Jai Rahul Baba

(This is dedicated to Akanksha 1982 whose thread on Rahul Gandhi drove my imagination in this direction)

Everyday I keep scanning the missing persons’ pictures on Doordarshan and in newspapers but this person has not been found even there though everybody is pulling their hairs over where the hell has he gone. Say hello to Rahul Gandhi, if you run into him.

Now no one knows his whereabouts but almost everyone has seen him somewhere or other. Some have seen him in Uttarakhand, some in Thailand and some in Italy. Amazing, he must have divine powers to be in different places at the same time.

That’s it!!!!!!!! Now I know the truth!! The key lies in his pet name Rahul Baba! He must have really become a baba and acquired the ability to be in different places at the same time. And such a baba is just what his family business Gandhi, Gandhi and Vadra (very very pvt) Limited, otherwise known as Congress Party needs.

The poor party is now on life support systems that are failing and only a miracle can save it and to perform a miracle and make it stand up and deliver it needs a miracle man, that is a baba.

I lean towards the theory that Rahul Baba has gone to Uttarakhand, to the Himalayas like a true baba to acquire spiritual strength. To stand up to the ruling BJP and resists the inroads of Aam AAdmi party, which by the way it is going will have anything to do with Aam only during the mango season, the party needs a drastic, miraculous revamp .

From a family business with the mortal remains of a political party attached to it, it should morph into a baba organisation with a political party as a subsidiary for it to challenge BJP which is a political party with babas and babes (female babas).

Before that Rahul Baba would need some training. He needs to hire a magician and learn sleight of hand tricks like materializing everything from sacred (?) ash to vermillion from his sleeve. If he wants to woo someone rich and is convinced that his investment will pay rich dividends he can materialize even diamond necklaces, Cartier watches and Mont Blanc pens.

Hey wait! But isn’t materializing things passé’? People have seen enough of the materialization stuff and are bound to remain unimpressed unless the baba materializes an elephant. So the recent way augment the flock is to make a movie like baba Gurmit Ram Rahim Singh Insaan of Dera Sacha Sauda (or is it Insaan Singh? Are there non-Insaan Singhs too?).

Gurmit baba called his movie MSG and Rahul can call his NACl (acronym for Not A Common Leader) . In it he can be shown bashing up an entire armies of goons single handedly and running around trees serenading heroines with songs. Don’t be silly, you would say. How can a gdman be seen running behind heroines even though that’s what many of them do in real life? My dear chaps, haven’t you heard of the dream sequence? The girls are free to dream about romancing Rahul Baba.

Believe me it is a surefire recipe for political success. If you don’t believe it just coax Rajnikant into entering politics. See how he upsets the applecart of many Tamil Nadu political parties.

And becoming a baba is a great option for a long-time bachelor like Rahul. You see bachelors are a maligned lot. People tend to view them either as Casanovas who don’t want to be burdened by a wife while they merrily have affairs or as gays. If Rahul becomes a true baba speculations will be silenced unless and until some enterprising Joe sneaks into the bedroom with a video camera.

Now for his costume. Being secular he should have nothing to do with saffron. Instead he should opt for either yellow or ochre robes.

Now what message would Rahul baba have for his gullible oops sorry devout followers. Profound silence would be the message. His silence would really gull people into believing that he is a true spiritual leader and bring him currency notes and his party votes. If he opens his mouth he has the unfortunate tendency to make the crowds melt away.

Ideally this new baba who would appear on India’s spiritual horizon should open his mouth only to eat and drink, brush his teeth and in case of emergency to vomit..In short a true moun baba in every respect.

If he has trouble playing this role, there is help at hand. There is one Manmohan Singh (If you jog your memory a bit, you would remember that he is the former PM of India) who would be happy to coach Rahul Baba how to keep his lips sealed.






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Kamalji I will tel you why there are so few comments. Ilites don't like to read two blogs on the same subject following each other in quick succession. Mine followed Akanksha's. She had a goodly number of comments. all these people obviously didn't want to comment again on the same subject. I will give you another example I wrote a thread on the Daughter of India film. I am still receiving comments that have crossed the 3000 mark. But within a day of my posting it my daughter also posted her views on it in a thread. No comments on her thread though on the other site her blog has more views and comments than mine.

 

Malstorm be careful where you read it otherwise you might get into trouble.

 

Scorpio, i suspect NaCl will be boycotted by BJP and AAP, But ordinary lay viewer may be interested to watch what was meant to be a serious movie but could have lot of unintended humour.

 

Great idea Akanksha if we can have a Ram Rahim Singh Baba why not John, Jani Janardhan Baba? You will make a great adviser for Rahul oops sorry John Jani Janardhan baba.