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laugh today

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by queenathome, May 18, 2007.

  1. queenathome

    queenathome New IL'ite

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    <TABLE style="WIDTH: 100%" cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; WIDTH: 100%; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" width="100%">



    <TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt">
    Subject: FW: DON'T MESS WITH KIDS

    little kid walks into a taxi and sits right behind the driver and
    starts
    yelling,
    ''If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.''
    The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with,
    ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a
    little
    Elephant.''
    The kid goes on with several animals until the taxi driver gets angry<SCRIPT><!--D(["mb","\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\n\n\u003cp\>\u003cfont size\u003d\"3\" color\u003d\"black\" face\u003d\"Century Gothic\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12.0pt\"\>and yells at the kid, ''What if your dad was a drunker\nand your mom was\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\n\n\u003cp\>\u003cfont size\u003d\"3\" color\u003d\"black\" face\u003d\"Century Gothic\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12.0pt\"\>a prostitute?!''\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\n\n\u003cp\>\u003cfont size\u003d\"3\" color\u003d\"black\" face\u003d\"Century Gothic\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:12.0pt\"\>The kid smiles and says, ''I would be a taxi driver!''\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\n\n\u003cp\>\u003cfont size\u003d\"5\" color\u003d\"teal\" face\u003d\"Maiandra GD\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:16.0pt;color:teal\"\>*\u003c/span\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/p\>\n\n\u003c/div\>\n\n\n\u003cfont size\u003d\"1\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:8pt;color:gray;font-family:Arial\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:8pt;color:gray;font-family:Arial\"\>\u003cfont size\u003d\"1\"\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin:0in 0in 0pt\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:8pt;color:gray;font-family:Arial\"\>This message is subject \nto certain restrictions and qualifications which are contained in our email \ndisclaimer which is available on our website at \u003c/span\>\u003cu\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:8pt;font-family:Arial\"\>\u003ca title\u003d\"http://www.edcon.co.za/Edcon/Disclaimer\" href\u003d\"http://www.edcon.co.za/Edcon/Disclaimer\" target\u003d\"_blank\" onclick\u003d\"return top.js.OpenExtLink(window,event,this)\"\>www.edcon.co.za/Edcon/Disclaime\u003cWBR\>r\u003c/a\>\u003c/span\>\u003c/u\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:8pt;color:gray;font-family:Arial\"\> or from the Group \nSecretary on (011) 495-6000.\u003c/span\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:8pt\"\>\u003c/span\>\u003c/p\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin:0in 0in 0pt\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:8pt\"\>\u003cfont color\u003d\"#000000\"\>\u003cfont face\u003d\"Times New Roman\"\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/font\>\u003c/span\>\u003c/p\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin:0in 0in 0pt\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:8pt;color:gray;font-family:Arial\"\>The disclaimer also \nprovides our corporate information and names of our directors as required by \nlaw.\u003c/span\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:8pt;color:gray\"\>\u003c/span\>\u003c/p\>\n\u003cp style\u003d\"margin:0in 0in 0pt\"\>\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size:8pt;color:gray;font-family:Arial\"\>The \ndisclaimer is deemed to form part of this message in terms of Section 11 of the \nElectronic Communications and Transactions Act, \n2002.",1]);//--></SCRIPT>
    and yells at the kid, ''What if your dad was a drunker and your mom was
    a prostitute?!''
    The kid smiles and says, ''I would be a taxi driver!''







    DADDY'S GONNA EAT YOUR FINGERS

    This one is for everyone who...

    a) Had kids
    b) Has kids
    c) Is going to have kids
    d) Knows a kid
    e) Was a kid

    I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, "Daddy, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers.

    Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers," pretending to eat them.

    I went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.

    I said, "What's wrong, honey?"

    She replied, "What happened to my snot???"

     
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