Is my cousin and her family getting trapped by this marriage?

dont mean to be rude.. but when reading this thought the same....

 

Just written in jest.I am sure there are some bihari boys with spine who will go against this .................I hope.:coffee

 

Stereotyping and generalizing a state or community based upon one post .....I thought it was against the forum rules.

Well, coming to the point OP.

In Bihar like many other larger states, there are several castes and communities and there is nothing like a Bihari culture or a Bihari marriage.But since you have mentioned the family name, I believe you are talking about Maithil Brahmins who don't consider themselves Bihari. Please research more on the internet.

No, if people want to ask for dowry but cannot readily ask then they camouflage it like this. However, where the girl is not earning, the girl's side end up paying for the entire wedding expenses.This does not mean it is a trend for all families in this specific community.Varies from case to case. Sometimes, a beautiful or a working girl's family has to pay for nothing other than their own side expenses.

Depends on the affordability of the girls' side as well as the reasons why the wedding costs would be so much. Personally I would think that it is a waste of money to spend so much on one day's event. Why are the girls' parents so desperate to part with such a huge sum of money ?

Probable. Why does the girl want to marry this boy ? Is he a marriage material and does he have very bright prospects that so much money is riding on him?

This is wholly untrue. In this community, no girl or elderly female goes to the guy's side at all whether before or after the wedding(except the bride who goes only after the wedding).The mother and the elderly females don't even witness the wedding(mandapam events). They are fooling your cousin on this count for sure.

Very true. There is no engagement in this community. Like some other poster mentioned, there is what they call the 'chheka' where boy's mother sends a ring and sari for the girl through the girls' parents.

I feel the girl is too desperate to marry this guy whose family is not found convincing by the entire family of the girl.In such a case, it is better to call it quits.