1. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Liked anything that you read here? You may nominate it as the Finest Posts!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Is It Really "success" When "morals" Are Compromised?

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by anika987, Aug 8, 2020.

  1. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    5,501
    Likes Received:
    7,574
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    A personal incident prompted me to start this thread...

    Hard work is understood.It is respectful and totally worth it even if the desired goals have not been achieved to the maximum.

    Morals..it is not just about the physical but backstabbing,emotional etc anything which is just not right but is done to achieve what one needs.

    It is an Open secret that though there is lot of hardship....not all but some of the top actors have achieved their level of success by compromising using casting couch,using influence to grab others chances etc..Hardship and hardwork are different.

    I have heard many people comment that in the IT industry,there is groupism,taking credit for other people's work etc..

    Be it any industry..

    In a small way as an example..I sing quite well and was popular for those reasons back in school days among st my friends and classmates.However..the teacher( I remember this so well!) We had auditioned to sing on stage,but instead took my name off the page(was selected by another teacher) and added her son who is very okay singer to the list..
    Apart from that her favorite students who cannot sing well will always get the first prize.This would have happened to so many,different incidents for sure..

    What I wanted to ask is.."Success" achieved through this way..is it really worth gloating?Does it really provide the person the happiness and make them feel they really achieved??
    Sure..they might get the fame,money but is it really worth enjoying that by compromising on morals?
    All those superstars in life who are put on a pedestal..did they really fight the right way against real talents to achieve what they have today?

    I had a classmate back in college who wanted to model so bad.She was tall and pretty and did few modelling stints..She also did an ad but she quit her dreams.Her reason is she was asked to compromise wherever she went and she did not want to.She never made it big.She quit and now she is settled in Bangalore.Is she a failure or a success here?How does one decide?

    In your opinion..what is real success?
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2020
    Viswamitra, lavani, iyerviji and 3 others like this.
    Loading...

  2. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    873
    Likes Received:
    1,020
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    I have faced similar situations since school days, I was good at literary events and art and craft but did not always get the opportunities to take part in events where I could Showcase my talent. Mostly, the favourites of teachers would be nominated for participation..during my office days, I too experienced a career slump and saturation due to office politics, less deserving people taking credit for my work, people getting projects based on personal connection with superiors rather than actual eligibility for role etc...I was very depressed when I lost my project, my job and struggled with so many unsuccessful interviews till I myself decided to take a break for family related reasons..all I can say is that hard work alone isn’t enough...we need to play smart, be shrewd, clever, cunning sometimes and maintain a very confident and charming personality at the same time while being morally correct to succeed in life.
     
    candidheart and anika987 like this.
  3. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    5,501
    Likes Received:
    7,574
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    But being cunning is also immoral..That is why wanted to know what is real success..anyways loved your reply need to be strong:)

    Some have achieved through imperfect means and how is that even a success though..others could not be a somebody coz they fail to be immoral.Are they still a success?
     
    Needtobestrong likes this.
  4. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    342
    Likes Received:
    417
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Yes, one can get success by compromising, but no, it is not worth *all* the time. Sometimes, people are forced to compromise. Am I advocating for compromise? Not really. But sometimes, people do it for a cause. Could they have avoided the same? Depends on them. Take for example, your classmate. I think she was in a situation where she could say that it's fine not to compromise. She did not need the money(probably), it wasn't like her family or herself would be on the streets without the money. There are people who will not compromise no matter what, even if they are in dire straits. But how many such people exist in today's world? How many have the patience to side with integrity? I personally have experienced that whenever I have sided with integrity it paid off in the long run. But integrity should be backed by action. Inaction will force a person to compromise. And that's where many people, including myself, have failed. As far as film stars are concerned, yes, many of them seem to compromise and they could have very well avoided it. Definitely they could have. Sadly, this rot is spreading to other professions as well. Should one compromise? As far as possible, they shouldn't. Because one day when they will look back, they will have deep regrets. A compromise done for a good cause may pay back, but a compromise done due to insecurity and fear will bring misery in the long run. One more thing is that once a person compromises, they may be forced to compromise again in the future. Finally, one should not confuse lack of focus with compromise. A person with integrity will not compromise with their efforts or character, they will compromise for their loved ones, they will choose the harder approach, if need be to achieve their goals.
     
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2020
    anika987 and nandinimithun like this.
  5. nandinimithun

    nandinimithun IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    1,200
    Likes Received:
    4,474
    Trophy Points:
    335
    Gender:
    Female
    It takes lot of courage to stand alone and be on the right path inspite of seeing unfair practices.
    I personally feel, when i am fair and go by the rules, i feel nice about myself.
    Well yes, i have faced similar experiences as yours, did we feel bad about that, but later i felt my competition was with myself, and that i had to better myself everyday...

    Staying strong and moving om is the mantra on life, i feel.

    Regards
    Nandini
     
  6. Mehana

    Mehana Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,300
    Likes Received:
    938
    Trophy Points:
    208
    Gender:
    Female
    Back in my college days..we had a good group of circle(3 boys and 5 girls)..in 2nd year we got seperated as everyone goes into different department they chose.

    A girl she joined in my department ....I got know her she's staying at the hostel as her place is out of the city..

    We always meet everyday(group of friends from first year I mentioned) ...we help each other if anyone need of any books...or any kind of help...my biggest mistake is I introduced this girl to my group of friends...

    She was really jealous on our circle as no one speak to her in my classroom...I don't no much about her so I introduced to my circle of friends

    She's slowly started getting too close to one of the boy...she even proposed him..played smartly and bad mouth about me and other 2 girls to him...later he seperated him from other boys in the circle...

    She's very smart she know how to control him..she even played the game very well and with that boy's mother...pretend like she's very innocent ...

    I stopped talking to her even in my college days... accidentally saw her in fb...she is happy married that guy...with 2 kids..

    My close friend she is very innocent and faced lot of problems because of this selfish girl...even today my friend is suffering due to her family issue..and my other friend has issue with her husband.

    So if you are cunning, smart, grab other people's things, bad mouth, selfish, play like an criminal...you can win what you want and live the life happily.. till now I cannot accept how this is possible..
     
    candidheart and anika987 like this.
  7. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    5,501
    Likes Received:
    7,574
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    That is so true..
     
  8. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    873
    Likes Received:
    1,020
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    I know..it’s immoral to be cunning...unfortunately it becomes tough to succeed when we are straight forward and honest and nice always..we need to be street smart, shrewd, bold, cunning and outspoken beyond means if we need to stay at the top...I have lost so much by being “ nice”....many people whom I helped professionally did not give a **** about me when I lost my project and was in trouble and needed work..Sometimes no One really likes if someone else is also able to be successful..... if I get employment again, I wouldn’t hesitate to play politics if it helps me to be successful..I’m fed up of being a doormat..
     
    iman and anika987 like this.
  9. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    5,501
    Likes Received:
    7,574
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    Well unfortunately in today’s world ..even good people have to resort to politics but how can that be treated as success? That is false success and I always felt being true and though not successful in the terms of the world,living in other integrity is the best success.
     
    candidheart likes this.
  10. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    536
    Likes Received:
    704
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    There are a few ways to look at this. In corporate or academic world (these were I am from), protecting one's interest can be construed as cunning or selfishness. IMO, you need to be outspoken about your work and your ethics. For example, in a meeting (or any other scenario) if you are being accused of doing (or not doing) something, if you didn't clarify that at the moment, then most probably your chance is gone. Doing the justification then and there might sound rude and defensive for someone, but that is IMO standing up for myself and/or team. Also, when a direct attack comes to you or your team, you need to be diplomatic and smart about how you deal with it, without hurting the higher officials, or even in family situations. That's how a true leader is. All these street smart, shrewd, cunning, whatever you name it can be good or bad depending on the situation. there is no generalization for this. And being successful is how you see yourself. If you look a person who had a big job, expensive cars and house, or being a normal job person or a house wife or a part time employee, all of these people can be successful, its how they see themselves. there is no universal measuring unit for any of these!!! This is just my opinion.
     
    KashmirFlower and anika987 like this.

Share This Page