It happens only to me!!! Does it?

TomAndJerry · Apr 10, 2011

I dont know if nuclear families give us a chance to blurt out all our feelings and anger and thus help us relieve from stress or its because we have that freedom to shout, we make big issues out of small thingns and keep brooding over the same for weeks together!

But one thing is sure, if you are in joint family and are surrounded by people who care for you, you are likely to be less stressed.

From the past many weeks or since marriage I keep thinking, these type of things happen to only me! or I feel, something must be wrong with me, thats why I feel so disgusted!.. so on and so forth...

After 5 years of marriage, when you keep seeing the fact that, now onwards this is my home, this is where I belong, me my DH and my kids, you really dont feel like sharing everything with your mom or siblings. You dont want to complain to them about minor things about husband. But keeping them in your head, not sharing with anyone and men as such never understand whats going on in Women's mind.. all these things pile up over head so much that we keep carrying a big weight and I am sure it affects our health a lot.

So I was getting upset over so many things from past few months. First of all I am not working, staying at home all the 24 hours, and I dont even get time to check my mails regularly, I just cant do some work continuously for an hour. Even though my DH takes care of her, and does her work like giving bath or keeping her engaged etc.. she demands for me when he is around, and demands for him when I am around, so we have to keep shifting, and I cant do any work properly.. not even cooking or even having food. Though its the same with husband, atleast he is out of home for nearly 8-9 hours.

So I was angry over so many things and everything came out like an atom bomb when I missed one interview which I was supposed to attend last week. I was under the impression may be my DH forgot all about it, so he is not mentioning it! After sending the daughter to school I asked him, do you know when is my interview? He says, yes I know today!!

You knew it, still you did't even feel like talking about it?? He says I felt bad that I could't get the printout of the forms you had to take, so I did't sleep whole night!!

So what if you could not get it, atleast you could have talked about it..

He says come on dont make big issue of it now, you did not show so much interest.. if you were interested you should have attended!!!

I got so angry, sad, felt bad, etc etc... I wanted to run away from home, atleast for few hours! I could not do that, as one of our friend's daughter was admitted to hospital and I thought its our priority to help them, so I was busy in preparing food for them, and sending that to hospital etc...

This is becoming too long... will continue.. probably tomorrow...

senzzation · Apr 11, 2011

I think it happens to all of us. Sometimes a lot of emotions just pile up & like you said, we don't speak abt them to anyone else ... either becos we don't want them to worry or out of pride ... and then one day everything comes bursting out. Most of the times, we regret our outbursts later but by then it's too late.

sreemanavaneeth · Apr 11, 2011

Dear TJ,

You just come out from your circle. Open your opinion and immediately deliver it donot pile up your emotions which in turn spoil your health and mind. if you are in a stress sit and close your eyes for 5 minutes your body and mind will be calm and you feel a change. DO NOT ACCUMULATE YOUR FEELINGS. Nice you have shared it.
BE HAPPY AND AWAY FROM OUTBURST.

SuccessMinded · Apr 13, 2011

Hi Dear,

I read your blog and I can say I understand what you are feeling. However, I don't agree with it.
I think there are so many various forms of expressing emotions. It does not necessarily have to be just to mom or siblings or husband.
Whenever you are very very upset, do something that makes you very happy and you can get immersed in.
I write letters, not type it in computer, but write it on paper by hand. I say everything I want to say, how hurt I feel, how bad such and such is.. etc!
And voila! I feel so much better...
It is not like I cannot share bad things about my DH to my mom or siblings, but the problem is tomorrow you will forget about this fight, but they will remember. Husband wife keep getting angry and become best friends again. But thye will judge your DH based on what you tell about him.
If you like painting, let your emotions flow through that.
If you like knitting or sewing, do that.
Whatever, makes you happy.
Remember it is in your hands how you feel. It is your decision!

TomAndJerry · Apr 15, 2011

Thank you all for the positive energy

Yes successminded I thought of writing down, again I did't want to write it in paper, as I am afraid somebody would read it.. so I wrote a mail to myself..a different id!!

But yes, writing on paper would be more effective.

I too agree that, if we complain to mom and siblings, they remember it for longer duration and judge us on those complaints.. so I dont want to tell them..