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Learning To Accept

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by satchitananda, Aug 2, 2023.

  1. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    I don’t know. I still don’t know. Damn ‘know’. I still do not understand ….. calculus and coordinate geometry ….. and physics which insist you should understand the first two if you have to understand the formulae. These are just a few of those many things I never understood. I suffered them till Std. XII ….. and how!

    Swimming was something I did not know. My teenage Victorian morals would not allow me to get into the pool in a swimsuit ….. until my nephew learnt to swim. How could I not know how to swim?! Damn morals. I donned on the swimsuit, got into the pool, learned to swim, almost drowned, was rescued (blame the person who saved me – one of the purposes of his life was to ensure that you have to read this. Of course he would not be aware of this purpose of his existence) and now I know how to swim. But since there is no warm water pool in my vicinity and my old bones cannot endure the cold water, I still ‘can’t’ swim. I did not accept the first ‘cannot’. The second I am forced to accept.

    Coming back to calculus and coordinate geometry ….. I did not want to come back to this dimension just in order to master this. Not a good idea to go with unfulfilled dreams and wishes. So it was that I joined a well reputed online class and tried to learn it. Found it got stuck at one point and never even started teaching me what I wanted to learn. Eventually I gave up on it. Till I HAD to accept that it was not my cuppa tea (no, not even my filter kapi). I have made my peace with the fact. The youngsters in the family mastered the subjects, but not I. I am probably dumb. It is ok. What would the world be without dumb people? Whom would the smarties compare themselves with? To be smart, there has to be the duality – smart and stupid. I have found my purpose in life ..... to give others an objective comparison point to establish their identity. I accept my purpose and my limitations. I live a perfectly contented and fulfilled life even without knowing calculus or coordinate geometry. Am perfectly happy to leave those rarified higher realms of knowledge to the smarter ones. Let them create technology. I shall happily use them!
     
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  2. hrastro

    hrastro Platinum IL'ite

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    @satchitananda

    I had to laugh at your last line! Yes, they develop the technology and you express your thoughts and use technology to reach people and make them think about life:hearteyes:

    I am a maths teacher - so when you mention coordinate geometry and calculus - it is like jalebi and rabdi and barfi for me - such sweet words, it gives me immense joy and satisfaction when I explain it to students like you who think maths is not for them !

    A few days ago, a 4 year old student asked me why do you wear 4 dots as your bindi - most people use 1 dot.
    I told her look Kanna - I cannot draw (neither any designs nor any straight lines), but I like looong bindis (lot of forehead space) - so I draw 3-4 dots in a straight line (mostly doesnt come straight, but still looks like some random design!)

    I always pass the phone to my DH if we need to specify directions to our home -
    My DH laughs at me - if we just turn you round and round in front of our house, you will stand and search "Where is my house?"
    I tell him thats why we have Google maps! I was born "GPS damaged"
    But despite being GPS damaged, I have backpacked alone all over Europe and UK and even India with just a printed map in the days before Google maps! Because of my confidence in myself !

    So, it is not just about accepting your limitations, but also what you do with/without it! As long as we can live a fulfilled and happy life we really dont need to bother about the so-called "limitations" (I dont need to tell you this, but to other ILs, especially parents)

    Many parents who approach me for advice regarding their kids come with a list of what their child "is not good at" and how to correct them, make them more efficient.

    I respond with "Tell me what he/she is good at, then we can talk"

    One parent of a teen kept complaining - "He forgets to check the tickets, he boards the plane at the last minute, why cant he plan, why cant he take more care"
    I responded with - "Did he miss the flight? He used the speed of his mind and body to be on time, right?"
    That kid grew up to become a wonderful "Problem solver" - last minute decisions, technology problems, resource problems, even accidents - his intuitive thinking, quick grasping and confident decisions are valuable to solve the issue at hand!

    Life is not only about accepting our limitations, but also identifying how to use our strengths to lead the fulfilled life that we all want to lead !

    Keep smiling
    HR
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2023
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  3. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks a ton for that lovely feedback hrastro! I was fine as long as Maths was Algebra, Geometry, Trigonometry. The day it turned to Probability, Statistics, Calculus and Coordinate Geometry, I found myself floundering. I cannot deal with abstract concepts and I still don't know how a hyperbola differs from a parabola - even physically speaking.

    But on the other hand, I can 'smell' my way across a place without a Google map. My sense of direction is pretty good. Now you tell me it is the other way with you. Makes me wonder - are the two abilities inversely related???

    True, we seem to put all our kids in a box and conform. I suppose even my desperation to master something that I found infathomable stemmed from the question "How can I allow myself to be defeated by anything? Why can't I understand a concept? Am I so daft?" Maybe I am just hardwired differently. Aren't we all?

    Your example of the kid who used to never miss a plane but was written off as scatty by his parents reminds me of my time in Germany. It used to be so frustrating how they love to follow SOPs to get from A to B where as one can get there intuitively without the need for any of those and they used to insist on all of us doing the same. I guess they were doing the same thing as our society does - make everyone fit in.
     
  4. hrastro

    hrastro Platinum IL'ite

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    Statistically speaking from my experience with students over the last 15 years - there is no correlation between any two abilities - you would not be able to draw a straight line on the coordinate plane if you used them as the x and y ....

    But since the system rewards average ability due to discipline and process and conformity - the bell curve of probability pushes most students to be average at most abilities !

    Keep smiling
    HR

    P.S : Sorry, couldnt resist - when you said "inversely related" I had to respond mathematically :facepalm:
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2023
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  5. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    That makes sense! (Can't help being reminded of "Small Wonder's" Mom!!!). Well, i asked for it! :roflmao:

    Kidding. Mercifully that I can understand!!! :-D
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2023
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  6. shyamala1234

    shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Sachi,
    By this blog you gave peace to many like me to live with "not good" at many things. No need to feel guilty now.
    I am happy with what I know. I liked the expression "smart and stupid". I am happy with my knowledge of sense of direction. My mother who studied only upto 8th grade used to give an oral road map. Perfect!
    Love
    Syamala
     
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  7. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Platinum IL'ite

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    Don't or do not worry. You know how to write a funny snippet. What use is maths or geometry? Times have changed. AI will serve you. ChatGPT will answer all questions. You will have plenty of time to accept to reject.
     
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  8. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks a lot, sir! :-D
     
  9. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    We are not alone, Syamala. Nice to know that we are in good company! :-D We all have our own uses and God surely has his reasons for choosing these abilities for us while not giving us others. If only our system would recognize this and stop pressuring fish to climb trees ..... no one would be made to feel stupid or inadequate.
     
  10. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Satchi,

    What a delightful snippet I got to read because of your struggle with coordinated geometry and calculus. I got 99 in Algebra, Geometry and Trignometry in my preuniversity but what did I do with it? Nothing. I answered 12x3 = 36 questions when I am requested to choose only 8x3 = 24. Later I was told when I attempt all questions, the first 8x3 will be evaluated and if there are any mistakes, my mark will be less. My son keeps making fun of me about my lack of basic physics and equations. I am old and don't know anymore what I am good at. I am a generalist and a pain for the newest generation when I begin talking about values of life. I taught morals for 2 years to teenagers and thank God, they were disciplined not to send me hate text messages.

    Once I talked about the mind and the class was unanimous in telling me that everything went about their head. They asked me whether I knew what I was talking about! Given an opportunity, I would like to start all over and become a specialist in something. But there is no reset button in my life.
     

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