Is spanking kids good or bad??

lalithasai · Jun 27, 2007

Kids can get annoying and are a sure test to one's patience at times. But is it right to spank them?

My opinion: Definitely NO

It's easier to make kids understand with a talk and mutual respect than to regret the violent anger. But if you have to deal with an extremely outside the scope kid, I guess "Adi Odhavra Mari, Annan Thambiyum Odhava Maata"(Even brothers can't help as much as a beatings can). But this must be the last resort to discipline and get the kids attention.

What do you say ladies?

sathya · Jun 27, 2007

hello

ya spare the rod and spoil the child they say...

i feel that you should begin from the beginning...communication is the key talk to the child right from day one...say anything you want him to understand feel or whatever...in due course he will understand anything you have to convey ....ofcourse there are times when the situation gets out of hand...and we have a rising temper...it would be advisable to talk to him even then...say ..hey you c i have been always fair with you now if you dont behave you will get a good spanking.. im warning you...dont tell me later that i didnt warn you....this sure makes the kid think twice about what he/she is doing and perhaps is warned that he may get a spanking....!!

sathya

lalithasai · Jun 27, 2007

Hi Sathya,

I agree with you. The talking should start from the very begining of childhood. I also feel that these days, parents obey their kids than kids listening to what parents say. Guess the control is lost from the begining.

karuth · Jun 30, 2007

Hi ladies,
As you say I too feel the same.

But i dont spank my 3 yr old son .his father does it.. So this kid obeys easily if his father says...But if I say :icon_frown: ....I hav tried to spank him rarely..but I am not able to mostly.Even if I spank he wont cry.(I think it wont hurt much).I shout at him :-( which is at times effective but I dont like.

Now my question is how to control him without spanking. I usually talk to him when he is in good mood about what he did bad and how and why not to repeat it.When he is hyper active even if I talk to him he wont get it in his ears.even if I say I will spank him he wont bother until I really go near him.

As you ppl say , I shouldnt lose control from now itself. Then how am I to control him when he is irritating more than limits , mainly in front of others.

bubye
karthika.

lalithasai · Jun 30, 2007

Hi Karthika,

You are very right. All kids are much more obedient to their Dad's whether they spank them or not. Don't bother it's just that Dad's always have their taboo lines but Mom's are too loving.

It's a good thing that you talk to him when he's in a good mood. Try and recall his behaviour when he gets uncontrollable. You are his Mom and you surely have a bigger hold in understanding him than his Dad. Think of better ways of handling like trying to relax him when you get intutive as and when he starts getting hyper. Divert his mind with smething that interests him better. If it's too late, just ignore him totally and leave him alone to do whatever he wants, he'll get bugged and behave himself. But make sure everyone at home co-operates with you. You can also try Time-Outs like in US.
Try warning him that you'll deny something he likes eg: take his fav toy or a possession and tell him that he would not get it for a month if he does not behave. And make it disappear for real if he continues misbehaving. He'll understand that u mean business. There are many solutions to handling active kids but they surely can be your love forever once you get the mantra of dealing with them.

All the best.