KalyanaRaman

radsahana · Mar 1, 2010

We all have come across them at one or the other marriages. We have praised them, thanked them appreciated them, and remembered them more than anyone else, for that matter we forgot the face of groom/bride, but we will vividly recollect them.

Yes they are none other than one of the sursurpu=(agile) "Mama" (=uncle) or Mami (=aunty) from girls side. I said girls side, bcoz normally girls side arranges all the marriage programmes and functions and they have to welcome the grooms side. Maybe nowadays the elaborate functions was given way to, the quick and short registered marriage and a quick lunch or dinner party.

But dont you think the old traditional way of marriage go its own charm, all the relatives coming together and unwinding with old days talk,:wave meeting each other after longtime. The mandapam is resonating with the sounds of Kids playing with the cousins,:crazy with fun and frolic. Teenagers trying to form a group and tyring to outsmart the boys side or vice versa.:thumbsdownLadies in their dazzling silk sarees, comparing the jewels of each other with exaltation. :cool2:Some group of mens enthralled in playing cards, I think main reason they attend the marriages is to satisfy their thirst of this game. . Grandma and Grandpas, forming their own groups, regaling each other about their grand kids, or narrating their own marriage anecdotes.

Ok, let me come back to the main topic, about the Sursurupu Personality. This person, male or female will be the near or distant relative of the girls side. They will take upon them the entire responsibility of getting things done. No no they dont do this with any prior contracts.Its very natural and akin to their personality. They are just happy to help and gets things rolling in the marriage function. Due to this they automatically get noticed evne by grooms side.

If from the boys side, some old "pati" (=granny) wants some urgent medicine, they will say,ok let ask the "Raman mama" or "Bhanu mami"(our sursurupu mamma or mami). Immediately, he/she will set on task, he/she will catch hold of some boy and ask him to bring the medicine.

somehow you find it easy to relate to them,talk to them and ask them, without any inhibition. Their body language relays that everyone and every task is welcomed by them.

If somewhere in the hall, the fan is not working, he/she will be summoned, bcoz, the work will be done soon, by whatever means.

Harried brides father will confide,that the caterer is refusing to cook certain dish demanded by grooms side, immediately our "RM"or "BM", will set on task, with tact and sweetness he/she will convince the caterer to dole out the dish. Dont ask the secret of what he/she must have promised to the Caterer .

They will be having all the things handy,even if not they will swish it like a magic, and voila u got it. For 2-3 days of marriage they will be relentlessly running around, without taking a break, catering to all the demands of everyone, without flinching, or grimacing.

When all ends well, they are more happier then anyone. They dont wait for anyone to applaud them, or praise them, it just the satisfaction they get, from all went well, that beams upon their face. But yes at the end of the day they have captured our hearts with their affable and helpful manner.:thumbsup

Tubelight · Mar 1, 2010

Hi Rads !
Reading this was like attending a full blown traditional wedding ! Loved it. The nadaswaram is ringing in my ears as i type this !

What will we ever do without these R. Mamas and B.Mamis ! They are the pillars supporting our functions. In every family one or two members automatically become such highly sought after moral and physical supportsystems.
But you know Radhika, now a days, a new kind of Support System is mushrooming in metros here. The Wedding Planners ! A turnkey arrangement , you just pay and relax ( actually, if you hear their fees, its not so relaxing !). The bride's people dont even have to prepare aarti water ! I think this trend must have started when some unappreciated R. Mama or B. Mami got the bright idea of going into business ! :biggrin2:

Enjoyed reading :thumbsup

iyerviji · Mar 1, 2010

Dear Radha

When I read your post I felt I am seeing a marriage and Kalyana Rama running around to cater everyone's needs. When the whole marriage is over then only they rest. Without them the marriage is not complete. Long live Kalyana Ramans.

After reading Mindi's post I remembered that I forgot to write about my husband , who is always at his toes during any marriages, whether it is his own or his friend's marriages. He does not believe in giving contract to anyone. He will buy all the things necessary himself and arrange for the marriage.

love
viji

Soldier · Mar 1, 2010

Hi Radhika,

nice read. As I was going through I could immediately relate the surusuruppu Mama in my marriage. That was none other than my own Athimbs (cousin sis's hubby). U ask and it was! .. this was how he managed the show. He was of great help and still is to us - his moral support. I can openly share any of my feelings with him. I call him A2. Because I had two BILs. If I say Athimbair, both would turn. So I numbered them. He has become A2 for our whole family. Even if my DD picks up the phone, she would say Amma A2 ma. He loves being called that way.

Yaar u can see such persons - I have mostly seen only Mamas (or may be mamis did not fascinate me!!!!). Nowadays there r really missing as TL has observed, thanks to the mushrooming Wedding Event Management Groups. They also try to compete with each other. Last week I attended a wedding where at the entrance along with the haldi kumkum at the reception itself, there were kutty kutty cute bags artistic ones, containing handful of akshathais to bless the couple. Senior citizens corner - Pappu Mammu and Thachi Mammu counters for the kids and what not?

This generation there is definitely a revolution in each and every sphere no?

natpudan · Mar 2, 2010

Radhika,

Really a great satisfaction these people have in helping with out being asked to.

These days it's becoming lesser & lesser.

You have really captured those moments very well.

In our marriage we had many such wonderful human hearts to make the marriage a success, the reason being, the then DMK government was dismissed the previous night & the whole of Madurai was non-functional.

But the marriage went on well and thanks to all those individuals.

Thanks for reminding one such beautiful incident, I didn't mean the wedding itself but the ceremony. Ha Ha Ha.

ashwiniks79 · Mar 2, 2010

Hey Radhika,
Nice post. Loved reading it. Like many of them have written here, such people are becoming less in present day society. Usually now it is all contract based weddings and you dont have to worry about any thing if you have money, but no money can beat the help rendered by a person of your family who actually conduct the whole weddings.

:thumbsup to all of them who make the Big Fat Indian Weddings go on smoothly

Mindian · Mar 2, 2010

dear radhika,

yes yes yes...now I got a name for my father.He is just one of these mamas ....we tease him that appa is the one very disappointed with all these contract marriages that does not give him much to do.LOL. he is the youngest mama to a hoard of nieces and nephews and has enjoyed himself"arranging" their marriages.Much to my mothers grouse he would never be available during the time for a group picture hahaha

thanks for bringing back nostalgic memories of all my cousins weddings.yes they were REAL FUN !

radsahana · Mar 2, 2010

hey lakshmi

if the post was able to manage the effect of attending the full blown marriage, then i think the intended effect was achieved.

Yeah sure, nowadays everything is done professionallly, the catereres will be having uniformed girls and guys, serving juices and appetisers, hoarding our stomach so much, that the real food would be less inviting:rant . So much diplomacy on part of the caterers.

But the personal touch and warmth is lost forever, in the name of professionalism and contractors for everything.:bonk

radsahana · Mar 2, 2010

Dear viji mam,

Your husband is surely one of the KalyanaRaman (mama). Ofcourse i hope, he was not running around on his own marriage day (but the itch must have been there to get the things done by himself ). People like him, are really remembered, always,for their helpful nature and contagious warmth they exude.

radsahana · Mar 2, 2010

hi soldier

You are very lucky to have A2 in your life. Hope A1 is not J of him . But on a serious note, it is in time of difficult, you realise the value and importance of them, and you know that at any point of time, they will be always there for you. That is their core value.

Personal warmth and friendliness is lost, when the professionals manages the marriage ceremony. Have you seen their faces, with plastic smile or sometime none at all :bowdown.

i think the way the younger generation is evolving, "old and traditional type marriage will soon became a part of history, and kids will be hearing stories of it from grandma and grandpas.