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Leaving locker key in India

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by justanotherDIL, Jan 7, 2014.

  1. manalimanoj

    manalimanoj Silver IL'ite

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    Locker is common bproblem fr dil residing outside India.
    Give the keys to ur mil an tell in front of fil that u gave the key to her.
     
  2. nalinidiv

    nalinidiv Platinum IL'ite

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    hi u cud take the jewels given by your mom and jewels that were bought personally by u and just leave the jewels ur MIL gave u in the locker.
    Reach India... go n remove ur belongings n happily give the key to her after dat.. no problem rite?...
     
  3. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    If you do have to leave the key...give it to FIL or make sure you give it in front of him.Keep your husband out of this issue.He will not like you questioning his mom's intention.

    For now just take the key...operate your locker yourself. Don't give the key now...just tell her you have to keep the jewels back when you go.If she continues to ask for it ...bring up the issue in front of FIL .
     
  4. priyasaki

    priyasaki Gold IL'ite

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    According to me it is a big no no to give the keys to IL's...
    it may sound rude but that is the fact...

    once i gave my dh's chain(given by my father on our wedding for a ritual) to MIL to wear it for a function, u know wht happened...
    she din't return it to me nor thought of that instead she gave her daily wear chain to her elder son(who needed money) and started wearing this for daily use...
    once she got back her chain also she was not ready to give back to me, she was wearing both the chains for daily use...
    this continued for more than 4 months and my BP was raising each time i saw the chain...
    then there came a function where eveyone in our family has to go...
    i gave one of my heavy chain to her(which i wear for small functions often) and asked to her to return the other chain since my dh needs it to wear for the function...
    quietly she returned the previous chain and wore the one i gave...
    the next day itself i need to go for a function and asked her to give it mentioning i need to wear, she gave it without even uttering a word...

    if she is so keen of ur locker key, pls don't give it to her...
    or empty the locker and give the key to her...
     
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  5. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    Agree. It is like living together in joint family. No point in first trying it, then facing problems and separating with hurt feelings. Better to live separately from the beginning, respect each other, and be there for each other. Similarly, for gold, money issues, better to keep it straightforward and separate. Never know, when and or what "emergency" reason what is withdrawn from the locker and how.

    Even if OP's in-laws are the kind who will never take what is not theirs, her lost peace of mind and its inevitable impact on her marriage will not be worth the potential long-distance harmony that will come from her trusting in-laws with the locker key.
     
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  6. akhilandeswari

    akhilandeswari Junior IL'ite

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    give some other (means look like original key) to her.
     
  7. spandana7

    spandana7 Senior IL'ite

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    Dear OP
    Dont get any negative idea in ur head ......may be she is just reminding u to get the key without any other motive .......
    what r ur worst fear ......
    1)that she will sell ur jewellery (she wont do that as she herself gave u half of them)
    2)That she will use it for herself (just imagine if ur mother is there in her place ...would u not allow her)
    3)She will not give u the jewellery back (U can always get ur husband and FIL support in that case)

    I have been married for 4 years now and hardly wore my gold jewellery once or twice .....i never feel attached to that piece of property ........i know money is important but ur relationship is more important than that .............build a trusting relationship with ur MIL .......ultimately all ur jewellery will come to u only so instead of worrying abt it now ..........just enjoy this phase of life and invest time in building good relationship .
     
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  8. mybaby1

    mybaby1 Gold IL'ite

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    Dear OP if the locker is in your sole name there is no question of your MIL using your jewellery as being a banker I can assure you that locker access is just for the holder or only in his presence.May be being an elder she wants to feel safe of your jewellery by having the keys with her.
    But yes be ready that when you handover your locker key to her whenever you want to use your locker you will be answerable to her as she will be possessing the keys.
     
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  9. jaanu143

    jaanu143 Gold IL'ite

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    Next time she asks u abt key , ask innocently " y are u telling so many times and is there any emergency? "
     
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  10. justanotherDIL

    justanotherDIL New IL'ite

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    Thank you for all the responses and feedback, ladies.

    I think for now, I should just try to stay calm and if she asks me for the locker key once I'm in India, I will try to either give it to my FIL or give it to MIL in front of FIL. I'll see her behavior this time and see what she does with the key and locker or whether she does anything at all. And then in 1-2 years, I'll bring everything with me to the US. This seems to be the only way to deal with this issue without causing hard feelings between her and me.
     

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