Laugh A While

Rekindling Fire in old age

How couples can rekindle fire and passion after years of togetherness

-A few Tips.

The very first word ‘rekindling’ of the heading indicates the fact that fire and passion have diminished if not died in the relationship of a couple. Passion in marital relationships means a strong desire to love - physical or just by cuddling. Or does it mean something else? The fact remains that this fire and passion are not directly related to aging. It happens with young couples also. Passion is a strength but it can be a weakness also. I am however constrained to reign in my imagination to aging people only as it is being sent to +55 magazine.

Physical need is as natural as an emotional need. Surprisingly both need not coexist. One can have a physical relationship without any emotional attachment. It may be in the form of a one-night stand or any other form. Men and women get attracted to each other for no reason except physical. Even platonic love has its roots in gender differentiation. After a while, physical love with the same person starts taking a back seat. As we age in years we also age in our concept of passion.

HERE ARE THE TIPS

1. Candle Light Dinners cool place.

Aha, those evenings, the era of load shedding which the Americans call outage, and what we experienced as electrical switches behaving the same way in on or off position termed as ‘no power’. Those were the nights of candlelight dinners. Almost every dinner at home was a candlelight dinner. Then the battery-operated inventors came around 1980 and the candlelight dinners went. One or two years of aging in life can mean a lot and now it is 2019 and you can run your horses. Now if you ask for a candlelight dinner she would go aghast and look at you with a look-have you have gone mad? She has other plans- ‘Satsang’ with neighborhood retirees.

Try anyway.

2. You look great!

Not very long ago or was it very- very long ago? It was always a sure-shot clincher. Whatever she adorned herself with looked always good on her clothes, jewelry, makeup, and hairstyle. You would just say ‘you look great’ and there she was squeezing herself within her slim and trim body. Now she can be angry because you ventured to bulge out those clinchers. Time to go to a wedding ceremony. You uttered those words in honest appreciation. Did you hear any word starting with or even indicating P?

Try anyway.

3. Help to relieve the pain.

There were times she complained of some back pain or it was just a hunch and you volunteered to rub Move/Iodex. It was such a great joy. Now she complains of a heavy head and you volunteer to apply Amritaanjan on her forehead. She vehemently shakes her head and murmurs something to suggest she knows what you would do next. Now, all that you wanted was to help her relieve her pain. There were times she begged of you to apply some pain reliever on her back and now even her forehead is out of bound.

Try anyway.

4. Accept a dinner invite.

Weekend dinners and drinks at friends’ places were always fun. We looked forward to it. In return we also invited friends. The evenings were full of tidbits on all subjects on earth. And, to kill the boredom, you ask if you can invite Mr. and Mrs. X for dinner on the weekend. ‘No’ would be the long and short answer. You knew it, you knew it. She has not forgotten the last meeting when Mrs. X made some loaded comments about her figure and graying hair.

Try anyway.

5. Arrange a family get-together.

Family get-together at intervals at theirs or our place was rejuvenating. It added spice to life. It bonded the relationships. Later on, you talked or whispered, depending on the time of the day or night, giggled at theirs or your idiotic manners. To live those days again, you suggest to have a family get together and pat came the reply whose family-yours or mine?. You haltingly say yours. Again a big ‘no’. Next time you will ask for your family and I do not want to take that risk’.

Try anyway.


6. Cuddle, cuddle, cuddle……

It worked in those days. She woke up fresh in the morning. She still will like it, you hope so, though not tried for long. The last time it was put to test ended in a verbal one-sided duel. She, however, woke up fresh.

Try anyway.


7. A romantic sojourn.

It helped in the past so much that you were always packed up to leave the home on a small pretext. And if you have a traveling job, it is a bonus on the side. But then came the children and the bindings attached to that. Then children grew wings and flew to the directions they chose. Goa was a fav. (pun intended). Those lovely beaches with lovely couples, Fenni on the rock with tasty Goan seafood on beachside joints!!!. Now if you suggest, the reply will be -I know why you are so keen to go to Goa or Mauritius-to watch those half-naked dames on the beaches. Forget it.

Try anyway.

8. Do something funny.

It made her tumble on sides with laughter when you tried those antics to please like singing some romantic filmy song. No prize for guessing. It was not the song that made her laugh. It was your throat. You try to do it now in the bathroom as there is no way you can do it in the bedroom. You are advised to stop it as it will damage my vocal cords and medical bills will go up.

Try anyway.

This is the minimum I can do on an honorary basis. Those interested in more tips particularly intimate types can contact me directly.

Conditions apply.

 

Dear Balaji,
This is for seniors in age but young at heart, like you. Senior couples living alone feel so lonely at times.