Issue with my MIL - Need suggestions

Like other have pointed out, please consult a doctor soon. Dont crib over these things and damage the relations with your dh.

I have also lost my parents at a very young age. My mother had colorectal cancer (at the age when I was 20 and still studying). Her rectum was removed and she passed stools through an incision made in her abdomen. There was a bag for collecting the stools, which I emptied 3 times everyday, once before going to college, once after coming back and before sleeping. Induce stools in the morning and drain her intestine. The toilet used to stink and I also did the exact same things you mentioned for my mom. She would only allow me to touch her and carry out the routine procedures. She felt terrible and often lost her temper but nevertheless that was the only option and I never once felt bad for doing this for my mom. These things do take a toll on you but if we consider those people as our own, we will do it willingly

Please understand that 85 years is a long time. I am so irritable at this age that i cannot begin to imagine how I will be at that age. You have the facility of arranging for a made or hire a wardboy or an aaya who can clean up the toilets etc. Like dr.Preethi mentioned, why cant the elder BIL take care of their mom for few days? She is his mother as much as she is to your dh.

Take care and be patient:thumbsup

 

hello, it is really sad to hear your story. i would suggest you to join your MIL to nightingales old age centre where they will either appoint a 24 hour nurse or just a day care lady. the service is also very good your MIL also wont feel bad. it is in bangalore west. enquire for details.

 

banujaga -

I am glad that we could help with suggestions. I do want to echo the importance of your MIL having a medical exam as soon as possible, because there can be many medical reasons (tumors, infections, Parkinson's related dementia, etc), and not just Alzheimer's Disease, that cause dementia or behavioral problems in the aged. Even though history of what is going on is usually more than 50% the indicator for diagnosis, she needs a thorough physical exam and tests - to make sure she has no ongoing infection (such as a bladder infection which is NOTORIOUS for causing confusion and behavioral problems in the elderly), no malnutrition, and no tumor or medical/neurological issue of the brain.

And all the while, it'll be most helpful for your MIL and your family to arrange round-the-clock help and a regular schedule for your MIL. She is very fortunate to have family invested in her care. Wishing you all the very best!
:thumbsup

 

Kudos Banuja

As long as there are people like you in this world, it will be a better place to live. After reading our suggestions, you not even once defended yourself, you accepted that you were at mistake about your MIL and now your are ready to help her.

Your MIL is really fortunate to have a DIL like you. You are a very nice human being and all my best wishes are with you.

May god bless you dear and make all your dreams come true.

 

Tulip, Banu hats off to you ladies for having the worlds patience and right attitude towards dealing with such grace.

I just recalled the faces I make while cleaning diapers for my kids or when they mess around the entire house.