Is it okay if husband enjoys while wife is on bed rest during pregnancy ?

angelindreams · Jul 4, 2012

Re: Is it okay of husband enjoys while w ife is on bed rest during pregnancy ?

Yeah I told her the same. Asked her to stitch something for her new born. She has some vague ideas she will stitch it seems

angelindreams · Jul 4, 2012

Re: Is it okay of husband enjoys while w ife is on bed rest during pregnancy ?

digezt said: ↑

Eitherway Men again become Bachelors in absentia....:rotfl
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Yeah but as saipavani said he will have some responsibility in hand (on head) . He entirely can't be bachelor.

angelindreams · Jul 4, 2012

Re: Is it okay of husband enjoys while w ife is on bed rest during pregnancy ?

Confused211 said: ↑

Does he like spending time with her mother? He may not hate her but may not be comfortable with her a whole lot. For instance, my husband has nothing against my mother as far as I know but he finds it very difficult to carry on a conversation with her, because there aren't many common topics. Now, they just talk about our daughter. I completely disagree with the thought that "boys will be boys" but boys are not taught to accommodate others' needs into their lives, in our culture. Nor to take care of themselves, much less of someone else. Sounds like he's running from her mother or balking at his responsibilities or just plain thinking that as the responsibility is being taken care of by MIL, he doesn't have to change anything about himself.

How was he before her mother came? Insensitive? Solicitous? Why is her mother there anyway? Not that the mother doesn't have a right to be there but he should be taking care of his wife himself instead of relying on her mother to do so. Then, when he wants the few hours away, she'll be only too happy because she may want him out of her hair for a bit too.

How far along is she?
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Her mother is very calm lady. As far as I know aunty she does cook good things and does her own work. Like reads some meditation related books or does pooja for 1- 2 hours. Doesn't interfere in daughters married life. Even in rage of anger her mother's topic didnt come at all. Same thing as you said her daughter needs to find topics to converse with her. You may ask how did she manage during childhood. Aunty is not boring lady. But her hobbies are different than my friend. She even now says "we are old. you guys enjoy" kind of talks. She used to say this even when we were teenagers. This girl was my school friend. So when I went to play at their house in holidays. She used make all goodies, keep us in a room and ask us to enjoy as we want and she used mind her own business. This husband does not have any issues with her mother.

In general they are loving couple. He is not insensitive as far as know. They are just outgoing which he is not able to leave . No major fights between them. Before her mother came , they both used to go to office and yeah sometimes to restaurants also. She continued to her hobby classes. Just normal life . She is in 2nd trimester now. 6th month ending.

Her concern that day was, when I can leave going out just for baby for a while and be at home , he can't leave that (in the sense he can't even do that much for me) . I think even this is out of frustration. Later both of them apologized to each other . I called her yesterday to find out how is she doing. He accompanied her to hospital (for scanning).

Anyway she is back to her normal self. But this will crop up again I feel . But even for some moments I even hated entire men community leaving few !

Men !! if anyone is reading this , please take care of your pregnant wife. She is carrying your child. Make her part of your enjoyment whatever it is. Talking 2-3 sentences with love to someone makes much much much big difference in their lives. If possible leave aside "Yuppy !! I got freedom without her " for a while. Afterall you are becoming a dad. Be with her . I won't say leave your me time, but have her and her choices in mind while doing something. She too has you in mind. Whats fun watching movie or going out with friends come back home and find angry frustrated wife shouting at you ? She doesn't deserve this. I am sure you will find happy moments to cherish . Let pregnancy be a sweet memory always to her infact to both of you Not a nightmare ! Looking back you should be able to smile at things "when she was pregnant we did this and all" . Afterall these stories will reach your children . They shouldn't raise fingers or hate their dad for what he did during his/her moms pregnancy right ??

tcbhuvana · Jul 4, 2012

Hi angel,
I can understand your friend's feeling. Her husband is still like a teen ager and wants to enjoy life to its core, by not bothering about his wife's feelings. Your friend explained and fought with him, but he is repeating the same. It shows he is immatured. That is very bad and he needs to change and be kind to his wife during her pregnancy. If not ask your friend to put crying drama to her husband and her inlaws about his activities. This will help because gents cant bear ladies's tears. He might change. If not he is going to loose a pure love from his wife. Its his big loss. Just ask your friend to move on and do everything alone and in some weeks time she will used to it.

angelindreams · Jul 4, 2012

Hey thanks for the reply bhuvana. I actually posted 2 threads by mistake thinking threads did not submit. Both the times I re-wrote whole story. Moderator Please delete this thread. Thanks