Is it Possible To Love 2 People at the same time?

I've followed this thread from beginning to now and I must say that I'm very proud of all the participants who came out and shared their experiences and admitted the need for change. I respect you all, not many are brave as you few to come out from behind the curtain and share your life experiences with the hope of changing situations for the better. This forum seems to have cleared the air for a lot of people. Neha, I hope that you don't request the administrators to close this thread anytime soon because I feel it will continue to help and bring clarity to others for a long time to come. For those who choose to condemn, you would be fooling yourselves to think that the issues brought forward in this thread are far fetched and out of place. If you take off your blinders you would realize that the majority of people at some point in their lives are affected by similar issues, but that does not mean that we have to caste aspersions and condemn. I think as humans and more so, as Indians we have a responsibility to try to support and uplift each other even if it's by means of forums such as this. If we don't encourage others in a positive way to stay on the right path, then we would all be partly responsible for the demise of of our race and culture. Anyone who claims to have not made mistakes in their life, have not lived life.

 

Wow Heart rendering speech. The last but one line about Indians uplifting each other through Internet forums takes all the cake.

 

Neha, Stop this for your own safety.You have a loving hubby and better live the life happily.You are not only cheating your hubby but hurting another innocent woman (his wife) too.There are a lot of ways to justify our action but it is upto an individual to live life in a certain way.And you are a grown up adult to know what is acceptable(right) and what is not.

 

Neha,

Indeed, this is a dilemma you are in. As some one pointed out, I also think that your problem now is how to break away from someone who was with you during your low time. It just feels wrong to you to dump him, now that all is fine with your husband. My question to you is why did he get involved with you. Does he have issues with his wife too, that you know of? If he is in need of emotional support, as you were, when you first befriended him, then it will be harder for you to break free of him. If not, then you should understand that he is only going around with you to have fun, right?
And if he is with you because of the second case then trust me, he will dump you whenever it is convenient to him, as in, if say, his wife finds out about your relationship. Trust me, most men go back to their wives. I have seen it happen in real life, and many statistics support that too. Then you will bear the burden of a broken heart. Even if you decide to leave your husband, what are the chances that he will leave his wife and family if he has any.
Right now you may feel it to be very insensitive to just drop him like that, but that is the best solution to this problem in the long run. And to do so, you should just tell him what you have decided and why and then just stop all communication. He will try to reach you initially and feel very upset, but if he is sincere to his wife he will realize that this is the right thing to do, if not he will find someone else.

Good luck!!

 

It is good to love everybody in the world. However, it is better to think about ETHICS when you are bound with any relation. The emotions that you are experiencing, may, practically not help you.

 

So EMA is just a mistake now? i thought EMA amounts to cheating.

 

FS, everything rides on something called 'Perception'. It's how you want to look at it. It's trying to look beyond just the two well known colors - Black and White

 

hi neha ! just finished reading ur post from beginning to end .
all the other members have given u valuable advice, i can only add up that yes we can feel emotional connection with two different people but depth of feelings will vary. from ur posts i could make out that u loved and still love ur hubby but some problems made u seek out emotional support from someone else . i would be bit harsh but the truth is there are a lot of men who would have been willing to help u. if u just look around and see the women who r divorced and even widowed have more men ready to offer them so called help !
may be the guy did not want a sexual relation and did not push u and i m happy u did not have any physical relation with him . u know if u analyse this u can see deep in ur heart u were committed to ur husband and to the sacred union called marriage so u also did not cross ur limits.
and please STOP THINKING U R A BAD PERSON !!!!!!!!!!!!! U R NOT !!!!!!
human emotions r complex n not simple as most of people think . there r so many people who r not willing to acknowledge that they did something wrong , u r a brave person !
now i will say u please sit down n think about the life u want ?
as this person is married do u think u have a future with him ? if he will stay in his married life n seek only emotional support from u then r u willing to ruin ur chance of happy marriage n give it up all to be called the other women ? i dont know if he has children or not because if he is married with children then i dont think u can have any future with this guy let only be a happy future .
u should thank god that life gave u a second chance n ur relationship with ur husband is improving, work hard to make it better.
no one is perfect my dear , so expecting ur husband to be a perfect man is unrealistic , expecting ur self to be a perfect wife who can do no wrong is even more unrealistic. we r humans n bound to make mistake . although i dont think ur emotional connection with the internet guy was a mistake or conscious decision , it was just may be ur emotional week point.
i wont say just forget n move on . yea move on but remember this n try to make ur relationship with husband so strong that u dont fall in this trap ever again .
life is beautiful and love is the most beautiful emotion and being in love with the man u married n as u say loved is something which cant be erased .
u love ur husband n know u have a happy future with him , its just ur guilt feeling that ur chat friend may feel bad is stoping u to 100 % committed in ur marriage .
let ur heart n mind free of guilt of both emotional bonding with other man as well as so called dumping ur chat friend . u have not done something so wrong that it cant be changed.
as for ur questions , can u be in love with two guys: NO . If its with two ppl its not love , sometimes we mistake concern , attraction ,care or friendship as love.
second about telling ur husband : again big NO , i would say first work hard to built a trust between both of u and then when u feel u both have so much trust n acceptance between both of u that u can accept each other faults then u can judge n decide what to say but till then no.
ur situation makes me remember a prayer u also might have heard ,
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

accept that what relation u had was not right step to sort out issues in married life , u can change the current situation , u just need courage to take the bold steps .
my prayers n love to u ! may god give to wisdom to take right decision .

 

Dear Neha,

Hope you are in a more positive direction with your decision. Glad you shared your dilemma with a host of many out here. You'll feel lighter knowing your not alone. We all make mistakes and the good thing about it is that we realise and are remorseful and take the steps to correct it just like you've done. Do update us on the outcome. I've realised that the majority of people paint a 'picture perfect' family setting and condemn but the truth is that 'no one knows what goes on behind closed doors'. Thanks for your honesty. God bless