Ours is a love marriage and my relationship with SILs (3 of them) and MIL was pretty good up until wedding. After the wedding we moved to US and so did the SILs. I come from large joint family and theirs is a nuclear family (literally) not a single relationship continued despite of the fact both MIL and FIL have atleast 5 siblings (strange isn't it). Dear Hubby (DH) feels that being the only son for his parents it is his responsiblity to give them the world. Specially, MIL because she suffered a lot from FILs absence during their chilhood and also from her inlaws. Anyway, for my MIL her kids are the only good people in the world everyone else is bad (including FIL). Needless to say, she feels my 40 year old husband is a baby and I am out to destroy him (talk about paranoia). To cut long story short, both SILs and MILs are extremely intrusive of our personal life, do not care about my feelings. Recently, for his birthday I had planned an surprise romantic weekend getaway. Guess what, the entire family (3 SILS their family, FIL a total of 25 people) landed as surprise B'day gift for my hubby. My MIL landed last weekend insisting that she misses her son. She was in our house all this while planning and giving them information on what we have in our house etc etc. Although, I appreciated their effort, I was deeply dissappointed because my plans for dropped. My DH is the sweetest husband anyone can have, as long as his family is not involved. However, when his family is involved I am nobody to him. He cannot say a single word against his sisters (although they are all younger to him) or mother. Anyway, after my SILs went back to their respective places, I sent a polite thank you note along with a single liner saying that I had my plans and I would have appreciated advance notice. One of my hard headed arrogant SIL writes back implying we do not care!!! As I mentioned, DH is extremely fine when his family is not involved. Unfortunately, the family is so intrusive that it is hard to keep them away too long. I tried talking to the SIL's husbands, they are so vexed up with their wives that they do not want to deal with this issue. Any advice on how to handle this situation.