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Is There An Age To Start Deep Friendship? How Did You Meet Your Best Friend

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by gamma50g, Jun 21, 2023.

  1. gamma50g

    gamma50g Gold IL'ite

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    There are people who are blessed with great childhood friends - with whom they can share everything. For all others:

    Is there an age to connect and have deep friendships?

    When and how did you meet your best friend.
     
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  2. drdiva

    drdiva Silver IL'ite

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    Yet to meet one. As human beings we are just sufficient to cater to our and our family's needs and maybe do some charity by helping others who have limited resources. Even emotionally people are not available as there is this instant comparison in their mind. So I don't feel I will be able to find a true friend ever.
     
  3. sociallifein30s

    sociallifein30s Gold IL'ite

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    i think its tough to maintain a deep friendship while life happens.

    I had a bunch of great friends in college... we all had breakups ...but everyone else found a good partner and got married, had children , my best friend chose to be a stay at hom mom.
    I on the other hand ...kept failing relationship after relationship .... then a bad marriage...
    by the tim I was going around courts , every single one of the friends had either post partum or feeding troubles or inlaws, house purchase etc and had nothing common with me... everyone just said "keep adjusting"

    We did catch up a few years later and we had nothing to talk about. I felt awkward when she was giggly-talking about hubby dearest and the flowers and gifts.. her face fell when I talked about my office events or appreciations or politics and all of that... so we had to avoid those topics.

    The crux is to have something in common to have that support system. I may need people who vent on certain troubles and my friend needed different kind of experiences
    and we drfted off.
     
  4. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    One cannot start a deep friendship or any relationship.It has to be organic and it will jsut click.You won’t even feel the need to make an effort but the vibe and energy will be so great that things will happen.

    People change and friendships change.Nobody is right or wrong. I learnt the problem was only my expectations with people. Most of the time people are very superficial and nothing wrong with that.Most don’t have enough time or mental energy. It is better to be detached and accept people for who they are.

    Without expectations and more acceptance ..magic happens:)
     
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  5. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    I agree with @anika987 there is no date of birth for beginning or commencing a "deep" friendship right away.
    Initially it is always only an acquaintance and it may either get nicked in the bud or snow balling or blossom slowly & steadily over a period of time depending upon the aggregate good-feel. To transform an acquaintance to friendship to bosom type it may take decades.
    Few pals get chummy & thick for sometime but change of location or job or even marriage hinders the friendship to turn deep or bosom-like.
    A friend in need is a friend indeed. I hv friends who materialise the moment I need a huge succour. Out of my seven bosom friends, in the last five years four have departed from this planet.

    We bosom-seven are/were family friends.

    I hv since 1961, a college met R and our amiship is almost 6 decades old. We know each other and can easily know what would be decision of the other in given circumstances. Our level of amiship is envied by others and even by our family members.
    I hv anecdotes involving my bosom friends - a few of them which I had narrated in separate threads. One such is in link
    Padma, Pomeranins & Bhopal Gas Leak
    There is always a rapturous experience when one hears or listens to the voice of bosom friend - live or recorded - and if the friend is arriving home to meet, then I simply turn ecstatic.
    Thanks for this lovely topic on which I can write volumes.
    Regards.
     
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  6. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Psychology
    Of
    Palship

     
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  7. Ragavisang

    Ragavisang Gold IL'ite

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    I feel very lucky to have friendship bondings still alive from school, university and after my marriage and it is playing a major role in my life.

    School life- 4 of us were very good friends but one drifted away on the way. But 3 of us have a tight knit relationship till today. Out of 3 , 2 of us joined the same college/University after school and we see each other everyday no matter what. That friend is my chweeet hubby:grinning: . Other one is in touch with us regularly.

    College Life- 6 of us were close friends and till date we maintain the same sweet relationship with the other 4. We always revive our College days fun when we talk couple of times in a month. It’s a laughing therapy for all of us.

    After Marriage- I met my loving friend at Indian grocers, she came to me and complimented my kurti and we instantly connected. I never shared my phone number with strangers but that was the first time I shared my number with her but never called her. After a year she called me to chat with me, from that day onwards we talk everyday and she is my go to person to complain about my husband when we fight. But not even one time she supported me:argue: , she always remind me how good my husband is :facepalm:. My hubby named sweet pongal - sakkarai pongal for divorce. I was so immatured :BangHead: (not now) even for small fights I ask Sakkarai pongal. Luckily those days are gone.

    I have 3 more friends from my higher studies ( one is super senior and other one is prof’s wife and the last one is 10 years old at that time. )and still continuing their friendship.So age doesn’t matter.

    Bad apples- Yes lots of bad apples after marriage, purely because of comparing us with their life partners. Because of that I went on depression for couple of times as usual my hubby and loving friend were rescued me from those mental tortures. Overall I feel very lucky and content to have very few but life long friends in my life.

    According to me in any relationship not only friendship trust and loyalty play a crucial role. So friendship can happen at any age:cheer:. மூழ்காத ஷிப்பே friendship தான்:roflmao:.
     
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  8. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    I enjoyed reading your response here. God bless your tight knit pals and your DH & YOU.
     
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  9. gamma50g

    gamma50g Gold IL'ite

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    Wonderful to see you blessed with good tight knit friends. They are so hard to come by
     
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  10. Ragavisang

    Ragavisang Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you for your time and blessings Sir. It means a lot to us.
    By the way I read Bhopal Gas leak snippet with the happy ending which makes me believe in supernatural powers.
     
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