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Inter Caste/religion Love Marriage

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by balamotwani, Sep 30, 2007.

  1. balamotwani

    balamotwani Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Friends,

    Are there any body who married against parents wishes or with their blessings but not their choice into different community/caste/religion?

    Can you share your experience?
    1) How you got married?
    2) After marriage - compromises, sacrifices, inlaws,relatives,....?
    3) How successful it is now?
    4) What is your vision for your kids? What is your advice to others after your marriage?
     
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  2. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi bala,

    On a lighter note, why dont you start with yours...i feel you are trying to compare notes....i think i am right..then break the ice yourself...well there are lot of them in IL.....
     
  3. balamotwani

    balamotwani Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Shanthi,

    I am very poor in writing though i like to write a lot. I dont get to remember things at one shot and i just write what comes to my mind.

    OK give me sometime, i will collect my thoughts and send my story first.
     
  4. balamotwani

    balamotwani Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Ladies,

    My Marriage - I got married against our parents wishes. They came to know and both sides didnt agree bcos we do not share anything in common except we both did CA course together and we both are from Chennai. Parents felt that Food/God/Lifestyle/Mother Tongue/caste.... nothing is common, so it will never work out. My Mil knew about us first thru my hubby. My hubby was in Botswana and i was in Chennai. So my mil thought that we will forget as we are apart and he will return back only after 3 years. I cried when i saw a greeting card that he sent me thru a parcel along with his mom's, which she gave me. So seeing that she would have felt that she should put an end to our story.She broke this news to my parents thru phone.My mom didnt beleive it. She took me to God's room and told me to promise in front of God that i do not love him. I couldnt lie, i thought anyway one day they should know so i told the truth that Iam in love with him. My dad who was a very strict person, he said it all happens in this age, you should forget him and concentrate on your studies. I was 22. My mom was doing special prayers for me and always blackmailed me and also my sisters, they weren't supporting me. Even my close friend was afraid bcos of my story, she didnt want to help me as she is a family friend. She felt i crossed my limits and is a very bad daughter not thinking about my parents and disgrace i will cause,....... So finally i told my parents that i will forget him but i wont marry anyone. But my mom was still not satisfied.I told him to come rightaway and get married to me. He said he is new to the job and he doesnt have money to come immediately and his mom has taken promise that he shouldnt come to india for next 6 months, if he does, she will die.
    Then when i realised that i was getting a serious alliance and then i decided that this is final call to him and 6 months has elapsed. So with my college friend help i arranged for everything. She also had an intercaste marriage, her hubby is a lawyer. So when he landed in the airport, we went to the temple in the airport got married there and went to register office and got registered. Then bought tickets to Jammu to visit Vaishnav devi, my hubby prayed that if we are successful then he will climb bare foot to have mata darshan in Katra on top of the mountain. I left my house without anything. I was wearing a yellow color cotton salwar and just my handbag with not much inside. But i stole my passport from my dad's bureau and had to renew my passport. That same evening we went to T Nagar and was shopping as i didnt have anything to wear the next day and few things for our trip. I called my home, my sister took the phone, i broke the news to her, she said dont fool me, she didnt believe, then i told my hubby to speak to her, then she believed. I told them not to search for me as i have got married to him. I started crying, i was standing in Naidu hall and my hubby said come lets get out, stop crying and convincing me. He said whatever has to happen will happen and believe it, it happens for good.He didnt call his parents to tell the news, they came to know thru my parents. And as usual both side parents were blaming each other. Finally we called from Mata mandir to know what happened. Now everyone knew, both parents agreed and my inlaws told us to come home and they are ready to accept us. It is not quite easy to love, leave the house, parents,....
    It needs lots of courage, determination, guts.....
    I feel it is destiny that it has to happen this way and God gave me the strength and he was always with me.

    We are happily married for 6 years now and i gave birth to a beautiful, cute daughter and everyone is happy.

    Let me stop here and wait for others to write their story
     
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2007
    1 person likes this.
  5. gmadhavi

    gmadhavi New IL'ite

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    :-D decisions like marriage are first of all not easily arrived at. esp. standing against parents and growing thro' the ruckus only makes the relationship stronger (if the individuals are strong enough). its not that I don't like my parents giving me that drill it only reinforced my faith in my husband but at the same time the elders loose the respect we hold when they cross their lines. today we are happily married and have a beautiful daughter and are totally in love with each other.
     
  6. Kamla

    Kamla IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Balamotwani,

    What a bold love story :) And it is all yours' !
    Though your narration sounded like a movie script, it is real life and I must say that you were totally convinced about your love. I can well imagine that it must have been extremely difficult.
    Although you gave a brief description, all the emotions involved, the risks, the heart wrenching decision to go against one's family and take such a huge decision must have been very very tough and needs pages to bring out the real turmoil.
    The best part of your life is it has an happy outcome ! Thank God and thanks to your trust in Love.
    I wish you both many many many years of successful and love filled marriage.
    If not for its mention in the September FP winner thread, I would have missed out on reading your story.

    L, Kamla
     
  7. yenetishashi

    yenetishashi Senior IL'ite

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    dear bala,
    my hearty congratulations to u for completing 6 years of successful marriage :clap .it is really good that u didnt step back at any time ,though no one supported to u . but i feel luck should also favor u ,for getting lovelable life partner who is also as stubbon as u to get marry againt his parents wishes .by the way can u pls tell us what all differences u both have and how u r adjusting with them.
    enjoy :thumbsup .
    bye , shashi.
     
  8. balamotwani

    balamotwani Bronze IL'ite

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    Thank you Kamlaji,

    It sounds really like a movie, but you should remember movies are taken from real life stories. And the emotions involved are genuine and when i think back, it was really thrilling but that time it was too depressing.
    When i told my story to south indian actor Madhavan(he lived with his wife on the groundfloor apartment below my inlaws house in Kilpauk opposite Ega theatre), he said the same thing like you - It sounds like a movie- It was something similar to that time movie- Alaipayuthey. Then after i finished my story, he told his. He is an Iyengar and he married a north indian and he said his experience how he tried to convince his grandfather.

    It's true, i can write pages and pages. My advice to the girls/ladies, If they are confident about their love and their partner, they should marry at any cost. I feel I am very lucky now for having chosen Goldie Motwani as my life partner. But that time one of my friend who got married, went to US and came back after divorce. Reason- Her husband was suspicious. So it is better to know them very well, their nature, bad habits, qualities,..... and then take right decision. Bcos this life partner is your choice and any difficulty it is your headache not parents, so do your best.

    Of course without God's consent, its really impossibble for me. I prayed to Hanumanji that he should unite me and goldie like how he helped ram-sita(I am not comparing ram - sita with us, but the love is true like them). I bribed Hanumanji with 1008 rounds. This is my usual bribe from 10th std onwards for my results and he always blessed me with what i want.

    As you say i am poor in writing and also still feel new to the forum. If Malathy has not sent the PM about my winning, i would have not known. Today morning first time i started an Invention Game in Games forum and then saw the announcements that games are no longer displayed in New posts.

    Anyway, i am sure, i will know in and out of this forum and also improve my writing as time goes.

    Thank you very much for your reply. I have read many of your posts and you have your own knack of making people laugh and think. Recent that i read was your thread about Amitabh. I hate Amitabh(I dont know why) and he is my hubby's favourite actor.
     
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2007
  9. balamotwani

    balamotwani Bronze IL'ite

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    Thank you Madavi and Shashi.

    Shashi, I wanted everyone to share in this thread, it looks like only me writing about myself. You are right "you need two hands to clap". Unless you are tooo sure on the other person, never ever fall in love in the first place.

    Are there no other Ilites who had intercaste marriage?????:?

    Its surprising or no one is interested to write bcos it is personal.:confused:
     
  10. priyauc

    priyauc Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Bala,
    Comgratulations!!! am so haapy that you both stood for each other and for your love and have made it. Keep it up!!!
     

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