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Jokes Corner

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by manjumnair, Nov 14, 2007.

  1. manjumnair

    manjumnair Silver IL'ite

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    A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card....

    "Rest in Peace."

    The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying

    ... "Congratulations on your new location !'"

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking:

    "What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?"

    Tom says: "I would switch one train to another track."

    "What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector.

    "Then I'd run down to the tracks and use the manual lever down there", answers Tom.

    "What if that had been struck by lightning?" challenges the inspector.

    "Then," Tom continued, "I'd run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box."

    "What if the phone was busy?"

    "In that case," Tom argued, "I'd run to the street level and use the public phone near the station".

    "What if that had been vandalized?"

    "Oh well," said Tom, "in that case I would run into town and get my Uncle Leo".

    This puzzled the inspector, so he asked, "Why would you do that?"

    "Because he's never seen a train crash."
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------
    There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money.

    He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, " Now listen, when I die I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. Because I want to take all my money to the after life."

    So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died she would put all the money in the casket with him. Well one day he died.

    He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black next to their best friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait A Minute!"

    She had a shoebox with her, she came over with the box and placed it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket and rolled it away.

    Her friend said, "I hope you weren't crazy enough to put all that money in there with that stingy old man."

    She said, " Yes, I promised.. I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him."

    "You mean to tell me you put every cent of his money in the casket with him?"

    "I sure did," said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into my account and I wrote him a check."

     
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  2. Arunarc

    Arunarc Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hahahahaha............ good ones Manju I liked the last one cool wife and clever too.
    She got the money too and kept her husband's promise too
     
  3. So Sure

    So Sure Senior IL'ite

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    Good one! Its like ... Keep the cake and eat it too!
    Regards,
    Sharada
     
  4. Meenaneelakantan

    Meenaneelakantan Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi

    nice ones yaar..the last one is too good..

    Regards,
    Meena.
     
  5. manjumnair

    manjumnair Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Aruna, Sharada and Meena,

    Thank You..... Even I liked the last one the most... Burst into laughter after reading that one in my mail box...
     
  6. gsaikripa

    gsaikripa Gold IL'ite

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    Good one. I also enjoyed the last joke.
     
  7. Moonbeams

    Moonbeams Bronze IL'ite

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    lovely.......indeed very smart,itelligent,brilliant n dutiful wife....:party
     
  8. ksuji

    ksuji Gold IL'ite

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    all jokes are very nice!
     

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