Intolerable Irresponsibility!

srinivasan_vanaja · Jun 26, 2007

hi everyone,

the very first quality i am against is irresponsibility even in small small things.

i see few people being very irresponsible in petty matters. i really do not know what would be the percentage of their population.

for example - let me take one of the tenants who reside in our compound. a common post box is being kept outside for all of us. though this particular family members pass through the gate many a number of times, they just don't bother to peep in and see what is left for them in the post box. i even kept the posts on the window sill near to which they would park the vehicle. no use.

in my music class - many students children/elders come and learn music. they don't pay the fees properly. the caretaker has to pay the salary to the teachers from the money collected as fees. he finds it very difficult to manage because of this irresponsible parents and students.

is this can be rectified? or these type of people will never realize?

regards,

Vanaja

Chitvish · Jun 27, 2007

Dear Vanaja,
Try however I might, I cannot help coming in your thread ! - the topics are such.
Irresponsibility is a way of life for many - not now, but has been so always. Many are not bothered about small courtesies, taking for granted the service done by others, having no time sense, there by putting others very often in a tight spot.
The motivation has to come from within!
Nobody can be coaxed or tutored by another person. Even your children, you cannot teach; but you can be an example & they imbibe the quality by observation.
It has to be cultivated by one from an early age - my parents used to take me to task if I was irresponsible in any action. But I now thank them, because acting responsible became a natural trait as I grew up - ofcourse, I still have a long way to go, I don't deny !
You come out with less-discussed topics & I applaud you for that !
Love,
Chithra.

srinivasan_vanaja · Jun 27, 2007

Dear Chithra Madam,

Madam you have made me more responsible in this forum by your kind words. Thank you very much for your appreciation.

Yes, as you said it has to come from within. At one point or other it has to be told too. Telling this type of people is an art and we need to cultivate this art first, where we should not wound the person and make them realize that their irresponsibility affect others too.

ofcourse, i found this art in very few people and i admire at their skill and also aspire to cultivate it in me.

regards,

Vanaja

Gulli · Jun 27, 2007

Hi!!!!

I too agree with it..U know onething i am a lazygal and never does a single work at my mothers place.and after marriage also that continues...coz my hubby never says me anything..v both used to roam,,go out for dinners,,and for the rest of the work(cleaning,washing,mobbingI i had a maid...so no other work..so the only work i do is cooking...I will go and play table tennis in the evening with the apartment ladies..

And after 6 months i got pregannat ..and my husband went for an onsite and i was back to my native place where both my mother and in-law's resides.As i was pregnant my won't allow me to do any work..and it was same in my mother in laws place too ..I was also in a depression state at time coz of my husbands onsite trip was extended .then comes the delivery time..It was a C-section for me..Then watelse will happen if u din't do any work...

Beleive me i the fourthday the doctors made me walk...My mom asked me to stay for 5 months in her place...but v totally refused that they have to seek a gal for my brother...they have their duties packed..and i do want to be with my husband...so v both made a plan and conviced my parents and i was sent in 2 months...i came along with my MIL to bangalore...

And now the real story starts....She used to prepare food for morning and afternoon coz my husband used to take lunch box.she never wakes me up..she used to tell me.."I don't want to wake u up...coz u will be tired in feeding the baby...How nice she is...This continues for a weekk..Really i felt guilty...so i decided to wake up in the morning...and help her out....and days paced on and i took the charge over and i started to cook and do the house hold chores...

And after2 months my MIL went to the native place. i used to balance the cooking with the help of my husband..he used to take care of our baby after returning from office and at that time i used to do the next day cooking and night cooking too...He is such a wonderful person...and morning v decided to go for a walk to the near by park..That's the turning point...the brisk walking makes me brisk the whole day...i myself managed if my maid took leave..previous i used to get tensed..

I use d to teach my babies flash cards ,good behavioural books,read moral stories..That made me to set a good example to my baby..If i follow the good habits then i can teach my baby to be like that...and from that day onwards..I am more into positive thoughts..i want to get appreciation from my husband that makes me to change me..i will keep the house clean,clean the fridge,dusting,put the toys the back in its place..keep all the things in its appropriate place..wenever he askes for anything..without searching it i will take and give it to him...

And i feel that i have fully transformed in a good home maker i hope...

So "TIME WILL CHANGE PPL WHO R IRRESPONSIBLE"..THEY HAVE TO CHANGE WITHOUT CHANGING NO POINT OF LEADING A MEANINGFUL LIFE...

I am an example...i am a new writer so i will improve it...thanx a lot for giving me this oppourtunity....

Regards,
SD

lathanarasimhan · Jun 27, 2007

Hi gulli,
Nice of you to have openly admitted your flaw & you have changed for the better.

We all learn from our mistakes. Any error committed unintentionally Is a mistake and can be corrected.

regards latha:wave

Nivedi · Jun 27, 2007

Hi Vanaja,

Another sensible topic from you :2thumbsup: !

As Chitra Ma'am has pointed out, we cannot teach resposibility to anyone. Forgetfulness and lack of self-motivation can be some causes of irresponsibility. For some irresponsibility is habitual. There are some men who are very responsible in their official duties, but turn out to be utterly careless towards their homes.

When I was working in India, I was part of a team of 15 people who worked in shifts. Each of us were paid different salaries, although we were all doing the same work. Some amoung us were extremely efficient, while a few were taking life easy. The efficient and diligent one's were slogging in each task and the easy-going one's were merely sitting back, walking in late and chilling out. This went on unchecked for some time till the HR department was flooded with complaints and everyone was paid the same salary and the work was divided equally. Their attitude was something like this - "Why should I break my head over this.....someone else is there to do and I get paid for it! "

We come across many instances where one sibling takes care of the home or parents and the others live their lives saying "Oh! When my parents are happy with him, why should I bother?"

Best regards,
Nivedi

srinivasan_vanaja · Jun 27, 2007

hi gulli,

i really appreciate you admitting your mistakes. people around you never made you to realize your responsibilities. that is where we go wrong. out of concern they kept you not working. but in your case, you are basically responsible and at times you also felt for being idle. keep it up.

regards,

Vanaja

srinivasan_vanaja · Jun 27, 2007

hi nivedi,

though we are not here to teach responsibility, i think we must tell people sometime or other what they are doing is wrong. it is upto them to take it serious.

it is very sad that people are getting paid for their irresponsibility. it will not go on. the trend will change definitely, if the responsible people become still more responsible about others responsibilities.:-D

regards,

Vanaja

sowminivibu · Jun 28, 2007

Hi Vanaja

a very nice topic indeed !!!!!!well the truth is tht when we start going behind ppl who r irresponsible and start doing the wrk for the,..they really dun realise our value.....sumtimes we need to be hard heartened and let them do their work.....

when i was in my school days..i used to get up at 6.45 for my school which used to start at 7.45...my mother used to rush with things for me and i used to ask my dad to go fast n drop me in school as i might be late.....one day my mom wanted to teach me the hard way and she didnt wake me up at all......frm tht day i realised..tht it is my duty to get up n get ready to school..

now being a housewife,have been learning frm experience.....when i get even 4 hrs of sleep i still make it a point to get up in the morning and pack the lunch for my hubby....at any cost i will not make him buy his lunch outside..thts what helikes in me....the responsibility tht i have in dutifully packing his lunch daily....

time is the best teacher and we learn so much as we grow !!!

lov
sowmi

srinivasan_vanaja · Jun 28, 2007

hi sowmi,

yes, time is the best teacher.

your packing lunch for your husband is of course your priority. i accept the time had taught to you be more responsible.

but i am talking about the people who are very responsible in priorities and neglect few responsibilities as i have mentioned above. thats what become really intolerable.

we must check up whether we are responsible even in small small things. but i am happy that this thread made you to recollect your school days responsibilities too.

regards,

Vanaja