is sex a important part of HAPPY MARRIED LIFE?

Well written Malavika..
Just get back to shape. Groom yourself well and live your life. Be courteous to in laws/ out laws. Never give them your true feeling and keep them guessing. Honestly ignore everyone else but do dot your husband in private. Not too provocatively but caring . Subtle but not too obvious. You get it right.

Whenever you can you cook good food and ensure you serve it only. Wear clothes as per his choice and tell him as well. Keep the baby as the link. Things will change. In the meanwhile , don't ever complain abt inlaws to him( thats what Indusladies is for ). That will definitely drive him far far away from you.

For heaven's sake , stop asking him obviously. Like someone said, do have an eye for what he is doing till late in the night in the comp. Something sounds fishy.

 

Tanu, the current problem is fights and torture a DH faces when he's crushed between wife n mother. Just as the way women need a lot of love to get involved physically a man need not be reminded of dirty words/ allegations of his mother against his wife when he tries to approach her. All he feels is the pain of those negative words & with so much on head its really a task to make love.

Sex is not the only reason to keep anyone happy whether married or not..
Pls read my parallel post :
Relationship with Parents & Siblings
How does your mom decode your married life troubles?

A marriage needs to have some basic respect & space to keep love life on.... that's the first thing the unhappy MILs attack cos it definitely helps a DH & DW to burry their hatchet at the end of the day for mutual pleasure.. however if one falls victim of scehming then it becomes hard to come out of... and the weakest phase MILs find is childbirth.

As per many other posters yes there will always be a problem in YOU and YOU need to change, get back in shape etc etc, but believe me & remain confident things will change only when there's peace at home, and you DH wants it. There are many post delivery out of shape and not good looking ladies who have wonderful sex life when there's peace at home... how you get that peace is upto you, some choose to become a doormat & some cant let anyone control them... focus on PEACE whatever way you get it. In my case things improved even when I dint change my physical thing, just bought some peace at home.

 

Re: Love or SEX ?????

I think its both!

 

Re: Love or SEX ?????

Both...Reasons : all clearly mentioned by other buddies who have replied here

 

Re: Love or SEX ?????

Hehehe Kainaath..u are breathing a sigh of relief atlast...but have to say I enjoyed the back and forth banter about avatars and what not......:rotfl

My answer to the topic - BOTH are extremely important. I would say sex just gives that extra "oomph" in one's love life and only makes the love grow stronger.


Jaya

 

Re: Love or SEX ?????

whats more important: Education or Wealth or Courage.
They are all interrelated, and there is no greater or lower aspect.

Same goes here. Though technically it is possible to 'romp' (IL euphemism ) without Love, personally I find that a turn off. Love is the foundation, the other things will flow from there.

 

Re: Love or SEX ?????

Sometimes all you need is a 'romp' Spidey LOL You cannot fall in love with everyone you fancy a roll in the hay with.

I take it you did not date before marriage?

 

Re: Love or SEX ?????

Possibly. My statement was more my present thinking. I guess marriage has shifted the perspective on that somewhat to the present thinking.

There was no "dating" concept in good ol' days in India. Only now the dating scene has picked up - even then I think Bombay and Bangalore are more advanced than conservative Madras. But yeah things are a changin' now.

So no dating experience. :hide:

There was the usual dose of friends who happened to be girls, and hang out with them just as friends, but nothing beyond that.