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Learning Acceptance

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by sundarusha, Nov 20, 2008.

  1. sundarusha

    sundarusha Gold IL'ite

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    When my children were younger, it was not unusual for a lot of menu times to take on an altered state in our household.

    Every recipe has a set of ingredients that identify the dish. One may add or reduce the spice level to suit the taste buds of the members of the household. But if one or more ingredients are altogether dropped, the dish takes on a new appearance, isn't it?

    Read on and you will agree with me.

    For eg. Take the case of the simple lemon rice. It is the easiest, most common preparation one cannot absolutely mess with, right?

    Not so. I would be asked to prepare it without the chana dal because it would irritate the gums of a child who might wince in pain due to the newly acquired braces and rubber bands on his teeth. Another child would declare that he would actually be gracious to eat it provided there were no leaves. Not to be outdone, hubby would announce that yellow color does not appeal to him much.

    For years, the lemon rice in our household would sport the look devoid of chana dal, coriander leaves and turmeric. The only ingredient that would remind us of the dish would be lemon juice.

    My family has outgrown these tendencies. The credit goes to the temple in town where lemon rice is the food often served during lunch hour. Either they had to eat it when we visited the temple or brave another hour or so before we hit the road and find a decent place to eat.

    Pondering about lemon rice, a thought occured to me.

    Why can't people be accepted as they are with all their attributes?
    We often analyze people based on their good or bad attributes, whether or not we approve of their qualities that define them.

    If we cannot accept people as they are, the least we should do is to learn to practice and set aside the qualities that we do not approve in them. Hopefully may be then ,we can learn to get along with them and cherish the good times.

    This level of tolerance will come handy for us if and when a time demands that we are forced to work with them in any way.

    Just as my family learnt to consume the lemon rice that had all the ingredients that they did not approve of at home.
     
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2008
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  2. Anandchitra

    Anandchitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Usha
    My family has also affected my cooking so much so that my parents find everything altered from traditional ways. Nowadays sambhar is become so rare .. I cannot imagine what my late MIL will think of all these changes. :spinLemon rice for some reason I am an expert. hahaha.. you might think whats there tobecome an expert but somehow I consider myself an expert solely based on the compliments of just ONE person, my dh.:hiya so no compromises on chana dal.. hehehe..

    I wonder where you got the philosophy angle from :):hide:

    These days I personally find most people having lower tolerance levels.. just a peek into the marraige and in-laws forum will support my case. Its my humble opinion these are easier said than done. That is to accept people as they are and set aside qualities that we do not approve.
    I am glad you have given me some noble thoughts to work with.. and in doing so my friend you became my Guru!:bowdown
     
  3. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    Rightly said, Usha...
    Starting from the lemon rice to the learning of acceptance of people for whom they are...
    even if we set aside those ingredients...lemon rice would not think bad about us...Big Laughbut in case of people they do pick on you, when they come to know that you possess this quality of accepting them as they are...because they can speak..:)
    Jokes apart, good learning technique..Usha...sure to remember it from now on...:thumbsup

    sriniketan
     
  4. sundarusha

    sundarusha Gold IL'ite

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    AC

    Thankfully the lemon rice has been restored to its original state. Chana dal is accepted now as braces have been removed. Occasionally, even recipes calling for coconut have been giving an extreme makeover with tofu in our place.

    Regarding improving tolerance levels in people, we all need to practice that art to making it perfect.

    I myself am working hard in this area, so can't take on Guru position. If and when I become ready for that title, I will ask for dakshinai!
     
  5. sundarusha

    sundarusha Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Bhargavi,

    Your are right. Just when we think we have worked hard at mastering a new technique of accepting everyone as they are , a new problem sprouts up testing our patience! Then we have to work on patience... No end...
     
  6. Gowri66

    Gowri66 Gold IL'ite

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    Usha...

    Superb... Lemon rice is very tasty.. indeed ! Tolerance level.... at its peak !!

    I remember... people's comment on my lemon rice ( yellow rice with slight sour taste with NO OIL in it) ... still accepting it is lemon rice !!

    Dakshinai... How much ???
     
  7. SupriyaDinesh

    SupriyaDinesh Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Usha,
    This lemon rice story reminded me of lemon rice in my inlaws where its just a yellow rice with seasoning here and there.Definitely tolerance levels are at the lowest..may be because we are no more a social animal with loads of people around..i can see this clearly with myself and DH.He has grew up in a huge joint family and can put up a smile if anyone comments or does something that bothers..but i jump at such situations and spoil my mood..
     
  8. sundarusha

    sundarusha Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Gowri,

    I was waiting for you to ask about dakshinai. Now you are stuck.
    You know how much I admire Obama, I asked hubby if he would take me to the inauguration in Jan. Hubby nodded his head saying that accommodations are getting filled up fast in DC for the inauguration. :hide:

    Just kidding...
     
  9. sundarusha

    sundarusha Gold IL'ite

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    Yes Supriya. It does help growing up in a large family. One of my uncles had a lot of brothers and sisters and they lived as joint family. All the members used to be accommodative with each other, even in simple daily routines as using showers etc.
    Don't worry, you have already become aware that you are reacting to situations that does not bother your hubby.. so you will soon learn in no time.
     
  10. Gowri66

    Gowri66 Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Usha.... :hiya

    You are most welcome to our place !! We will be happy , I am serious !! :)
     

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