‘Go to hell.’

    Varalotti
     
    Last edited: Dec 27, 2006
  3. aishu22

    aishu22 Gold IL'ite

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    Topic is an En"light"enment to youngsters like me!!

    Hi Sridhar,
    Really a wonderful write -up. Great enlightenment to youngsters like me.
    I had the same kinda experience.I worked for a BPO company which celebrated its 1st anniversary function& New year bash in a 5 star hotel(SAVERA).Never had i been to a dance floor or had any idea about a disco hall.Only after i went for the function had i realised that it was just a replica of a "fuming chimney" and smelled like a rotten fish:oops:.

    My only intention was to get out from there ASAP but for the Prize that i had to collect for my services to that Project for that one year.I was nominated for Best Technicain of the year award. To my dismay, the prize ceremony was to be held last after the so called "DAPANKUTHU" dance of our chennai was over.I sat for the entire 3 hours in the reception area of the hotel and just sped like a bird to collect my prize and flee from that wretched place.Thankgod!!!! i heard from my friends that some untoward incidents did happen on the dance floor......

    Till today i don't know why BPO companies have to follow the western culture giving a little thought for the safety of the female employees...


    Wonderful topic sridhar!!! Kudos to you!!!!:clap:clap:clap

    Best Regards,
    Aishu

     
  4. Vandhana

    Vandhana Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Sridhar,

    What people do in the name of celebration? It is was interesting to read your experiences. And the sad fact is, these days most celebrations must have Booze and dancing. I prefer to spend the New Years eve at home with family and ring in the new year . I have attended a few celebration parties here , but they were all formal affairs i.e sit down dinner, no dancing etc..... I don't mind going to these type of events.

    Vandhana
     
  5. meenu

    meenu Bronze IL'ite

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    prtying is a special culture

    Dear Varalotti,
    I read yourpost with great interest. I agree partying and clubgoing ais a special culture which we have to develop. I know many people who go to parties with heavy heart and a frown, may be a social necessity.It is not at all necessary to usher new year with only fun and frolic. Many offices work on new year day ,determined to start off well with good work.I strongly believe we should welcome new year with a determination to improve ourselves as a person.
    Regards,
    Meenu
     
  6. Preethi

    Preethi Gold IL'ite

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    The year ends with a lively bash, Varalotti

    Dear Varalotti,

    That was an interesting read about your personal experience during New Year Eve...! Hearing such nasty incidents and behaviour of the female who approached you, I feel socialising and modernism is not clearly understood by many women like her.

    I believe in happiness and gettogether during new year..I would very much like to enjoy welcoming the new year with lot of gala time with family and friends....Over the past years, for quite a few years I have called friends home and been to friends house and enjoyed the new year with good spirit, in presence of family elders....That was healthy way of enjoyment and we all had very pleasent memories when the new year started every year.

    There is nothing wrong in having fun and bash on the eve of the new year...but it is wrong to go overboard in the name of having fun and get into such troubles....excess drinking and being out of our senses and misbehaving, is something too much that one does in the name of new year bash.

    Well, I am sure, the boy alone is not be blamed for his misbehaviour, the lady with whom he misbehaved might have given him that opportunity to dare such things on her...then there is no point in she making a human cry and creating a scene...I wonder whether the lady who was attacked by the boy (in way of misbehaviour) learnt her lesson well and behaved herself during the next new year bash hosted by your friend (if at all she went for it !! )

    I must appreciate your will-power to resist such temptation, that one can easily succumb to, in a situation like this.....

    Apart from reading and enjoying your article, hope this new year eve bash goes well for you, in your own simple ways, with your family and friends.

    Most likely I will read the next post of yours only next year ! So wishing and hoping to see more and more write-ups from you during the coming year....

    Varalottiyin putham puthu padaipugalai, puthu polivudan, puthaandu varugaiyudan, kaana kaathirukirean. :)

    Love,
    Preethi
     
  7. safa

    safa Bronze IL'ite

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    Nowadays Party is for boozing only. Whether it Christmas, new year,
    B'day, the main activity is drinking..

    People forget the crowd and change behaviour , some behaves funnily and rude. Reading your write up, remembered one incident which happened in a Party. A man wearing suits, was dancing nicely with his wife. Don't know who is that, any way heard he is holding a good position in a reputed firm. After lots of "smalls and larges" some men jumped in to the swimming pool . This man also with others, removed his clothes and started swimming wearing only under garment! He walked shamelessly in front of the ladies. He forgot his family, other families, friends and the situation..This is the effect of alcohol.

    Pray to change people's attitude.
     
  8. Varloo

    Varloo Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Sridhar,
    it is always wise to say NO the first time itself to such parties. I never had had such party experience. But in Kerala, it is mandatory to have drinks and NV food for even a small get together. The men folk drink openly and the women do not object at all, it is like they are in th West. But personally, I detest drinking. Here men drink too much if they get it for free and misbehave. It is a pity to see such behaviour from otherwise nice people.
    My brother's office hosts a family day every year during the summer. His wife does not attend these parties because of men drinking and smoking- she can't stand it. I went once, to accompany my son. I too did not enjoy the party.
    And the close proximity and the dress sense (or no sense of dress) of the girls of today are sure going to create problems for them. No point in blaming the men later.
     
  9. purnima_2k

    purnima_2k Senior IL'ite

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    Applaud for your snippet!

    Dear Varalotti,

    Read with great interest this weeks episode. It has rekindled some memories in me. When my brother and me were kids, my dad(a Chartered Accountant by profession) was offered a house in the paushest of area and the membership in one of the most prestigious clubs in Chennai. My bro and me were very excited at the offer and were looking forward to our move. Much to our anguish and dismay, my dad cooly rejected both the offers! We were stumped, shocked and totally disppointed. When confronting him on this, my dad said it was because of our safety and good upbringing that he did this. We never understood it then. We thought dad was a simpleton and did not know about the 'paush side' of city life. Now, when i do hear bad reviews about that place and that club-- Husband of X going around with the Wife of Y,all their kids going astray, entering into smoking, drinking and sex at early ages !

    Now my bro and me are so grateful that my dad took his stand strongly inspite of both of us being wild with him for almost a year! :).Please do post more such incidents for youngsters to be aware off. I loved your answer.."spending the new year at mens' toilet".

    Due to certain personal commitments i am unable to be an active member of IL for the time being. So i would like to take this opportunity in wishing you and all the other gracious ILites a very HAPPY AND A PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR AND LOADS OF HAPPINESS!

    Love and Regards,
    Purni
     
  10. varalotti

    varalotti IL Hall of Fame

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    I am happy and proud of you, Aishu!

    Hi Aishu,
    Only after posting this did I realise that these days IL has a lot of vibrant young members who might mistake my writings as old fashioned or paranoid. But after reading your post I am very hopeful and more than relieved that todays youngsters have a strong sense of values and cultural belonging these days.

    I am especially appalled at the atmosphere in BPO units, especially the night-shift call centres. Open, blatant, crude sex has killed all traces of subtle and tender romance.
    Not that in my younger days I was not opposed to love and Romance. I was beautiful experience of falling in love. I had seen and known my wife (though I did not meet her) some 8 years before my marriage. But till we were formally engaged we have never talked to each other. But when we see each other in a common place we will allow to rest our glance on the others face one second more than normal. That was the maximum we could do. But that was pure romance. But what's happening now is crude, uncultured, valueless sex, which will only burn out our youngsters making them incapable of any tender feelings in their lives.

    I am happy and proud of you, Aishu, that you stood out of the crowd and stood up for what you thought was right. Have that kind of strength for all time to come and you will never, ever be sad in life.
    Best of luck, Aishu,
    regards,
    sridhar
     
    Last edited: Dec 27, 2006

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