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Is this Right or Wrong

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by helpmeplz, Jul 20, 2015.

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  1. Jul 21, 2015 #21
    yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Some sicknesses are easier to deal with as a caregiver because the sick person is either sick and sleeping or too weak to be be argumentative. Problems like sore throat and related fever make the sick person cranky ,irritable ,sleepless but still with the will and energy to argue and be a general pain in the neck.
     
    yellowmango, Jul 21, 2015
    yellowmango, Jul 21, 2015
    #21
    sindmani likes this.
  2. Jul 21, 2015 #22
    helpmeplz

    helpmeplz Junior IL'ite

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    He didn't anything i cooked , even after asking him once again in the morning for coffee , idly , he didn't anything in the morning too , but in the afternoon guess he was veryhungry he cooked noodles and ate them ,
    I was angry too so i said me and my mother also won't eat any thing ,
    He didn't respond even when we didn't eat , he only said don't try to blackmail if you are hungry just eat and he will take care of his food
    He is lucky , he just received food packet from india with sweets and snacks , he eat them

    In the night , i fought with him again for a long time saying his behavior is not good and said we are starving for him and he is eating
    he said i have to say sorry , than only he will eat what i cook ,
    i had to say sorry , but again fought with him that he will have to say sorry for all the after affect
    but he said he only will say sorry for shouting on me , but for rest of all he didn't say sorry

    Than i said we will compromise only on food for now and for other's until you say sorry we won't talk

    at last at 10 , we ate our first meal of the day , watching a movie on survival in netflix

    today , he started talking nice and again things are back to normal
     
    helpmeplz, Jul 21, 2015
    helpmeplz, Jul 21, 2015
    #22
  3. Jul 21, 2015 #23
    kanthtx

    kanthtx Gold IL'ite

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    @helpmeplz - stop being a drama queen... seriously he asked for some pappu charu and u have the amazing talent to make it into a bigh fight..

    u shud hav said u r also tired as u r taking care of him all night and ask him if he can get some charu from indian restaurant and have it... no ... he is sick and he works all day long, and he wants to eat some fresh food, not some stale food from refirgerator and on top of it u keep nagging...

    hav some common sense and the next time u cannot provide something he asks for, just ask him to get something from outside... 8.40 at night all restaurants are damn open and they will also serve him...
     
    kanthtx, Jul 21, 2015
    kanthtx, Jul 21, 2015
    #23
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  4. Jul 21, 2015 #24
    yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Good.

    OP this post of yours took me back in time when I used to teach in a play school.shakehead
     
    yellowmango, Jul 21, 2015
    yellowmango, Jul 21, 2015
    #24
    sindmani, Denni and (deleted member) like this.
  5. Jul 22, 2015 #25
    pear

    pear Gold IL'ite

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    Dear op,

    Arguing to a sick hungry person is totally insane.

    When men fell sick they hate to be told what to eat and what not to eat.Salt water gargling is good for the infected throat,but my dh hates it.So i fill a big flask with hot water for drinking and let him decide about the gargling part as he knows more about his throat condition than me.Sweets give instant energy ,so when we are sick our body craves for it.I ask upfront what he prefers/believes is good for him during a particular sickness (saves us from endless complaints about the side effects of the given food).

    You have your mom with you to help and its natural for your dh to miss his mom.Why your mom was held responsible for cooking parupu when she is not upto the task and later to the fasting dharna(you brought her name yourself into the mess)?its not fair for your mom to be dragged into the tiff bet dh-you.You had unnecessarily caused a misunderstanding bet dh -mom.All your arguments now would be blamed to your moms presence.You made it look like a mom-daug duo against him.

    You tend to magnify your problem by acting like a drama queen.Beware your dh too started using your tech.......not good for the peace of your family.Why so much of drama for a simple disagreement ? ..............next time dont add serious issues to the small ones.A simple sorry with a hug in the morning could have solved the whole issue smoothly.Now its settled ,go and ask sorry to your mom for using your mom as a go bet in your fight with dh.Make sure to compensate her with more behavior sense in future .
     
    pear, Jul 22, 2015
    pear, Jul 22, 2015
    #25
    sindmani, yellowmango and (deleted member) like this.
  6. Jul 22, 2015 #26
    deeprapriya

    deeprapriya Gold IL'ite

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    @helpmeplz - You are unnecesarily dragging the fight but good that ended.. Your husband is really a good person but you are giving a tuff time....

    He just asked pappu sambhar.... if you would have said, "ok, I will make for you dear", the problem was over... atelast you could have told him, am so tired dear, please get from outside, he would have been happy and h wud have adjusted....

    Unnecessarily, u brought your mother inside the scene and made her also uncomfortable.... once in a while when he is sick, u cud have cooked and there wont be any issues....

    Now also, you are trying to point at him saying, " Me and my mom are not eating, and you are happily eating".... it is childish.... why your mom have to starve in hunger... its your fight.... you dont have to starve to make him feel guilt.... Have a good communication....and handle things in a matured way!!!!...

    Dont bring fights unnecessarily, otherwise the happiness will vanish....
     
    deeprapriya, Jul 22, 2015
    deeprapriya, Jul 22, 2015
    #26
    sindmani, yellowmango and (deleted member) like this.
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