joint(Iinlaws) gift for hubby for his bday

Anamika99 · Sep 3, 2014

So this happens every year.....

my MIl asks as it comes around my hubby's birthday

what do we want to give him? (i mean really? why do you presume i want to give joint gift?)

It is not about money....if they want to buy something and needs money and tell me that he please take us there we want to shop, i will be happy to...

but she asks me as if it is my responsibility to find a perfect gift on behalf of them all...and give as joint gift , what if i do not want to give joint gift...my problem is they do not take efforts to come up with ideas....and do nto come prepared....

even when i threw a big party for my DH for his 40th bday...i gave him a special gift , it was all my planned, all research i did, i figure what he wants (he does not have much hobbies so it becomes a challeneg to fin something for him)

and that year also question came and i said I am giving this item, so she said great idea, let;s give it (huh? ...did not u hear 'I am ' part?)

Of course if i want to give something privately, i can besides the joint gift but what i do not like is finding gift for them is imposed on me.....they never come up with ideas....

Today also she asked....so i said "he returns everything i give if expensive....so i have started just buying clothes n give him, so I will give clothes"

still she asks..."let's give him something nice..." i asked for ideas and then she went mum...

i mean why can't they figure their own gift? Or m i expecting too much?

pear · Sep 3, 2014

Dear op ,

There is no need for you to tell MIL what you wanted to gift your hubby.Just keep it as a secret.Ask your H in secret to suggest you on behalf of his family.Nobody wants to end up with useless gifts.This will relieve you of your duty.

yellowmango · Sep 3, 2014

This year ,tell her you are giving him a big wet passionate French kiss .

chillbreeze · Sep 3, 2014

Hi, I think its normal for any one to wish to give a special, separate gift to their spouse on his/her birthday. But as you said you can give a personal gift if you wish and the issue is sharing the gift ideas with your pils. May be your mil is not good in planning or thinking of good gift items and needs your help but doesn't want to ask it directly. You know how our likes and tastes evolve over the years and she may not know what her son will like and hence puts the responsibility on you. Either that or she wants you to put in the hardwork and take credit for it. But finding a joint gift and a personal gift is a tough task especially if your DH is not into hobbies. (I know...my DH is the same.) If your mil asks what are we going to give, tell her I haven't decided yet but if you want me to accompany you to choose a gift for him, I will be happy to do so. Keep repeating it every time she asks and eventually she will get it. If she says "let's gift him something nice", tell you can't think of anything right now, she can let you know if she thinks of something and you will buy it.

PS. I like YM's suggestion too...cheeky that one.

CharmingGirl · Sep 3, 2014

Hi op,

I would also go by chillbreeze's suggestion. Tell MIL that you have not decided yet and would accompany her if she needs help.

What if you give a separate gift to your DH? Why not try it once if it will not create too much issues at home? If MIL asks why you did not tell her, you can say that you just thought about this and wanted to keep it as a surprise to everybody. If you feel it will create too much misunderstandings between you and your MIL, just ignore this idea.

padmaja909 · Sep 3, 2014

yellowmango said: ↑

This year ,tell her you are giving him a big wet passionate French kiss .
Click to expand...

kneesmileywhat will happen to joint gift then? thinkingsmiley:rotfl

yellowmango · Sep 3, 2014

padmaja909 said: ↑

kneesmileywhat will happen to joint gift then? thinkingsmiley:rotfl
Click to expand...

They can stand behind him and give Ashirwad(blessings)with their hand on his head while she gives the kisshyyy!:biglaugh

jigisha321 · Sep 3, 2014

yellowmango said: ↑

They can stand behind him and give Ashirwad(blessings)with their hand on his head while she gives the kisshyyy!:biglaugh
Click to expand...

:rotfllaugh1smiley thanks for the post-lunch laughter treat , YM...awesome..

chillbreeze · Sep 3, 2014

YM...your reply made me :biglaugh:rotfl. Ideally the couple will be holding each other, so ils can stand a feet away and give their blessings with their hand raised, like they show in old movies.

Shina · Sep 3, 2014

Yellowmango u r too much. :rotfl

Just a caution though it could backfire if OP says "i am going to give a passionate wet french kiss " and she says oh no lets give something nice this year :bonk.

Hey on a serious note just a thought came to my mind as to are they reluctant to say what to give as they know u r the one who is going to pay for it? If not, just say directly without mincing words that u urself are lost as to what to give so can they please come up with something this time.all the best.