Is expecting honesty from teenagers a tall order?

It is very easy to read poems and articles and say that we should be 'liberal ' .Yes as a parent I have been liberal?open and very honest with my children and found that by and large both my children were very sensible despite living in Europe .But we as Indian parents are different from the rest of the world in many radical ways. We care all through our lives and as my mother used to say - once we have children we live for them and then we cannot think of ourselves! However today mothers and fathers are changing - yes changing in very many ways and so we see children too changing!
Each parent has to find his/her balance on how to treat children according to their age and psychology and behaviour.There is no magic universal formula.
Parents have to be guides to their children and then leave it at that and they too must set example by their own actions.

 

Honestly, I do not know what one should do or not do, even though I have two grown up children. I can only tell you what my own experience is. I myself was a diffident yet very independent person both in thought and in action. Sounds very contradictory does it not? Well, it is like this. I did not do so many things in my life because of my diffidence + many other reasons. So when my children did things unusual, I was encouraging and managed to stay in the loop by participating in it in whatever way possible without intruding on them. They grew up to be quite self sufficient and independent. I would not say they are ideal children or I am an ideal parent. But the communication I established with them is total and complete. I do not expect them to tell me every thing but believe they will if I ask them. If there is anything I do know about them, I believe I do not need to. It does not hurt me because I respect their personal space as much as I do mine. This has been the scene all their lives from kindergarten period to this day. What I mean to say, with me it has been trust and respect between us that has been the basis of our relationship. It seems to me that my children would agree with me wholeheartedly.

 

hi deaf woman I saw your blog a bit late , it was good da , i too think about that , my mom was like your mom , she used to be friendly at the same time strict , but still i love my mom very much , in such a way i want to be.

Hi happy ur poem is very good yaar.

 

I am a affected by my teen age daughter. We are very close, even when I gotmy salary we two will sit and make the budgetfor the month. When we have our dinner we use to talk about all the things what happend that day. She will continously talk about each and every class teacher, how they taught, she will act like that itself, and her friends. She will scold his brother what is happend in his class. She is very naughty, bold and brave,I am tto proud of her. She finished her 10th std with 480/marks. joined +1 and came to +2. She attended her weekly test , but not showing her marks to me. One day I sat with her and spoke, its difficult for her to score marks she got very low marks in 1 digit, I scold her , take care of her studies, becuse its the base for her future .
After that I have for get, she told mid term test is coming , she wake up earlier and studied.
the day on 9th august morn I went to office, she told that thay are having some contest in the school she will go in the afternoon. The message cam eto my office she hang by herself .
What can i do, whats wrong on my growth. As the nasic of mom I have ful fill what i can do with my earnings. what can i do , atlast i lost her, my life wen t with her , each and every day is moving with tears and her memories, and I am talking with her my self . how long i have to live like this way, I want to die earlier. How?

 

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